Wonderwall
by tearsofher
Summary: DMHG- FINALLY FINISHED- Draco's feelings for her were born at the end of 5th year.. He dreamed and couldn't stop thinking about her during the summer.. But what will he do when those feelings get way too strong to hold back?
1. Wonderwall

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the song 'wonderwall' by oasis, or am in any association or acquaintance with the band. I don't own Hermione, Harry or Draco either.. Only own the plot.  
  
888888888888888888888888888888888888888888  
  
'Wonderwall' by Oasis  
  
Today is gonna be the day  
  
That they're gonna throw it back to you  
  
By now you should've somehow  
  
Realized what you gotta do  
  
I don't believe that anybody  
  
Feels the way I do about you now.  
  
Back beat the word is on the street  
  
That the fire in your heart is out  
  
I'm sure you've heard it all before  
  
But you've never really had a doubt  
  
I don't believe that anybody  
  
Feels the way I do about you now  
  
And all the roads we have to walk are winding  
  
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding  
  
There are many things that I would  
  
Like to say to you  
  
But I don't know how  
  
Chorus: Because maybe  
  
You're gonna be the one that saves me?  
  
And after all  
  
You're my wonderwall  
  
Today was gonna be the day?  
  
But they'll never throw it back to you  
  
By now you should've somehow  
  
Realized what you're not to do  
  
I don't believe that anybody  
  
Feels the way I do  
  
About you now  
  
And all the roads that lead you there are winding  
  
And all the lights that lead the way are blinding  
  
There are many things that I would like to say to you  
  
But I don't know how  
  
And I said maybe  
  
You're gonna be the one that saves me?  
  
And after all  
  
You're my wonderwall (x2)  
  
I said maybe  
  
You're gonna be the one that saves me (x3) 


	2. Prologue

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: Do not own hermione, or Draco, or any of the other characters.. Just the plot.  
  
88888888888888888888888888888888888888888  
  
Prologue  
  
Draco tossed and turned, sweat dripping down his pallid face. He opened his eyes and bolted up, gasping in air. It's been twelve nights in a row, ever since the last day of fifth year. He ran his hand through his silvery blonde hair, it was drenched in sweat. He remembered those brown eyes, that smile. He mentally slapped himself. How could he be thinking, dreaming about that mudblood Hermione Granger? He sighed, and collapsed back on his satin sheets. It felt cool, and it relaxed his tense muscles. He was going crazy, he just knew it. Why else would he thinking about that stupid girl? He tried to close his eyes again, but those brown eyes still haunted him, not letting the slytherin boy drift away. He sighed again, staring up at the pitch-black ceiling.  
  
It was that day, the last day of fifth year. They had a banquet, which was, rather good, actually, but it was at the train, that she had confused him. He stood there, glaring at her while she laughed along with Potter and Weasley. But then they hurried off someplace, and she turned her head towards him. She smiled at him, her brown eyes sparkling. This shocked Draco, but he got the feeling that something else had shocked him too. She looked almost pretty, the lazy yellow light making her hair look lighter, her brown eyes glimmering like a pool of water. It shone behind her, making her look like an angel. But if that didn't shock him, it was her words to him. Her voice was soft, graceful, and it rang in his ears, even this night.  
  
"Have a nice summer, Malfoy," she had said to him, flashed him another smile, and walked away to follow her two friends. He realized he wasn't even glaring anymore; he was so shocked. He didn't expect nice, or even decent words to be uttered to him. Especially from a girl like Hermione Granger, who he had tormented since they had stepped onto Hogwarts for the first time. He stared after her retreating figure, flabbergasted.  
  
Draco sighed; that wasn't such a shock that he had to bloody dream about the girl every night, now was it? It was annoying him, irritating him. Even confused him. He hated her, of course he did. That blasted 'heroic' trio of Gryffindor pissed him off than anything else in his entire life. Especially that Saint Potter. Draco crinkled his face in disgust. It was always Potter, Potter, Potter. How he'd love to humiliate him in front of his 'fans' one day. Draco turned the other way, so that he stared at the window, the full glowing moon shedding a ray of light on the carpeted floor. He wondered, although he had a couple of months to go still, if he would still be dreaming of that blasted girl. And if he still was (he prayed he wasn't) what was he going to think when he was to see her again on the first day back? Draco gave out a long ragged sigh, and tried to dismiss the thought. That was still far away, he needn't need to worry about it. He didn't need to worry about that mudblood Granger. 


	3. The Train

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: don't own characters, only the plot.  
  
8888888888888888888888888888888888888888  
  
The Train  
  
Draco made his way through the train, glaring at the students that brushed up against him. There was a prefect compartment, somewhere along here. Draco was pleased when he had been appointed Prefect, receiving a letter from the school with his badge. At least, with his own room, he would finally get privacy and he would be able to get some sleep without the loud snores of his fellow slytherins. Finally he reached the compartment, and he slid the door open, and walked inside. He smirked; it was big, and the seats were very comfortable. He was going to enjoy the train ride there, instead of being in the poor, lousy compartments that the other students had to sit in. He sat down, and turned so that he looked out the window. The other Prefect ought to be coming soon, and he hoped he wasn't going to be stuck with an idiot or a delusional hormonal girl. He just wanted silence, and he definitely wouldn't have that if some idiot tried to talk him up, or the pathetic girl tried to flirt with him. He would have enough of little pricks like that at Hogwarts, and he needed rest before he got there. Suddenly he heard talking outside the compartment; three voices. Two boys and one girl. He looked at the door, expecting it to open, so he could see who the other Prefect was. Then he heard laughing, and somehow he recognized that laugh. Just then the compartment door opened, and he almost didn't recognize the girl, but he know who she was. Oh, he knew who she was.  
  
She had long wavy hair, a creamy and fair face, sparkling brown eyes. The girl was wearing a light yellow shirt, and dark jeans. Draco knew those eyes too well to forget them, even if Granger had grown quite much over the summer. And he had to say, quite well. She saw Draco, and he saw her eyes darken, but she smiled at him faintly. She closed the compartment door and walked inside, and took a seat facing Draco, on the opposite side. Draco smirked; this wasn't going to be so bad. He leaned back, smirking at her. He could see her eyes watch him carefully, cautiously. Hermione knew how much Draco Malfoy hated her, and she knew he had to have some tricks up his sleeve. She had to admit, she was shocked when she had seen him in here, although she shouldn't have been. She knew perfectly well that he had the second best grades in Hogwarts, her being in first. Hermione disliked Draco Malfoy, but had to respect that he was hard working and smart. Even if he was a stuck up twit. She shifted around nervously, looking away, avoiding his gaze. Draco crossed his arms, as the smirk got bigger; this was going to be fun.  
  
" So, mudblood, how was your summer? Quite boring? Well, that was expected, now wasn't it? I mean, all you did was study, study, and talk to books who couldn't give a bloody -about your infatuation with Potter." Her head snapped towards him, glaring.  
  
" You shut your mouth, Malfoy, and I won't ask you about your whore filled summer nights," she snapped. He smiled; he had succeeded in firing her up.  
  
" Well, alright. But it was quite exciting, mind you. The house was never quiet," he smirked. Hermione looked at him, disgust spreading across her features. But then she turned away, deciding to ignore him.  
  
" Aww, Granger.. You're not hurt are you? I'm sure I can make time for you at Hogwarts." Her head snapped in his direction again. She glared knives at him; he had to admit, she looked pretty good when she was angry. But he dismissed that thought right away.  
  
" You prick. Just leave me alone, don't talk to me, don't even look at me," she said to him. Draco just smirked at her, but did as she said. He was quiet tired, and it wouldn't hurt to take a nap. So he changed his position and lay down on the soft cushions. He stared up at the ceiling, and shut his eyes. His body praised him, as he felt his body relaxing. But it was kind of hard, trying to fall asleep when the girl who had plagued his dreams every single bloody night over the summer was in the same room. But he did, eventually, as his tiredness invaded his body.  
  
Hermione looked at the young boy's sleeping form. She had a deep disgust inside for him, but she had to admit, he looked. She couldn't even believe she was thinking this, but she had to admit it, one way or another. She wasn't keen on lying to herself, let alone trying to deny what she really thought. He looked handsome, godlike, if possible. He even looked peaceful, just sleeping. If only Malfoy wasn't such a brat, then he would be pretty decent. Hermione might've even liked him, she thought. But as she just continued to look at him, her eyes began to trail down. He was lean and lanky, muscular, she guessed, because he had been playing quidditch over the summer. She understood why Lavender thought he was hot, but Hermione couldn't see herself falling for him. Maybe if he was a bit more nicer, then there would be hope for the boy.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Draco woke up, and rubbed his eyes. He sat up, and remembered Hermione was here. He looked at her; she was reading a book. He smiled; when was she never reading a book? But somehow, he admired that, in a blasted crazy way. At least she wasn't obsessing over her looks or her clothes, or that bloody wizard's make up. He yawned and got up, looking out the window; they were to be arriving at Hogwarts soon. He looked at her, and he could swear he almost felt his heart skip a beat. She was biting her lip, absorbed in her book.  
  
" You'd better change into your robes, " he said to her. She looked up at him, no expression on her face. " We're to be arriving soon, and I'm going to go change in the bathroom. You can change here, if you like. Don't worry, I'll knock before I come in." Hermione looked at him, trying to figure out if he was serious, or if he was going to open the door without knocking, to humiliate her. But as she searched his expression, she knew he wasn't kidding. There wasn't even that evil smirk on his face. She put down her book and nodded, and he left, shutting the door behind him.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Draco made his way down the corridor, going in the direction of the bathroom. The brown haired girl was still on his mind, but he tried blocking it out, thinking about how this year was going to go. This was going to be his last year; and he didn't want it to disappoint. He knocked on the bathroom door; nor reply. So he went in, and changed into his robes.  
  
After changing, he slowly made his way to the Prefect compartment. He reached their door, and he knocked, loudly. No answer. He knocked again.  
  
"Granger? You finished in there yet?" he asked. " Yes," he heard her answer. He opened the door, and she was sitting down, in her Gryfindor robes, her Prefect badge shining. And, surprise surprise, she was reading. He sighed as he went in, and closed the door. He had forgotten to put on his badge.  
  
" Reading again, Granger? You know, addiction to reading isn't necessarily healthy," he said, sitting down. She put down her book and glared at him.  
  
" I'm not addicted, Malfoy."  
  
" Oh yeah?" He said, searching in his bag. He got out his Prefect badge. He looked at her, his eyebrow raised, as if to challenge her. " Then try not reading for the rest of the way." She looked at him, then glared.  
  
"Fine," she snapped, and closed it, then put her book beside her. Draco smirked and tried to open the pin on the badge.  
  
" You need help, Malfoy?" she asked, looking over at him, seeing his trouble with the simple badge.  
  
" No," he said. But then the badge snapped open, and the needle pierced into his skin. " Damn!" he said, taking his finger away. He looked at it, and saw dark blood seeping through the wound.  
  
" Are you alright?" Hermione asked. But then she saw the blood on his finger. " Oh," she said.  
  
Draco wiped the blood on his robes, and put the badge on, without difficulty this time. He glared at his finger, and Hermione thought he almost looked adorable. " Blasted badge," he snarled. Hermione smiled, seeing the look on his face. His head snapped in her direction.  
  
" Would you mind telling me what's so funny, Granger?" he asked, sarcastically. His full attention was on her now, and she just smiled at him. Draco remembered that smile, from months ago. No matter how much he tried to erase it from his mind, try to forget it, it was burned in his mind.  
  
" Whoever said I was laughing, Malfoy?" she said. Malfoy opened his mouth to reply, but they had noticed the train had stopped. Hermione rushed to the window, and say that they had definitely stopped. She smiled, excited, and looked at Malfoy. He was just looking at her, trying to figure out why she was so excited each year. Hogwarts wasn't such a great place. She turned to walk out the room, then she stopped. She looked back, at Draco. Draco raised his eyebrows, eager to hear what the pretty girl had to say.  
  
" See you later, Malfoy," she said, then walked out. Malfoy smiled, a real smile, as he looked out the open door. He shook his head, as he got up and grabbed his bag. Hermione was a strange girl, she was. But he couldn't help but feel that strange-ness appeal to him, bringing him closer. Although he resisted it, he found himself in a trance sometimes. He chuckled, lightly, as he walked out, the odd brown haired girl still on his mind. 


	4. Unfamiliar Emotion

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: don't own characters, or the song. Just the plot.  
  
88888888888888888888888888888888888888888  
  
Unfamiliar Emotion  
  
Draco sat at the Slytherin table, uninterested in the first years and what house they were going to be in. He honestly didn't know why people watched the bloody thing; it wasn't exciting whatsoever. And really, who would care about the bloody first years? Draco sighed; they still had thirty or more students to go. He was already bored out of his mind. He let his eyes trail through the tables; he recognized some of the Ravenklauws, none of the HufflePuffs. Just then his eyes trailed to the Gryffindor table, landing specifically on the brown-eyed girl. Draco raised his eyebrows; that was strange. His eyes just immediately landed on her. But he watched her, nonetheless. He watched her watch the sorting of the first years, and her applaud each time a student got called into a house. She looked happy, her brown eyes twinkling as before, when she had left the compartment, uttering those strange words to him. Just then someone leaned over to her, a raven-haired boy. He froze. The boy whispered something to her, and she laughed. He could almost hear her graceful laughter ringing in his ears. The boy pulled back, and Draco glared at him; it was Saint Potter. Draco could feel all the hate and anger coming back, but this time there was one emotion that he didn't recognize, one that was unfamiliar, yet, he felt it even stronger each time Potter talked to her, laughed with her. But he looked away, trying to erase his thoughts about the girl.  
  
Finally, when the sorting was over, the headmaster made an announcement, and the feast started.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Draco walked to his Prefect room; Professor McGonagall had talked to him about it earlier, and told him he would have to share the common room and bathroom with another fellow Prefect, for the four rooms were adjoined. Draco walked through the drack corridors, wondering who the other Prefect was to be. A girl popped up in his head; Hermione Granger. He felt this weird feeling in his stomach, as if it were doing cartwheels, but he just dismissed it as a reaction from something he ate. But as much as he tried not to, he thought more about the brown haired girl. If he were to share a common room with her.. Surely it wouldn't be so bad, right? Hermione wasn't the kind of girl to be pestering him every night, telling him about the monsters under her bed, though the thought amused him. She was more of the quiet, smart, studious kind. And he couldn't feel anything but relieved; he was glad, somehow, that she was different. Finally he reached his room, and he said the password. He walked inside, and he had a smirk on his face; now this was how he was used to living to.  
  
There was a big luxurious bed, in green sheets, for it was a Slytherin color, and the room as huge. He walked around, touching the fabric, and smirking everytime he liked something. After he got bored with his surrounding, he walked into the common room. He decided he liked the common room more than his room. The common room was twice as big, a fireplace, a study desk. It was painted a rich deep maroon, and he decided it wasn't so bad, although it was awfully close to the Gryffindor color. Just then the door on the opposite side of the room opened, and Draco was met with the sight of his new Prefect roommate.  
  
Hermione Granger stood there, admiring the common room. Just then she noticed a tall figure standing there, watching her. She raised her gaze, and she saw that it was Draco Malfoy. She felt her heart sink, but then she felt her stomach do a.. Some sort of flip. They looked into each other's eyes; his deep silver eyes boring into hers, as her chocolate brown eyes, he felt, seemed to be melting his insides. Draco recognized her eyes, of course. It was burned in his mind, ever since the last day of fifth year. But somehow, it was different, staring into them now. They had much more emotion, and there seemed to be something there, like a thick haze that he seemed to not see through. But then, as if reality had finally crashed down on him, he smirked, although it was a bit harder this time. He felt a sort of sinking feeling in his stomach as he broke their gaze, breaking that unusual, but somehow welcoming moment between them.  
  
" Well, Granger.." he said, his eyes twinkling. " We meet again." Hermione just stared at him, before she spoke.  
  
" Yes, It seems so, Malfoy," she said, with no emotion. She walked closer, observing the common room, looking at the pictures on the wall. But she felt, it was hard to focus, as Malfoy was still there, silent, watching her. Draco watched her, as she looked up at the pictures, and touched the wooden study desk. It was wide enough to seat four students, but he couldn't help but see a faint smile spread across her features. He felt his heart jump, and he felt strange. 'Why did it do that?' he asked himself, feeling odd. It had never jumped that way before, not once. But he returned his gaze to the brown haired girl, as he felt.. Like he was in a trance. He couldn't help but feel a warm feeling spread through him, seeing her smile like that. About a table, and a room. He smiled, amused. She smiled like a girl being bought the pair of diamond earrings she had wanted, and yet.. She was.. Smiling, about simple stuff like tables, and rooms. Draco felt his smile widen; he had never seen a girl do that before, and somehow, he felt.. Granger was really so different, so strange. Yet, it appealed to him, as strange as it was. Just then she looked up, her eyes staring into his again.  
  
" This is great," she said, though Draco didn't know if she was talking to him, or to herself. But before he could stop himself, he answered.  
  
" Yeah, it is," he smiled. " It beats those tables at the library," he smiled. He didn't know why he did that, but soon that thought vanished as he saw her smile widen. Draco thought she really did look pretty when she was smiling. But then he noticed she even looked pretty when she wasn't smiling. 'At least she can smile,' he thought to himself. ' Some girls can't even smile, with all those pounds of make up they have on their face.' She stood there, admiring everything around her, taking one last look around. Then she looked up at Draco, and he felt his heart jump, again, as if a crackle of electricity was sent through his veins. She was smiling again.  
  
" I'm going to head to bed," she said to him, and Draco found he couldn't say anything. " Good night, Malfoy," she smield at him, then went back to her room. Draco stood there, staring at her door. What was this? What were these little jumps his heart kept doing? It annoyed the hell out of him, honestly. It bugged him even more that he didn't know what caused it, or why. Finally, he sighed and ran a hand through his silky hair, and went back into his own room.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
He stared up at the ceiling, still thinking about the girl a room away from him. What was it about her that kept him thinking about her, keeping him awake at night? She was a mudblood, for pete's sakes. But even as he said that, he felt his heart buckle, as if there was an immense pressure being pressed against it. And, it sounded forced, to his ears. What was it about that girl? Why was it she gave him that feeling everytime she looked at him, even smiled. It was all so unfamiliar; he had never felt that before. It was confusing him, making him think about it, about her, more than enough. He even saw her in his dreams.  
  
But somehow, as he shut his eyes, and swallowed hard, he didn't mind. Somewhere, even deeper than his pride, he liked to see her in his dreams, he longed to see her in his dreams. He didn't mind falling asleep, her brown eyes and her genuine smile burned in his mind.  
  
If this was called going crazy, he honestly did not know. 


	5. Firelight

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: No.. I don't own Hermione or Draco or even Harry.. Do you even have to ask?  
  
88888888888888888888888888888888888888  
  
Firelight  
  
Hermione sat beside Harry, at breakfast. Hermione couldn't help but smile when Ron started complaining about their essay for transfiguration.  
  
"Sixteen inches! I swear that old bat has gone off her rocker!" Hermione chuckled lightly.  
  
"Ron.. It would be easy if you paid attention in class," she said, taking a bite of her pancake.  
  
"It doesn't even matter if I DID pay attention, I still wouldn't be able to do the bloody essay," he said to her. Harry chuckled beside her, and she smiled at him, warmly.  
  
"Ron, just do it, would you? A little enthusiasm or less grumbling and complaining wouldn't hurt."  
  
"That's easy for you to say," he muttered under his breath. Hermione glared at him. She felt a slight pressure on her shoulder, and she turned to see Harry grinning at her, his hand on her shoulder.  
  
"A little enthusiasm for any class at all would kill Ron's whole personality, don't you think," he grinned at her. Harry leaned in and tucked a stray curl behind her ear. Hermione smiled at him, faintly.  
  
"We've got you for the enthusiasm, anyway."  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Draco watched from the Slytherin table, observing the brown haired girl. She was laughing happily, so carefree when she was with her blasted friends. Draco felt his anger boil as Potter leaned over and tucked a stray curl behind her ear. She smiled at him, and Draco felt it boil even more. But a part of him wondered how he would feel when she was like that with him, laughing happily and letting him touch her wavy hair. He couldn't see it in his mind, and his heart sank. Malfoys didn't belong with mudbloods like her. But he wished it didn't have to be that way. Draco looked down at his plate, glaring. Bloody Potter. Why did he get to have everything? Surely he's done some 'uncivilized' deeds. No one could be that bloody perfect all the time. The people who seemed that way always turned out to be a fake. Draco looked up again, his eyes drawn to Hermione. He sighed, feeling those butterflies in his stomach erupt and bounce off his insides, in a frenzy. What was it about her anyway? Why was he getting so irritable when Potter came close to her, or laughed with her? Why would he care about a filthy mudblood like her anyway?  
  
" She's nothing but a bloody mudblood fawning over Saint Potter," he snarled to himself, stabbing at his food. But even as though, he couldn't feel but a twinge of guilt at his words. What was this? This was absolutely ridiculous, and it was driving him mad. Part of him was confused and angry. The other part was curious about this 'feeling' that he seemed to be getting a lot lately. Too bloody much, as a matter of fact. This 'feeling' or whatever the hell it was, was so unfamiliar it was starting to scare him. He had to find out before he let himself fall into it, and not be able to get up and on his feet again.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Hermione stumbled into the common room, and halted when she saw that Draco was there. He was reading quietly, the fire in the fireplace providing but little lazy light. The firelight danced across his face, as did the shadows, making him seem so still and unemotional. His hair was wet and slicked back, but she could see the almost white shine of it from the light. She walked quietly, trying to just get to other armchair without attracting his attention. Draco watched Hermione from the corner of his eyes; apparently the confusing and flickering light had hidden his eyes. He was glad she couldn't see that he was watching her. He watched her as she sat down quietly, only making the faintest and softest sound. He observed her, as she watched him, still unknown to her that he was watching her, and then looked around the room. She relaxed slightly, as he saw her shoulders slightly slouch. He observed her as she got out the thin red book she had been holding, and her eyes follow each line. He saw her eyes darting, gracefully but with great speed. He felt as if the fire had crept into his heart, as she saw the edges of her mouth tug into a faint smile. He felt the glowing warmth spread through him, and he could almost feel it melting his insides. He put down his book, and watched her more closely. He willed himself to stop, for of course what would be so fascinating about a stupid know it all muggle born? But he found it was greatly difficult, as he tried to focus back on his book, or anything else in the room, for that matter, but he couldn't. They seemed to be glued to the girl. Draco parted his lips to speak, trying to find out what was so funny about that little red book of hers.  
  
" Care to share what's so amusing in your little book, Granger?" he drawled. She looked up at him, raising her eyebrow. And Draco smirked as he couldn't help but think that was quite sexy.  
  
Hermione was quite shocked at his words to her, considering he was the on who spoke first. But she sighed, as she knew she had to get used to that soon, if she was to be sharing this common room with him. Hermione looked back at her book, uncertain. " It's about a boy, who's trying rather ridiculous acts to try to impress the girl he's smitten with."  
  
Draco raised an eyebrow. " Like what? Juggle cannonballs or some foolish muggle thing like that?"  
  
Hermione chuckled; did he know what he just said? " No," she said. " More like.. Well, he's tried to stand while riding a horse, for he overheard her talking with one of her ladies in waiting that she had never seen anyone do that before. And, well, let's just say that he wasn't able to walk out after the incident."  
  
Draco smiled, and shook his head. " Muggles," he chuckled. " I don't honestly know where you get such ideas as those.. And to have them published into books and have them to be put out for the public to read should be illegal." Hermione smiled, amused and not offended. She had to agree with him; some books out there should have never been put out there. But it felt weird agreeing with him on something. What felt even stranger were those butterflies in her stomach when he smiled. And the way Hermione felt as if someone had been blowing bubbles into her stomach, and they were now bouncing off her insides, when he laughed. She could still hear the faint echo of his ringing laughter, and she couldn't help but wish she could make him laugh some more. Draco smiled at her, and she could feel her heart skip a beat. His silver dark eyes were dancing from the flickering light, and they seemed much more softer, less cold and cruel. She found she couldn't look away from them.  
  
" So, tell me about the girl the fool's trying to impress," Draco smiled at her. Hermione felt her a breath catch in her throat.  
  
" Well," she sighed, trying to get her normal breathing pattern back again. " There's not much to say. She's a princess, rather gorgeous, as they say in the book. And, well.. She only falls for pretty boys, and that pretty much bums him out." She looked up at him, and Draco felt her deep brown eyes pierce into him. He felt as if someone had poured warm acid down his throat, and it was now dissolving his insides.. It felt weird, warm and welcoming. He was puzzled at this, but he couldn't help but let that thought fade as he willed himself not to get lost in her eyes. Unfortunately, his will, apparently, was not strong enough.  
  
" But, besides that.. It seems his friend, Anna Margaret, is quite taken with him. In the text, every time she talks to him, her eyes are filled with adoration and the author says she looks crestfallen every time he mentions the princess. But.. The boy's too blind to see that," she said quietly, as she noticed Draco's eyes were staring right into her own. She felt her grip on the book suddenly weaken, and she felt a slight tingling emotion trace up her spine. She found it hard to swallow, and almost forgot to breathe, as she noticed how deep he seemed to be staring right into her own. His eyes were glimmering, still dark, half of his face shadowed by the dim and little light of the fire, but you could still see them, shining. They were like the glowing stars up in the midnight sky; you could not miss them. His lips were pressed into a soft line, and she could see that he was thinking about her. Just thinking that he could be thinking about her in anyway besides death wishes made something crackle through her veins, her nerves buzzing.  
  
Draco stared into her dark eyes; he just couldn't understand.. How did she manage to do this to him? How could he look straight into her eyes without feeling repulsed, or shuddering with disgust? He did feel something creep up his spine, making him feel warm and heated inside. But it was anything but disgust or repulsion. He was sure he hadn't felt anything like this before, and he would be right on the dot if he knew it was disgust. He had felt disgust for a numerous amount of people ever since he was born. But somehow, as he tried to dig deep inside, he could find the bottle of disgust and hostility that had her name on it. It seemed lost. He felt his heart pounding, louder and louder as each minute the world let pass. She was quiet, but he heard anything but quietness in his ears. There was a white noise, and it seemed to be telling him something, but he couldn't figure it out. Finally there was a loud crackle from the fireplace, and it seemed to throw them back out from their trance. Hermione looked down, cheeks flushed and she seemed flustered, off guard. Draco just looked at her; her hair seemed lighter, as the strands appeared to have trapped the glowing bits of light in them. She licked her lips, nervously, and she began fiddling with her book, flipping through the pages, as if trying to find something.  
  
Draco was mesmerized as he saw her pink tongue move across her soft lips. Did she have any idea what she was doing to him?  
  
"Tell me something, Granger, " he said, quite softly but audible. She looked up at him, her eyes glimmering with curiosity.  
  
"Why do you fill your time up with books, and homework? Wouldn't you prefer having something else to do?" He found that his tone was not harsh, but gentle and soft of friendly. He had to admit, he was quite curious; why was she always stuck here reading? Why wasn't she out checking out every guy that passed?.. And why did she make him feel this way? Draco's head was swarming with questions, far too many at a time. He watched her as she parted her mouth, as if to say something, but then closed it again. She noticed his eyes staring into hers again, and she looked down on her feet, trying to avoid his gaze. She didn't know how to answer his question, let alone what to say. She rather much enjoyed reading, and doing homework. But lately, she had been feeling lonely. A loneliness that neither Harry nor Ron could fill. She noticed it seemed to get bigger, and she felt as if the pit of her stomach got deeper when she saw a couple walk by, laughing and holding hands. She wanted something special like that. She wanted to be in something special, to feel special. She looked away, to the fire. The flames were strong, but still lazy and providing little light. It crackled and sent sparks up into the air. She watched them vanish, the darkness strangling the light. She swallowed hard, and tried hard to think of an answer, but it was difficult. Draco eyes were piercing right through her; she knew he saw right through her as if her emotional shield was transparent.  
  
Draco watched her, as she was silent. Had he hurt her? He had seemed to, as she looked to her feet, then to the playful lazy fire.. Everywhere but his gaze. She was wringing her hands, and Draco knew she was trying to think hard. Had he insulted her in some way? But he guessed.. No one else had asked her this before. No one had questioned her daily activities or trips to the library. Until now. Draco saw sadness in her eyes, though she looked down. Even with the firelight dancing and flittering, he could see how dark and solemn they were. He looked at her, with worry in his eyes.  
  
" I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that," he said. " It was none of my business." Hermione looked up at him, but the emotion in them did not disappear. He felt as if his heart was being hammered against. Hermione sighed; she couldn't stay here. It was so intense, the tension between them. He had not said a mere cruel remark to her, and it seemed too odd. She closed her book, her fingers slightly shaking. She looked at the fire, and wondered how it seemed to have gotten so much colder in the room some seconds ago. She tried to swallow, but it was hard knowing his eyes were still on her. She felt as if she couldn't breathe, couldn't make a single move when she knew he was watching her. And looking into his eyes, she might as well have forgotten about breathing at all. She stood up, and looked at him. Draco stared at her, half of her face hidden by the shadows. But, somehow, he felt as if a breath had been caught in his throat. His heart was pounding, as she stared at him for mere seconds. For Draco, it seemed like an eternity. Although eternity felt as if it wasn't long enough.  
  
She sighed, but it came out in ragged breaths. "Goodnight Malfoy," she said to him, her voice shaky but still firm. She looked at him one last time, and walked out of the room. But before she was able to turn the knob on her door, she heard his answer.  
  
It was soft, not strong or cruel. But she still heard it. And she knew it would be ringing in her ears until the next day.  
  
"Goodnight Granger."  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Draco lay in his warm satin sheets, staring up at his ceiling. Unfortunately the brown haired girl still plagued his thoughts and invaded his dreams. It had just become stronger when he came back to Hogwarts. He closed his eyes tightly, frustrated. His mind kept wandering back to her, although he forced them to stay at another subject. He still heard her graceful laugh ringing in his ears, and her brown eyes in the darkness. The shadows hadn't managed to overshadow them, or cloud them. They were still as he remembered; deep, dark and hypnotizing. Just thinking about it made a wave of warmth spread through him, from his toes to the tips of his hair. He couldn't help but see her face in his mind, all the many times he had seen her. Last year, on the last day at the train. On the first day, sharing a compartment with her. And now, in the common room, just only about two hours ago. He still remembered her brown hair, which seemed as if they were lighter, her strands trapping in the little light. Her brown eyes, sparkling. The corners of her mouth stretched into a smile. Draco's heart stopped as he saw it in his mind. He groaned, frustrated. Why was he thinking this way about her? How did she manage to make him feel this way? How did he trap him into those deep eyes of hers? How did she make his heart skip or stop when he saw her? How did she have the ability to make him stop breathing? Draco let out a ragged sigh, as he brought up his hand and ran them through his silky hair. Her smile, her eyes, everything about her.. They were carved into his mind. He couldn't help but see her, dream about her. Think about her. He was going crazy, he just had to be.  
  
Especially when he admitted aloud that she just had to have one of the most beautiful smiles he had ever seen. And her eyes.. Draco knew this was going to be a long night.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
'Digging deep,  
  
I feel my conscience burn  
  
I need to know who and what I am  
  
This hunger jolts me from complacency..'  
  
-Kendall Payne 'Closer to Myself'  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Alright.. So I said it was a love triangle.. I think my 'love triangle' thirst has been quenched, though, from Silver Eyes Restless Sleep.. So, I wanna make it simpler for Draco. Or, well.. There are going to be some problems, I tell you.. But I'll see if I still want to make this a love triangle story.. What'd you guys think? I don't think I did such a good job.. But I'm trying.. maybe next chap will be better.  
  
-tearsofher 


	6. Unexplainable Warmth

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: don't own Draco or Hermione or any of the characters.. Just the plot..  
  
888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888  
  
Unexplainable Warmth  
  
Hermione sat beside the window, staring outside. Today was the start of the first weekend since they had started school, and she felt as if she had nothing to do. Ron and Harry were going to practice with their brooms outside today, and well.. She didn't feel like watching them. Although, it was rather tempting to go outside and breathe in the fresh air. The skies were clear and blue; the breeze was soft but refreshing. But she sighed, as she pulled it shut. She felt so out of place, sometimes. Ron and Harry would always go on and on about quidditch, and sometimes they would even forget she was there. She would look at them with hurt eyes, but when they would ask her what was wrong, she told them it was nothing. They were always far too blind to see that she was lying, or what she truly felt. She took a deep breath, and headed for the bathroom.  
  
Hermione dressed in a simple blouse and skirt, as she grabbed her book bag. As always, she was going to the library. She walked down the empty corridor, her footsteps echoing off the walls. She could hear voices, and laughter, but she looked down. The floor was shiny, and she could almost see her reflection in them. Sad and drained. She entered the library, and went to the tall shelves. Somehow she seemed to think she would find solace in the pages of the books, getting lost in every word she read. It had seemed so easy in her earlier years. But now her thirst for knowledge was strained, and she was aware of everything else around her, besides her schoolwork. She picked out a blue book, and opened it. She could feel her throat tighten, as she tried to read the words, but they became unfocused and unclear, as she could feel tears fill her eyes. She hastily wiped away her tears on her sleeve, and shoved the book back. She willed her tears to stop; she felt as if she had no reason to cry. So why was she? Why was she crying, letting these tears escape? So what if she felt alone sometimes? Millions of people, she was sure, felt like that every single day. She shouted at herself, mentally, but she slid against the bookshelf, sitting on the floor. She stared up at the tall shelves that had seemed to always make her happy before. What had happened? Why was she like this? She could never be into quidditch like Harry and Ron.. She knew her heart just wasn't into it, and it was never going to be. She enjoyed reading, and studying, but she could almost hear people snort at her whenever she raised her hand to answer a question. She let out a ragged breath. She was tired of being known as a know it all. She was tired of hearing Harry and Ron ask her to help them with their assignments, then going out and leaving her there to do it all by herself.  
  
She had never told anyone. Why she covered herself with books, always done with her homework three weeks before they were overdue. It was her insecurities, her fears and thoughts. They had driven her to this, up to her neck with books, sad. She shut her eyes tightly, and sighed. Her eyes were aching, and they felt as if all the moisture had been sucked out of them. She hadn't gotten as much sleep, these past nights. They were often plagued with thoughts about the boy a room away from her, and the way he looked into her eyes. It seemed as if he looked deep inside her, seeing all her thoughts and reading all her feelings. And how his attitude had changed towards her.. He seemed friendly, and 'mudblood' seemed to be out of his vocabulary ever since they had gotten off the train. Which, if you can imagine, was quite shocking. She had the feeling there was something different in him, as if something in him was shifting and changing. She didn't know if he knew it or not, or if he was doing it on purpose, but it seemed to warm her heart whenever she saw him.  
  
And somehow, as weird as it was, he filled in that void that she had. Being in that same room, the other night.. Her fears and negative thoughts were pushed away, and they disappeared. Ron and Harry could never do that to her, as close as they were.  
  
He seemed to dissolve all her pessimistic thoughts about him in the past, and every time he looked into her eyes, she became flustered.. She could almost remember that eruption of the hyperactive butterflies inside her stomach. She didn't quite know what it was, but something inside told her that she would find out. If not soon. Just then, she felt warm breaths on her skin.  
  
"Granger? You alright?" Hermione's eyes bolted open, and she found herself staring into those all too familiar silver eyes of his. She felt her heart stop for but a second. Draco was looking at her, knee down on the floor. Her eyes were red, and they seemed glossy. He knew she had been crying. He felt something inside cry out, telling him to ask her why, or even to wrap his arms around her..  
  
"I-Uh, I'm fine, Malfoy," she said. She noticed the closeness between them, and she could feel his soft breaths on her skin. She could it feel a burning tingle wherever it lay. Draco looked at her, and she thought she could see a hint of worry in his dark cloudy eyes. He searched her eyes; trying to find something, a reason maybe, to as why she had been crying. She looked troubled, and sad. If only he could just open his mouth and ask her why.. Then maybe this slight strain on his heart would ease.  
  
Hermione could feel her heart pounding in her chest, blood rushing in her ears, as Draco remained still so close to her. She could feel her body getting warm, and she felt as if her throat was closing up. She couldn't swallow. Draco felt hypnotized, mesmerized. He was aware of their closeness, yes, but he couldn't help but to want to stay this way. He didn't want to pull away. He was drawn to her, somehow; the warmth he often found in her eyes was pulling him to her, and he could feel his body and heart screaming at him, telling him to comfort her, somehow. But he pulled back. He was a Malfoy; and as he said that to himself, stating that was the reason, he felt a twinge of pain weighing down on his heart. Because that was a lie. There was something holding him back, but it wasn't his name or pride. Maybe it was fear; he was scared of wanting to be near her, wanting to wrap his arms around her. He was scared of longing to whisper comforting words into her ear, and wipe those tears away. He swallowed hard, and finally stood up, and walking back until his back was pressed against the bookshelf. He looked at her, as she stared back at him. He felt as if all of a sudden the air had become cold again, and he knew it was because that she was no longer near him. But she gave him a different kind of warmth. It was the kind of warmth not even the sun could dream of giving. It was the kind of warmth that seemed to melt everything inside him, made him lightheaded, but filled his soul like a stream of holy water.  
  
He recognized it. He knew what it was. It was the kind of warmth only Hermione Granger could give him.  
  
"What are you doing here, Granger?" he asked her, quietly. He could see something cloud her eyes, as she looked away. She was still sitting on the floor, and she urged herself to get up, but she felt as if she were frozen stiff.  
  
"I needed to get a book," she said to him, firmly but he heard the shakiness in her voice.  
  
"Are you alright?" He asked her, again, his voice still soft and gentle. She looked up at him, as she struggled to get up, her hands hanging on to the shelves.  
  
"I'm just fine," she said again. But Draco could see right through her lie. He knew she knew it too. Although, he just nodded at her, never looking down or away.  
  
"I just," she sighed. " I just needed, a break, that's all," she said. Her words, she felt, were heavy on her heart. She could see his piercing eyes see right through her lies, but she couldn't tell him the truth. He looked at her, his gaze unwavering. He was wishing he could bore into her so much that she would break down that stubborn barrier she had, and tell him. But she could see she wasn't going to give in. He had to ask if he wanted to know. He could see in her eyes that she wanted him to ask her, but at the same time begging him not to.  
  
"We both know that's only part of the truth, Granger. And I don't settle for half of anything," he said to her, calmly. He was standing tall, but he could feel his heart pounding harder and harder, his conscience screaming at him.. Her gaze seemed to be breaking down everything inside him.. He saw the hurt and pain in her chocolate eyes, and he could feel his heart buckle. He wasn't used to seeing her this way.. He had always seen her happily laughing along with her friends, and only slightly angry when he used to torment them. But.. Even with the words he had said to her in the past, they had never hurt her. Not like this. He could see she tried to hide it as much as she could, and kept it bottled up inside for too long. His hands were shaking at his side, they urged to touch her, to reach out to her.. Wipe away those tears, caress her smooth face.. His body's reactions and urges were driving him crazy.. He couldn't breathe, and he felt his teeth gritting inside his mouth. What was she doing to him? He realized this was what was triggering his anger; it was the unfamiliarity of his reactions to her, his feelings. He wanted it to go away, but he couldn't let it leave. He felt his anger boil, and his nails were digging into his skin, in his clenched fists.  
  
"Answer me, Granger," he whispered to her. Hermione didn't want to tell him.. Why was it his business anyway? It's not like he cared about her, or anything as much. Hermione glared at him, and felt anger rising in her. But she couldn't figure out why she was getting angry. Was she getting angry that he was telling her to speak the truth? Did it anger her that he could see right through her, when nobody else could?  
  
Or did it anger her that she knew that he couldn't possibly care about her?  
  
"Answer me," he said to her, firmly but she could hear strain through it. Hermione felt her eyes blaze with fury, as she tried to blink back the tears. She looked away, her hands clenched into fists. She could feel her fingernails digging into her flesh.  
  
"I'm leaving, Malfoy," she said, as she started to walk away. But Draco was faster, and grabbed her by the shoulders. Hermione gave out a strangled cry, as his strong hands held her. His dark eyes were flashing, gleaming with anger and frustration. Hermione felt her heart beating in her chest, like it was going to stop jump out all of a sudden. Hermione looked into his eyes, and she couldn't figure out how he could possibly angry. Why was he angry? Why did he want to know? All these questions and assumptions were swarming through her mind, and she had to block them out. All the answers she wanted to be true were even farther from it. She let out a ragged breath; she was terrified.  
  
"I told you to answer me," he whispered to her, harshly and furious. Draco didn't know what he was doing, but he was blinded. By his own rage.. By her stubbornness.. By what he thought wasn't supposed to be. He wasn't supposed to be feeling this way about her. He wasn't supposed to care. He wasn't supposed to want to know why she was crying, so he could somehow find a way to comfort her.. He was supposed to hate her. She was a muggle born.  
  
He was supposed to hate her.  
  
He saw fear in her eyes, as he held her close. He could feel her warmth rushing to him, and he suddenly aware of how tightly he was grasping her. He suddenly became aware of how close they were, closer than before. But not close to her enough that he wanted to be. He softened his grasp, but didn't let her go. He saw her eyes become wet and glossy again, and he felt his heart fold. Had he hurt her? He let his hands open and he brought them down. He swallowed hard, as he brought his hands to her sleeve, and raised it up to where he had held her. Hermione had closed her eyes, and she felt as if she had stopped breathing altogether as she felt his warm hands on her shoulder, tracing the marks he had given to her. They were burning, and her shoulders ached, but she felt an icy hot sensation when Draco's fingers touched it, gently outlining it. She could feel her breathing get rapid, and tried her best to shallow it. There were butterflies in her stomach, and they seemed to be in hyper speed, bouncing off her insides.  
  
Draco felt his fingertips graze her skin, and he felt their smooth surface. He saw the red marks, and he knew she would have bruises.. And he couldn't help but let his breathing get heavier. What was he doing? What was happening to him? He raised his gaze to her face, and he saw that her eyes were tightly closed.. He looked down and he could see her slightly shaking. He let go of her, and her sleeve slid back down, but he didn't back away. He looked at her, and he could feel the anger drain from his eyes, and body.  
  
"I'm sorry," he whispered, and Hermione opened her eyes, slowly. She saw his eyes were dark and cloudy.. She saw regret, confusion.. Her shoulder was still tingling from where he had touched her, and she could feel the pit of her stomach caving in deeper. She swallowed hard. Draco looked at her, his thoughts were buzzing and his nerves were going crazy. His fingers felt as though they had been kissed with an eternal white fire.  
  
"The truth," Hermione whispered, her voice shaky. She looked down. "Isn't always what hurts someone. It's what they can't see, what you have to explain. Because they were too blind. That's what hurts, that's why I was crying.. There's your answer," she said, painfully. Draco felt his heart crumble little by little.  
  
Draco saw her solemn and hurt expression, and he knew there was nothing he could say. He couldn't even speak, even if he tried. She had answered him, and he understood all too well, but.. Was it enough? Was it enough to keep him from wondering about her? Was it enough to finally letting him fall into a deep slumber, without her tear-streaked face haunting him? Was it enough that he wouldn't think about this day, remember the hurt in her eyes that made him feel.. Guilty and sad? No. It wasn't enough. It would never be enough. Only she was enough, but he knew she was too far out of his reach. She would keep haunting him, every night always restless and straining.  
  
"I-" she whispered, she looked up at him. "I have to go," she said softly, and she walked past him, feeling a soft breeze cover him from her retreat. Hermione took one last glance at him, unmoving, before she closed the library doors.  
  
Draco stared down at his feet, feeling as if someone was stirring all these foreign and strange ingredients in his stomach. She had left and he could feel his heart's beating get softer and slower, but that didn't erase everything else. His fingers still burned pleasantly, and he still found it hard to breathe properly, at his pace. He felt the air surrounding him fall, making a shiver travel up his spine. It was cold, but this was not how it was when she was here. He sighed, as he ran his trembling fingers through his hair.  
  
Nothing was the same when she was here. And when she was gone.. He couldn't help but long to have her back here, with him. To feel that warmth, those butterflies, his heart beating rapidly. Sure, it drove him crazy, but it wasn't better when she wasn't here. He found himself missing her.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
well.. so what do you think? Its..erm.. well.. Draco's feelings are starting to show, and Hermione's confused.. and so is he.. I don't know when, or what will happen.. But I've got some ideas in my mind and I've jotted them down. I'm hoping this will be a good fanfic, just like SeRS (Silver eyes restless sleep), but if it's even better, then that's really great. Thanks to all the reviewers.. LeslieGlady, thanks for being so faithful, haha.. I appreciate all your reviews, and again, thank you. Until tomorrow..  
  
-tearsofher 


	7. While You Were Sleeping

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Hermione, Draco or any of the other characters.. Just the plot.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
authors note: okay, in my other story, I noticed that not very many people read my note on the bottom. (frown) that's okay.. but I think I'll just try to put it in the beginning of the story.. so you'll be FORCED to read it.. heheeheheh.. anyway, thanks to Lalita22 who reviewed, and everyone else!! On with the story,..  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
While you were Sleeping  
  
Hermione got up, her head throbbing and she felt as if her world was spinning. She sat back down on the bed, holding her head. Her vision swirled, and she felt as if she had been held underwater for far too long.. Her breathing was rapid but they had a hard time getting out. She remembered everything from last night.. Coming back here, and thinking about Draco.. She remembered letting a few tears slip, and asking herself how she had gotten herself into such a thing as this. Why had she been so weak in the library? Surely she could've waited until she had gotten back to her room? Hermione waited as her vision slowly constructed herself, and the ground stopped spinning. She let out a sigh, and hung on to the sheets, as if the ground was to swallow her up. She looked outside, and she saw that it was still quite dark. She shut her eyes, but the sleepiness that once overcame had disappeared.  
  
She was stuck being awake now.  
  
She collapsed back on the bed, letting the cotton underneath her tense her body. She was aching, from limb to limb. She had been tossing and turning all night, trying to avoid the thoughts her mind kept throwing at her. She opened them, slowly. She was too tired to study, or soak in any of what those dreadful textbooks said. She bit her lip, and decided to just take a bath. Baths always seemed to relax her. She grabbed her clothes and towel, and silently headed out. The common room was dark, and she heard not one noise, as she crept by. She paused for a second, and looked at Draco's door. She couldn't help but wonder if he had a good night's sleep, or had a rather bad one, just like her. She stared at the door, wondering if yesterday's events had troubled him also. She sighed, as she headed in the bathroom.  
  
She got in the tub, and felt her body relax immediately as her skin made contact with the hot water. She let out a sigh, as she closed her eyes. She tried to think about Harry, or Ron. Just anything else but the boy with the piercing eyes, as a matter of fact. But her mind disobeyed, and they always trailed back to the Draco. Hermione could feel a warmth creep inside her, deeper and further than the hot water could reach. She saw his dark eyes in her mind, and she suddenly forgot where she was. Not that it mattered anymore, of course. She could feel her hands lose their weight, as she remembered the anger and depth of his silver eyes. She remembered the feel of his hands grasping hard at her shoulders, and the gentleness of his fingers, as he raised her sleeve up, and traced her marks. She remembered the icy but hot warm feeling erupt in her stomach, and her spine tingling. She remembered feeling frozen. She remembered not wanting to be away from him, not wanting his touch to ever part from her skin. She remembered needing him, wanting him to wrap his arms around her.. To feel his strong toned arms around her.  
  
She remembered feeling angry and sad.. Because the notion of him needing her was ludicrous and impossible.  
  
She let out a long sigh, trying to rid of the heavy burden that lay upon her heart. But it only pushed it down further, adding more weight. A part of her was angry.. At herself. For feeling this was about him, for being angry because.. Because he couldn't possibly want to be with her as much as she wanted to be with him. She felt her heart crumble, and all she wanted to do was to look into his eyes again. She felt safe, almost, but everything seemed to disappear every time she looked into them. And God knows she just wanted to be away right now. She leaned back further in the tub, so that her neck, to her chin, was covered with the soothing fragrant bubbles. But her mind was troubled, and not even a bath such as this one, could quiet it. She wished it wasn't so difficult getting her mind off Draco, for she felt a twinge of pain, that seemed to be getting bigger and worse, every time she thought of him. But at the same time, she felt like there was the place she wanted to be. With him. She sighed. What she wouldn't give to be one of those shallow girls who only worried about make- up products, right about now.  
  
Hermione dried herself up, and put on a simple T-shirt and some flannel pants. She used a quick drying spell on her hair and put it in a ponytail. She quickly gathered up her stuff and walked out. When she got to her room, she remembered she had left her wand there, and slowly crept back. Mid way through the dark room, she heard a noise. Hermione froze. She heard shifting and rustling, and she turned towards the direction of the noise. It seemed to be coming from the couch. Hermione whispered the spell for the lights, and they immediately filled the room. She saw a dark clothed person on the couch, and she walked closer. She froze. It was Draco.  
  
He was asleep on the couch, his black cloak draped over him like a blanket. His hair was messy and tousled; some strands fell across his face. Hermione could feel her heart beating faster, as she walked over to him, and kneeled down, until her face and his were parallel. She felt a breath catch in her throat, as she saw his sleeping face, serene. He looked so gentle and calm, and his breathing was shallow and light. The sight of him seemed to dissolve everything inside of her. A strand had fallen over one of his eyes, and without thinking, she raised her hand and slicked it back. But her hands froze as her hand felt the softness of his hair. It was silky, like it looked.. She had the urge to run her hands through his silvery blonde hair. She looked at him with soft eyes. How did he manage to make her feel this way? Even when he was not even conscious. Just then, a small sigh escaped from Draco's lips, and she froze.  
  
His eyes opened, and he was met with the sight he had just been dreaming about. Hermione looked at him, her eyes wide with surprise. Their faces were so close that she could feel his breaths on her face, and she could see every little detail in his silver eyes. Again, she could not move. It seems she was caught in his trance again. Draco felt his breathing stop, as he searched her face, her eyes. They were so close.. Draco could feel his body warming up, as the restless butterflies returned.  
  
"Granger?" He whispered, almost not audible. Hermione finally got her tongue unglued from the roof of her mouth, and managed to whisper a reply.  
  
"Malfoy," she said, simply. Her voice was soft and gentle.. Draco recognized it, along with her smile, her eyes.. Why was she so bloody beautiful? Draco finally realized that her hand was in his hair, and he wished she would just run her hands through them, feel her touch. He could almost predict the feeling.. Burning.. As if she had lit a white, misty but powerful fire inside of him. He imagined how soft her fingers would feel on his skin, and he swallowed hard. He searched her eyes; but he could not read them. That saddened him, somehow. But he kept searching. She had to be feeling something right at this moment, she just had to..  
  
"I-" Hermione stammered. She quickly took her hand back, resting it on her knee. Draco felt his heart sink. She looked at him, bravely.  
  
"Why.. Are you here?" She asked him, quietly. Draco sighed, and sat up. He ran a hand through his messy hair. He remembered just being so tired.. But yet it was only a few hours ago he had managed to fall asleep. Hermione had invaded his dreams.. Just like always. But Draco, somehow, especially after the occurrence they had had between them.. He liked seeing her in his dreams, he did. But it hurt, and it pained him. For, he knew he would only be able to touch her, to hold her, to kiss her.. Only in his dreams. It was so far from reality, that it hurt. In the morning, he would remember the dream, and only sadness would greet him. Until he saw her.  
  
He looked at her, his silver piercing eyes still strong; there was no sign of tiredness. "I guess I was just too tired. I sat down here, and I fell asleep," he told her, in a quiet voice. Hermione nodded, but couldn't help but feel a twinge of hurt.  
  
So he had had a good sleep, while she was up all night thinking about him. Hermione looked away, and got up. Her fingers felt cold and clammy, as if she were dead. She didn't know why, but she couldn't give it much thought, as Draco's voice penetrated through all of them, scattering them all over the place.  
  
"I hope.. I didn't hurt you, did I?" Hermione looked up at him, and saw there was a fleck of worry in his eyes. Draco swallowed, and continued on.  
  
"I mean, yesterday, in the library.. I-I didn't.. I hope I hadn't bruised you," he whispered to her. Hermione smiled at him, faintly, because of his concern. But she still felt her shoulder stinging, and aching.. She had seen what his hands had done to her shoulder, as she was in the tub. There were dark spots, from where his fingers had dug in, but she remembered as she traced over them gently, with her soaked hand.. She had closed her eyes, and tried to remember the feeling that had crept, covered her when Draco's fingers slowly traced over the wound. She smiled at him, but it did not reach her eyes.  
  
"You didn't bruise me," she said quietly. She just didn't want to tell him that he had, and she didn't know why. Maybe she was scared of what he was going to do.. Because he was even more unpredictable now that.. Well, that he was being nice. She just didn't have any idea what he would do. She looked bravely into his eyes, but his gaze was boring into hers, searching for any sign of deny. She stared right at him, although she was fighting furiously hard not to look down.  
  
Draco looked into her deep brown eyes, and tried to see if she was lying.. He couldn't read her. There seemed to be a cloudy haze that she had put up; she knew what he was doing. She knew he could see right through her. Draco ran a hand through his hair, and looked down. He was searching his mind feverishly, trying to think of what he could say. He had to say something to keep her from leaving, to get her to stay.. But what?  
  
Hermione stared at Draco, longing in her eyes. He seemed to be thinking of something, or trying to think of something. She could feel her hands getting even colder, and she could almost feel a chill press against her back, trying to overtake the warmth he brought to her.  
  
Taking one last look at him, she opened her mouth and spoke softly.  
  
"I'm going to go. I'll see you later, Malfoy," she said to him, and walked past the couch. Draco looked up, and watched her as she started towards her room. Draco was panicking.. He had to say something! But what?! He had to have a reason! He heard the door open, then close. He sighed, as he mentally slapped himself. Why was he so nervous around her? He lay back down on the couch, the soft cushion underneath him molding against his back. He closed his eyes tightly, and tried to let the darkness take him back to the slumber he had once been in. But Hemrione's eyes were scarred there, and he couldn't erase them from his memory.  
  
He remembered when he had woken up, seeing her, so close.. Her eyes staring straight into his.. He remembered her scent; warm vanilla.. Her hand had been in his hair.. Being so close to her had sent his heart into a seizure, and the butterflies and flips in his stomach into double time. He smiled faintly, as he let the pressure from his eyes rest.  
  
"My God," he whispered to himself, smiling.  
  
"Why does she have to be so beautiful?" 


	8. Change

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own characters, just the plot.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
author's note; Thanks to all who reviewed the other chapter.. I really really really appreciate it.. It's what motivates me to write chapters better and quicker, haha. So, if you want me to keep writing.. REVIEW!! Heeheehee. Thanks. and since I'm feeling so nice, I updated another chapter after this.. so read on!  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Change  
  
Draco sat in class, bored out of his mind. The professor's mouth was moving, yes.. But her words were muffled, and he didn't bother trying to figure out what she was saying. He was too busy staring at the brown haired girl across one row ahead of him. He saw her, listening attentively, biting her lips sometimes, then looking down. She seemed to be deep in thought about something, but it couldn't be about the wizards or whatever the professor was talking about. He saw her eyes get this far away look sometimes, as if in a daze, then come back in focus, and nod at what the professor was saying. He longed to be by her side, instead of blasted Potter and Weasely. He glared at the boys, and Harry turned, as if sensing the hatred rising in Draco that was directed at Harry. Harry glared at him also, his green eyes flashing. Draco scowled.  
  
Draco hated him for many reasons, yes. But there was one particular reason, now, that seemed to overshadow everything else. He had observed their conversations, watching across the room. He remembered Potter and Weasely talking animatedly about God knows what, probably quidditch, but then his eyes dawned on the brown eyed girl standing beside them. Draco remembered the solemn and hurt look in her eyes; she was looking at her two friends so sadly. Draco could see it in his mind, and he felt his anger boil. As the professor shifted in the room, Harry gave Draco one last glare, and turned to the Professor. Draco let his eyes burn into the back of his robe.  
  
He knew what she was feeling, and it infuriated him that they couldn't see it, or even notice it. She was just standing there, with her two friends, and they acted as if she wasn't there. She felt invisible, and it was hurting her. He had watched them further, and not once, had they uttered a word to Hermione. Honestly! Quidditch was great, it was. But it wasn't that great. It was nothing compared to the pretty girl they stood beside. Draco had always thought of them as foolish, idiotic boys who Dumbledore favored, but now he thought of them as even stupider, blind little pricks. He hated them; they couldn't see what they were doing to her. They were too blind. And here he was, seeing every single flicker of emotion in her eyes, and he wasn't even friends with her. He hadn't known her, on friendly terms, for as long as those two idiots have, and he could easily see it when she was lying, or hurt. To sum it all up, Potter and Weasely didn't deserve her. She deserved so much better. He didn't think that she just saw it yet.  
  
Class ended, and Draco packed up his quill and parchments, and headed out the door. Hermione was about a couple of long strides in front of him, and she was alone. He wasn't used to seeing her without her two friends, but took this to his advantage. He summed up all his courage, and walked over to her.  
  
"Granger," he said, as he caught up beside her. Hermione looked at him, curious as to why he was speaking to her, but she could feel her heart warming up.. It was if she had an internal fever.  
  
"Malfoy," she said simply, looking at him. She smiled at him, and Draco couldn't help but smile back at her. Her smile was so stunning, so natural, yet it was odd to see that something so beautiful could be natural. He could feel his heart beating harder, and his stomach released its little winged insects. He felt so tense, so nervous around her, as if he'd just die if he did the wrong thing. But he never wanted to be away from her. He didn't want to feel the absence of her presence, feel his heart and the air becoming cold again.  
  
"Where's your little friends?" he asked her, in a slight sarcastic tone. Hermione looked ahead, seeing all the other students laughing and talking with their friends. They were all heading to the Great Hall for lunch; Ron and Harry had taken off without telling her where they were going. She had felt a slight ache and strain on her heart, but she watched them go off, without saying a word. Was she.. So invisible to them? It was so odd, and confusing. One day, Harry was smiling and laughing at her, then.. She was no longer there. He had entered some fog, and they had blanketed her, blocking her from his sight. Thinking about it, she felt the tears reviving from behind her eyes, but she blinked them back. Draco was still here.  
  
"I don't know," she answered quietly, and Draco could see that he had stuck her hard with his question, again. He seemed to be doing that quite a lot when he was speaking to her. He could see her eyes becoming glossy, but she blinked furiously, and stared ahead. Hermione felt like her heart had been fought on, and was left in ruins.  
  
"What about you? I'm sure you've got better things to do than to talk to me," she said to him, and he could hear a bit of anger in her voice. "Wouldn't want to be caught speaking to a mudblood," she muttered, but draco heard, and he felt a bit hurt at her words. Although, that was quite expected. He wasn't the exact gentleman to her these past years at Hogwarts. He was different, though. Couldn't she see that? Of course not, he thought. It wasn't such a surprise, but somehow he thought she had. He had seen the look in her eyes, as she looked at him, or talked to him. He was even certain for a second she had known. He guessed he was wrong.  
  
He didn't answer her question, but did say something. "Not used to seeing you without your usual barricade of bodyguards, is all." Hermione sighed, and adjusted her book bag.  
  
"It happens quite often, really. I'm sure you would've seen, I thought you would've come and torment me with your usual remarks," she said. Draco looked at her, puzzled. Hermione avoided his eyes, as she looked ahead. She knew this wasn't fair, that he hadn't done anything to her. But she couldn't help it. All these feelings he gave her had erupted inside of her again, and he was speaking to her in public.. She looked around. It was deserted. She scolded herself, mentally; so this was the reason he was talking to her. He had noticed everyone had gone. She could feel her throat closing up, her chest tightening. Why did it hurt so much when she had already been expecting it?  
  
Draco froze, and he had grabbed her arm. Hermione stumbled back, startled. He looked into her eyes, trying to tell her. She tried to look away, but couldn't. Somehow he had managed to catch her again.  
  
"Hermione.." Hermione's heart froze. Did he just say her name? She couldn't believe her ears. It sounded so surreal, so different. She had never heard him say her name, and she was sure he had never, but his face was serious, and his eyes were dark. His silver eyes pierced into her soul, and her grasp on her book bag weakened.  
  
"I've changed, for better or worse," he heard himself say. He didn't know where that had come from, but he realized it was what he wanted to say, longed to say. Now she just had to see; he had just pointed it out to her. She looked at him, her eyes deep and bottomless. Hermione responded, in a whisper, for she felt as if her voice would fail her if she spoke any louder. Draco always had this affect on her; her knees felt weak, so did every other part of her. His eyes penetrated right through her, and she just couldn't take it. How could he do this to her? He barely knew her, yet he seemed to see everything else Ron and Harry could not see. Not that they bothered, of course. But.. Was Draco trying to see? Or he just.. Did? It confused and frustrated her.. Too many questions, that she was just too afraid to admit to or ask. So many questions that she knew would never be answered. And the few that would, would break her heart. These kinds of things always seemed to let her down.  
  
"I know," she whispered back to him. He smiled at her faintly, and she looked at him one last time, her heart feeling as if it was leaping out to meet him. He let go of her arm, the warmth he held in his hands disappearing.  
  
She walked down the hall, leaving Draco to stare after her. 


	9. Dancing Shadows

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: don't own characters, just the plot.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
okay, so Hermione knows Draco has changed, well, she has been.. But it was the first time he pointed it out to her.. So, on with! I think it's safe to tell you that there's a little (well, not really) surprise at the end of this chapter.. All I can say is that, it's about time!  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Dancing Shadows  
  
Hermione sat on the red armchair, the fire once again so playful. She read only by the firelight, even if the words were hard to read, and it was bad for her eyes. She liked how it was. It was quiet, only with the crackles and sparks coming from the fireplace once in a while. She had been reading her little red book again, but she had only turned about two pages in an hour. Her mind wasn't focused on the book, and it was persisting to think about the silver-eyed boy. Hermione was frustrated, but couldn't help but let her mind drift away, trailing back to Draco. She felt as if the fire had gotten bigger, filling the room, as she remembered how he had grasped her arm, and said those words to her. His eyes hid nothing; there was no deny in a single fleck of his eyes. She had noticed he had changed, of course.. But also did her feelings for him. There was no doubt she was scared. She had fallen for him. Draco Malfoy. Even admitting it in her mind was frustrating and forceful, although she knew it was the truth.  
  
She knew only disappointment could only be gotten from 'this'. She could already feel her heart folding, crumbling piece by piece. Every time he was around her, spoke to her, looked into her eyes, it was killing her. But she never wanted to be away from him. It murdered her to be far from him. It was so odd and strange; she couldn't help but groan, thinking about it. She stared at his door, which was only four long strides away from her. He wasn't there, she knew, but she wished he was. She wished he would come out and talk to her. She wished he would just come out, and let her stare into his eyes. For she knew it was there she saw eternity. And it was the eternity she wanted to be in. It was the eternity she longed to live in, the eternity that seemed so surreal. The eternity you could only dream of. It was weird that she saw it in his eyes, out of all the people. It scared her, angered her, frustrated her. But she thought it couldn't be found in a better person. She sighed.  
  
She closed her book, and set it beside her. She watched the dancing flames, playing and chasing the shadows. She felt her hands getting cold, and clammy, as before. It was if the fire didn't bring out any heat, and she looked down. She remembered that night, just like this one, where she was reading this same book, but Draco was here. She remembered him watching her, and her watching him. He had looked so handsome, so unreal, when the shadows played across his flawless face. His eyes were hidden by the shadows, and it would've fooled anyone. But she saw the glimmer of them, and she could never miss them. His eyes, she sighed, looking back up at the bright but lazy flames. His eyes always put her in a trance. That trance that engulfed her, trapped her in. But the weird thing was, she wanted to be in that trance. She liked it. Every time she let his silver eyes bore through her, she got the feeling that he understood. That he knew what she was feeling, everything. His eyes told her, somehow. But what he didn't know, what she strained to hide, was.. That fall she had taken. The fall for him. She didn't know how he would react, she didn't even know how she would react if she told him. This, falling in love with him, was all so complicated, and nothing would be left from it but broken hearts. Hers was already in progress.  
  
It was so unpredictable, she had never envisioned this.. Not in her whole life. Who knew that Draco Malfoy had one of the most captivating, deep eyes she's ever seen? Who knew he could understand her?  
  
Who knew he could change?  
  
Certainly not her. Last year, she wouldn't have given a rat's arse about him. But now, he was all she could think of. He was all she could dream of. She never knew she could care about anyone as strong as she cared for him. She never thought she could care for Draco Malfoy. Not in a million years. It terrified her, but she knew there was nothing she could do. But it was breaking her down, hammering everything she had inside of her. It was hurting her.  
  
Every time he looked at her, pierced into her soul, she was getting even more confused and frustrated. He was hurting her. She was hurting her. Because every time he spoke to her, every time he was around her, she was reminded that he would never want to be with her. He would never fall for her, as she fell for him. He would never care for her, as she cared for him. Even with all his words that he had said, being so kind to her. It was all an act. It was all an act. Draco Malfoy would never do that for her. He would never ask her what was wrong, or worry about her.  
  
He would laugh at her face as she cried. He would make rude and cruel remarks about her parents, her. He said he had changed, and she believed him. Because she wanted to, because she saw it in him. She saw the change, the shift. But why was it so hard? Why was it so hard to believe that he wasn't just doing this to hurt her, to humiliate her? Why..  
  
Why did it drive her to tears just thinking about this? Just thinking about him?  
  
She hastily wiped them away with her sleeve, and willed them to stop. She couldn't believe she had gotten so weak. Just then, she heard the door open. She looked up to see Draco Malfoy, staring back at her. He still had his robes on, his Prefect badge gleaming even with the little light provided.  
  
Draco swallowed hard, as he walked over to her. He sat on the couch, admiring the flames. He remembered the night before, just like this one. The night where he had laughed with her, and the night where her brown eyes glimmered and sparkled. Which was very rare, now. He couldn't help but smile at the fact that he had made her happy, at least for a moment.  
  
Half of her face was dark, because of the shadows. But she was silent, as she also looked at the flames. He couldn't see her red eyes, and Hermione was awfully glad for that.  
  
" How was it? The patrolling around the corridors, I mean," she said, quietly, to him. Draco smiled faintly. So it was her who spoke first this time.  
  
"It was alright, caught some couple going at it, although. It wasn't such a pretty sight." Hermione laughed, her graceful laughter filling the room. Draco could feel his insides melting. He looked at her, and she was smiling at the flames, but he knew she was truly smiling at him. He chuckled lightly.  
  
"I haven't caught anyone yet. Feel I'm awfully lucky, though," she said softly.  
  
"Oh, I think you're missing out on the fun, Granger," he laughed. "You don't see how red they turn when they see you."  
  
Hermione smiled wider, almost that it almost reached her eyes.  
  
"Yeah, I guess you're right." Draco couldn't help but notice how quiet her voice was when she spoke to him. But even with its softness, and faintness, it still managed to fill his ears.  
  
"but that's just another thing I've managed to be left out of," she faintly said. Draco sat up, his arms across his chest.  
  
"What do you mean by that, Granger?" Hermione sighed, but nodded her head.  
  
"It's nothing, forget it."  
  
"No, tell me." She looked at him, her eyes sad. But Draco wasn't going to let her get away this time.  
  
"You're not talking about Potter and Weasely, are you?" Hermione quickly turned her gaze away, to the ground.  
  
"No, of course not," she said softly. Draco just looked at her, determined to break through her shield.  
  
"I've seen how they treat you, Granger," he said to her. "Not exactly friendly." Hermione felt her anger boil.  
  
"They treat me perfectly fine, Malfoy," she said to him, glaring at the ground. She felt as if her gaze could burn holes into the carpet. How did he know, anyway? Had he seen?  
  
"I don't appreciate constant lies," he said. She looked up, and glared at him.  
  
"I'm sorry, I missed the part where this was any of your business," she spat.  
  
"I'm sorry, Granger, for acknowledging your mistreatment," his voice suddenly rose. Hermione was caught off guard by his words, but her anger towered. She stood up, her hands shaking.  
  
"Where do you get off on telling me on mistreatment?" she shouted at him. Draco rose, his eyes glimmering with anger. Why was she so stubborn?  
  
"I know you hate it, I've seen you. I've seen the way they forget you're there, and that hurt in your eyes. You try to pretend everything's okay when you're around them, but it's not!" he shouted at her. Hermione walked to him, shaking with anger.  
  
"I think you've forgotten what role you've played in our lives, Malfoy," she said to him, harshly.  
  
"I haven't forgotten, Granger," he spat.  
  
"Then I advise you to stick your nose somewhere else," she shot at him. Draco glared at her, but she started walking past him, but he grabbed her arm and spun her around.  
  
"You're not leaving. This is far from over," he snarled at her.  
  
"You have no right to tell me what to do!" she shouted at him, trying to free herself from his grasp. But he was far too strong. She could feel his eyes burning into her, and the tears struggling to come out. She let out a strangled cry, as one slipped out. His hand seemed fiery, burning into her flesh. She had to get out. She had to run.  
  
"Maybe not, but I'm tired of your lies!"  
  
"Since when do you care, anyway, Malfoy?!" she suddenly shouted. Draco froze, and she jerked her arm away. Her brown eyes were flashing, and another tears rolled down her cheek.  
  
"Since when do you ask me what's wrong?! Or whether my friends notice I'm there?!" She glared at him.  
  
"Since when do you care about me?!"  
  
Draco looked angrily at her, but didn't say anything. His stomach was churning with a burning white hot liquid, but it seemed to be freezing his insides.  
  
"Answer me!" she shouted at him. "I demand you to answer me!"  
  
Draco didn't know what to say. He couldn't tell her. He wanted to. But he didn't want to. He couldn't. He should. He shouldn't. The tears in her eyes flooded, and he could see her tear-streaked face. He couldn't handle this. He turned to leave, but Hermione ran to block him.  
  
"Answer me!" she yelled. "I need to know!"  
  
"It's killing me, not knowing. Not knowing why you ask me if everything's alright, what's wrong. It's pure torture, not knowing why you're being like this to me. If you're just doing this to hurt me, to humiliate me later on, or if it's really true.. If you care about me.." She stared at him, but he said nothing. She felt her heart break, shattering.  
  
"So it was all a game? It was all a foolish trick to try and break me?" Her voice broke as more tears came pouring out. Draco couldn't stand this; it was killing him. He had to say something. Do something.  
  
" I should've known," she said, shaking her head. Some drops rained on the ground.  
  
"You haven't changed, I should've known.. I was such a fool!" she yelled at herself, backing away. Draco looked at her with pleading eyes, but she refused to look up at him.  
  
Just then, she did, her wet glossy eyes. Her lips trembling.  
  
"I can't believe I believed you," she whispered. Just then, she turned, and Draco ran. He grabbed her hand, and he twisted her around. He raised his hands and framed her face, his hands and fingers seemed to be smoldering her skin. Before she could utter a word, his lips had crashed into hers.  
  
She couldn't believe it. He was kissing her. 


	10. You

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: don't own characters, just the plot, thank you.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
I only found out yesterday that I am on the favorite authors list of nine members, and the author alert list of twenty members.. oh, joy, pure bliss. I cannot tell you how happy that has made me. SO TO THOSE NINE, AND TWENTY PEOPLE, THIS IS FOR YOU!!!  
  
Thanks to all the reviewers, I really really appreciate it.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
'There's always something  
  
in the way  
  
There's always something  
  
getting through  
  
But it's not me  
  
It's you.  
  
Sometimes ignorance  
  
Rings true  
  
But hope is not in  
  
What I know  
  
Not in me  
  
It's in you.  
  
It's all I know  
  
I find peace when I'm confused  
  
I find hope when I'm let down  
  
Not in me  
  
But in you  
  
I hope to lose myself  
  
For good  
  
I hope to find it in the end  
  
Not in me  
  
It's you.  
  
It's all I know.'  
  
-'You.'  
  
by switchfoot.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Draco wrapped his arms around her waist, and held her close, as she parted her mouth, and he let his tongue slip in. She tasted so sweet, so good.. Her lips were so soft and moist, and she was beginning to kiss him back.  
  
Hermione was in a daze. He was kissing her. He was kissing her. No matter how many times it rang in her mind, she still couldn't believe it. HE WAS KISSING HER. She felt his arms wrap around her, and hold her tightly, and she could feel a white-hot light fill her, like holy water. His lips were molding against hers, his hands holding her against his lean body. Her knees felt weak, and if it weren't for his firm grasp on her, she would've fallen to the ground by now. As one of his hands rose to stroke her neck, she could feel her nerves buzzing hyperactively, electricity crackling through her veins, sending shocks and sparks surging her body. In all of her shock, she had managed to kiss him back, her lips massaging against his, their tongues dancing. But then something stopped her. Something was telling her to push him away. What did this mean? Did he really care about her? She let out a strangled cry against his lips, and pushed him away. Draco stumbled back, startled. He looked at her, confused. Her eyes were still red and puffy, the firelight still chasing the shadows. Her cheeks were tear-streaked and flushed. It amazed him at how she could still be so beautiful. He looked at her questionably.  
  
"I-" she stammered. She had broken off a perfectly good kiss.. Why? Something inside her was tugging at her heart, telling it to stop beating so loud and rapidly. There was doubt, clouding inside of her mind. Why had he kissed her? Was it to just.. Shut her up? She looked at him, and backed away, her eyes brimming with tears again. Draco looked at her, trying to ask what was wrong, but he found his throat had closed up. His hands felt empty and cold, his heart hammering inside his chest. There was a sinking feeling inside of him, his stomach caving in deeper and deeper, until he no longer knew where it was. He felt the butterflies get even faster, but they seemed to be disappearing, one by one. Had he hurt her? Why.. He just didn't know why she pulled back. But he saw that hurt in her eyes again, and he just didn't know what he had done wrong this time. He swallowed hard, and tried at his throat again. This time, it obeyed.  
  
"They don't deserve you," he said to her hoarsely. She looked at him with pleading eyes, as if telling him to stop.  
  
"You deserve so much better, someone who'll listen. Someone who won't abandon you." She could feel her heart crumbling down, folding and falling into ruins. She deserved so much better, so he said. But just not him. She felt herself trembling, tears came out faster and harder than before. Her vision became blurry, but she could still see the outline of him, looking at her. She wiped them away in haste, but they kept coming back, persistent.  
  
" I don't know what I deserve," she said to him through her tears. Draco walked towards her, to try and comfort her, but she had already turned and ran into her room. She closed the door, the sound echoing in his ears. He was left alone, again, with the lazy fire. He stared after her, looking at her door. He hoped she would come out, and let him hold her again. Maybe even to kiss her. But he stood there, for couple of minutes, and nothing happened. Nothing came out of the room; no sound could be heard but shifting and rustling. He walked over to the door, and held up his hand, as if to knock. But he stopped; he was hesitating. Maybe he did hurt her, without knowing. But how? He slowly put his hand back down, and took one last look at the naked door, and turned. He walked towards the fire, and stood in front of it. The heat of the flickering flames wasn't enough to warm his heart, or even his hands that were now trembling. He missed the warmth she brought to him, and the warmth that coursed through his veins, that fevered him. He missed the warmth, her presence in his arms. She had felt so soft, her scent invading his nose, making him light-headed and making everything seem so dreamlike. He had never felt anything like it before, kissing her. It was like a blue sacred light had filled him, healing all his wounds, all his hurts from the past. Making him forget every single thing except that he was here, with her in his arms. Kissing.  
  
His lips were swollen, and they felt extremely hot, as if they had been stung with fire-bathed bees. He licked his lips, and he could still taste her. He sighed, as he ran a hand through his fine hair.  
  
"What is she doing to me?" he asked himself, and rather, the flames that seemed to bounce off the sides of the fireplace. He grabbed his wand from inside his robes, and whispered a spell that immediately extinguished the fire. The aroma of smoke filled the room, and he gave it one last look, then walked towards his room.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
The next day was uneventful; the classes seemed to be longer than usual. The professors seemed to be droning on and on, and Draco would've fallen asleep but his attention was locked on Hermione. She was sitting with her usual idiot friends, but she hadn't uttered a word to them, even at breakfast. He saw Potter and Weasely exchanging confused and worried looks, in concern of Hermione, he was sure. But he just glared at them. The stupid pricks.  
  
Hermione, of course, was avoiding him. She had left much earlier than he had, and she wouldn't even look at him. Her eyes seemed to be glued to the professor, but yet he knew that she felt his eyes on her, and it was irritating her. Draco was irritated too; why was she angry with him? She didn't want him to kiss her? Draco frowned; that couldn't be it. She had kissed him back, after all. Draco had done all he could to try and get her attention, but she still wouldn't give, and he couldn't get all that close. Potter and Weasely seemed to finally recognize she was with them. Oh how he would just love to beat the pulp out of them..  
  
Snape turned to Draco, and drawled dryly. "What is the main ingredient of the Ribsikain potion?" he asked them, but he was looking at Draco. Draco knew what that meant. But he looked around, and no one had their hand up. Even Hermione. Hermione seemed to be staring at Snape, listening attentively.  
  
But he could see her looking at him from the corner of her eye.  
  
"Arymise roots, professor," he answered coolly. Snape smirked, but it was the kind of smirk a dead, rotting person would give.  
  
"Ten points to Slytherin," He said, before turning to write something on the board again. Draco focused on Hermione again, but she still was listening to the bloody teacher. Surely he couldn't be all that intriguing!? Certainly she couldn't keep this up all day. The urge to talk to her, to stare into her eyes was growing bigger and bigger. He was almost itching to speak to her. He just had to. And well, if she was just going to turn away again, he was going to force her to listen to him, or get her to explain what he did wrong. And if her two body guards got in the way. Draco smirked, clutching his wand in his pocket tightly.  
  
Surely it would take more than a week to repair them, even  
with Madame Pomphrey's 'magical' medicine.  
  
Finally, the blasted class ended, and they were off to the class that idiot giant, Hagrid was teaching. Draco hated the class, no doubt. The bloody man-if he could even call him that- favored the Gryffindors, like the headmaster. On the bright side, Hermione would be there. Maybe he would get a chance to talk to her. He certainly hoped he would.  
  
Hagrid talked about some creature (Draco wasn't listening, really), but all he could think about was the brown haired girl in the front. She was perfectly still, and she seemed to be sitting by some Gryffindor girl, not Weasely and Potter. He kept his eyes on her for the whole period, Hagrid's rambling about the animal completely inaudible.  
  
Class ended, and they were to head back to their dormitories, but Draco saw Hagrid talking to Hermione whilst everyone was packing up and leaving. He also saw Harry and Ron stare at her, confusion and worry in their eyes. Draco saw Hermione nod, smiling at the giant, and she started to leave. Hermione's gaze met with his, but she quickly turned away. As she brushed past him, he gently caught her arm. She turned to him, trying so hard to disguise the hurt in her eyes.  
  
"I need to talk to you," he said to her, his eyes pleading at her. She jerked away her arm, but there was no anger or hostility in her chocolate eyes, or even in her voice. It seemed rather expressionless.  
  
"I'm busy," she simply said to him, and turned to walk out the class. Draco stared after and sighed, then made his way out the classroom.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Draco headed back to his dorm, after tirelessly patrolling the corridors. The hallways were full of lurking shadows, the torches on the walls not exactly helpful. But he didn't mind. It was quiet, except for the sound of his footsteps echoing off the walls. He walked rather slowly, because he seemed to be trapped in his thoughts again, lost. His mind was on her again. He was sure she wouldn't be coming out to read by the fire for a while, let alone talk to him or let him have an opportunity to talk to her. Alone. It had been days since he had tried to talk to her in that classroom. Now he barely saw her; she left much earlier, arrived much later or earlier. Of course, he saw her in the Great Hall, but he was often discouraged. It seemed that she had shut everyone out. She didn't sit with her two friends, but alone at the end of the table. She barely spoke, not even in class. He could see the worry in Professor McGonagall's eyes when she had asked a row of questions, and not once had Hermione raised her hand to answer. Even Professor Snape seemed to be impressed.  
  
She worried Draco. He had never seen her this way, never. It bothered him; not seeing her smile, not hearing her laugh, even if it meant she wasn't smiling at him, or laughing by him. She seemed so solemn, so lifeless. Draco felt as if his lungs froze over whenever he saw her. Had he done this to her? Had his words.. Struck her this deeply? Anxiety often blanketed him, worry and confusion about the girl. She was scaring him. Everything.. He had never been this worried in his life. He cared about her. He guessed it was just a bonus that came with caring about someone. Draco got frustrated just thinking about it.  
  
Just then, a dark figure came into view, walking briskly towards him. Draco peered at the figure, and it seemed to be a girl. She had a black cloak on, and he could see her brown hair on her shoulders. Something about her seemed strangely familiar. She was about five yards away, when Draco halted.  
  
"You there, stop. You're supposed to be in your dorm by now," he said loudly, conviction in his voice. But the cloaked figure did not stop. He quickly blocked her when she was close enough. She dodged him, and ran past. Draco swore under his breath, and chased after her. She was a fairly fast runner, but no match for Draco's long legs. He caught her, and he swung her around. The shadow of her hood covered the upper half of her face, but her mouth.. Thos lips seemed so familiar. He held her by her shoulders, and a certain familiar warmth seemed to overtake his body.  
  
"You," he hissed. "You shouldn't be lurking around corridors at this hour, it's after curfew. Take off your hood." She struggled to be freed from his grasp, but Draco held her firmly. He raised up one of his hands, and slipped off her hood.  
  
Even in the shadows she managed to take his breath away.  
  
Hermione was staring up at him, scowling. He let his grasp soften, as he felt a wave of warmth and chills invade him. His heart was pounding, staring into those warm eyes again.  
  
"Hermione?" he asked. "What are you doing out this late?"  
  
She jerked away from him, but her eyes never left him. She missed staring into his deep eyes, although she refused to believe it. She felt those butterflies return, their speed increasing with every second the world let pass.  
  
"I was sent to do an errand," she said to him. Draco stared at her, the cold air surpassing the warmth that had been rushing through his veins.  
  
"This late at night?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What kind of errand?"  
  
"For Hagrid. It's for the class." She shifted uncomfortably. Draco's gaze was still penetrating through her, unwavering.  
  
"Hermione.." he said. She turned away, looking at the floor beside her. The tension in the air was too much. She burshed past him, and he stared after her. She walked down the hall, feeling those butterflies slowly residing. Except her heart was beating as rapidly as before. She could feel the frosty air press against her skin, although her cloak was heavy and warm.  
  
"Where are you going?" Draco yelled after her. She didn't respond. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, before taking off after her. Soon, he was at her side again.  
  
"Where are you going?" he asked her. She refused to look at him, as she had managed to put her hood back on again.  
  
"Out."  
  
"Out where?"  
  
She didn't respond. He sighed, frustrated. "I wish you'd stop being so stubborn!" he said to her. She glared at him, the shadow failing to hide her glimmering eyes.  
  
"The forbidden forest." Draco gaped at her.  
  
"What? Are you bloody mad? Do you want to get yourself killed? It's raining stones out there!" Hermione looked at him, her eyes uncertain, and worried.  
  
"I know." Draco grabbed her arm, and she stopped. His eyes searched hers, as his grip tightened. Hermione could feel herself breaking, crumbling under his intense gaze.  
  
"I've got to do it," she said, her voice slightly wavering. "I promised I would do it for Hagrid, and I keep my word. It's for the class. Besides, it's not that far into the forest." Draco just looked at her, but he spoke.  
  
"I'm coming with you." Hermione nodded, but she could feel the room getting warmer and warmer. His hand was still on her arm, and she felt as if they were scorching through the fabric of her cloak.  
  
"You haven't got a cloak. You'll freeze to death," she looked at his robes, and he could see her eyes flickering with worry. He smiled faintly. He pulled out his wand, and whispered, "Accio cloak." In a matter of seconds, his cloak flew to him, and he caught it effortlessly. He put it on, and Hermione just looked at him, watching. She watched him as he pulled it on to his lean shoulders, and clasped it with his hands. She looked at his hands, feeling all these memories rush back, making her feel lightheaded. She remembered his hands caressing her cheek, his fingers stroking her gently. She remembered the intense warmth she felt when he had pulled her against him, his hands running up and down her waist, kissing her deeply.  
  
"Hermione?" she was sucked back into reality, as she noticed Draco looking at her, concerned.  
  
"Oh, sorry," she said, a blush creeping through her cheeks.  
  
They headed down and out the corridors, silence trailing them. Hermione had a bad feeling about this, but somehow, having Draco here with her, she felt safe. She stole a glance at him, as he was staring ahead, determined but unsure.  
  
She smiled to herself, she felt as if the terrible frostbite outside couldn't erase the warmth Draco brought to her. 


	11. Rain

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own characters, just the plot.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
thanks to all the reviewers!! I'll try to update as much as I can, but I think this week will be pretty busy for me.. (frown). Wish me luck! I hope I can still write a chapter everyday, but I don't know.  
  
Thanks to my friend Rita, and my cousins Hannah and Sarah.  
  
Sarah, this is for you.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
" When all I have is on the floor  
  
divided, divided  
  
When I'm a world away from peace  
  
Behind your eyes is where I know  
  
I'll find it, I'll find it.  
  
'Cos who you are defines my dreams.  
  
When I'm a broken hearted man  
  
Complacent and tired  
  
When I've been knocked out of the race  
  
I've been a fool for long enough  
  
To fight it, to fight it.  
  
It's in your arms I find my place."  
  
-'You Already Taken me There'  
  
by Switchfoot.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Rain  
  
Draco and Hermione stood at the doors, looking uncertain. Sure, they've been in the Forbidden Forest before, but never when it was raining so hard you could hear it pounding on the windows, like stones. Hermione swallowed hard, and Draco looked at her. He smiled at her, as he held the handles of the doors. She felt the butterflies get faster, but his smile comforted her.  
  
"Ready?" he asked her. She nodded, turning to stare ahead. He opened the doors, and they stepped out, into the rain.  
  
The icy rain struck her hard, as if it were piercing her skin. The wind was frosty and she could feel even her toes freezing up. She grasped her cloak tightly, as the rain hit her hand, her knuckles and fingers feeling so numb it stung, they were turning deathly pale. She struggled to keep walking, as it seemed to wind and rain was pushing her back. Draco stole a glance at her, and he saw that she was having a great difficulty against this nature. He quickly walked closer besie her, and wrapped his arm around her. Hermione smiled up at him, feeling his strong arms around her. She felt little heat spreading through her. He just stared ahead, his hood on, the wind howling loudly. Finally they reached the Forbidden Forest, and they rushed inside. Hermione saw the familiar tree Hagrid had told her about, and crouched down. She got out a bag, and pulled out as many leaves of the plant as she could. She stuffed the bag into her pocket, and hurried to Draco, and they started walking towards the castle.  
  
They stumbled into the castle, the absence of the biting wind and icy rain warming them. Draco panted hard, as he closed the door shut, and muttered a spell to keep it locked. Hermione held herself tightly; she could still the wind roaring in her ears, and her skin was still in shock of the intense weather. She gasped in air rapidly, until it was back to their normal pace. She opened her eyes, and turned. Draco was there, his cheeks flushed, but his eyes dark and glimmering. He was smiling at her, but only barely. He put his hood down, and ran a hand through his hair. His hair was damp and it shone even with little light. Hermione smiled at him, faintly.  
  
"Thank you," she said quietly. He smiled, wider.  
  
"You could've been killed, out there. Especially if you couldn't find your way back out," he said as he walked to her side. He smirked down at her, as she felt some color in her cheeks return. He looked so devishly handsome when he did that. "We better get back to our dorms," he said to her, and she nodded.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
They entered the common room, and both of them stripped off their wet cloaks. Draco quickly rushed to the fireplace, and got a blazing fire up with a spell. Hermione smiled, as she felt the heat fill the room, and her body warm up. Of course, the fire did little to cause that. She was watching him, his hair damp, his shirt slightly wet. It clung to his muscles, and she could feel shivers trace down her spin as she tried to imagine feeling them..  
  
"You'd better change," he said to her, and she looked down. She blushed furiously, as she noticed she was wet also. But not so much. Not as much as him. She nodded at him, and hurried back into her room. She changed into a new pair of pajamas, a simple tank and dark flannel pants. She came back out, and saw that Draco was there, sitting on the couch, admiring the fire. She hesitated, and turned to go back into her room, but the sound of his voice stopped her.  
  
"No, please. I want you to stay," he said to her, but his gaze was still on the fire. She felt her heart beating loudly, but she sighed as she closed the door, and walked towards the armchair she always sat in. She sat down, slightly uncomfortable, because now his gaze was on her. She stared back into his eyes, and she felt as if everything around her had faded. He had on a fit black t-shirt, and it made his eyes seem much lighter, but did little to hide his emotions. She could see.. She swallowed hard. Longing. And there was one more emotion that she could not read. It was unfamiliar to her. Or just unfamiliar to be seen in his eyes.  
  
"My words struck you hard, didn't they?" he asked her quietly. She was caught off guard, but she just didn't answer. He went on, staring into her eyes.  
  
"You.. You haven't been yourself lately, in class. The Professors are worried about you," he paused and looked down. "Even your little friends, Potter and Weasely." Hermione winced at the sound of their names. She looked at him, sadly.  
  
"Felt I've lost all my energy, lately. Schoolwork's not such a priority anymore, nor is anything else. She looked down at her feet. "I don't know why. But, yes, partly, it was your words." She laughed emptily. "I don't even know what I'm doing hanging around with them. Maybe because I just wanted someplace to belong, and I didn't want to give that up yet. It made me blind, really."  
  
"I'm sorry," he said to her. She looked up at him.  
  
"Don't be." He sighed, and he thought saying sorry was supposed to lift this heavy weight on his heart, but it didn't even shift.  
  
"Hermione.. You deserve so much better than them, I know you do."  
  
"Don't say that," she whispered, feeling that pain return. Her heart was still aching, throbbing. Draco's eyes pleaded at her.  
  
"It's the truth." Hermione stood up, and blinked back the tears.  
  
"The truth is meant to be hidden, from some of us." Draco stood up also, and walked towards her. She made no move to back away.  
  
"How do you know?" He asked her, softly. He was so close to her; not an inch away. He brought up his hand, and caressed her cheek, tilting her head up to face him. Hermione felt the smooth surface of his hand lay against her cheek, and she felt as if her nerves were going absolutely ballistic.  
  
Draco smiled faintly at her, as he brought up his other hand and framed her face. "You don't."  
  
Hermione felt as if she was lightheaded, and this was all some dream.. Everything around her seemed to be swirling except Draco, who was still as clear as day. His eyes were staring into hers, and she felt her knees go weak. His face was so close, and she closed her eyes, scared.  
  
"Please, Draco," she whispered. "Don't kiss me."  
  
"Why?" he whispered back to her.  
  
"It hurts," she opened her eyes, and they were brimming with tears again. He stared at her, confused.  
  
"Don't kiss me if you feel nothing for me. She untangled herself from him, and he looked at her, still puzzled.  
  
"Don't kiss me if you don't mean it," she choked out, her hands trembling at her sides. He walked towards her, and she tried to back away, but it seemed as if her feet were rooted to the ground. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and held her close. Hermione could feel the tears slipping out. What was he doing?  
  
He raised his hand, and caressed her cheek, his eyes deep. She swallowed hard, her heart hammering in her chest.  
  
"I can't stop thinking about you, every single day, every single night. You haunt me, even in my dreams. I find myself worrying about you.. More than I ever have in my whole life... I care about you, Hermione. More than you could ever know." He swallowed hard, his eyes searching hers. "You mean everything to me.. Is that nothing?" Just then, without a single second of hesitation, his lips swept down to meet hers.  
  
Hermione felt as if everything could've crumbled down around them, and she wouldn't even notice it. She was still processing his words in her head, but it was awfully hard when he was kissing her so passionately, so sensually. His voice echoed, his words bounced off her ears. She still couldn't believe it.  
  
He held her even more tightly against him, every single part of her body pressing against his, and she made no move to retreat. Embers and flashes crackled through her veins, her mind felt as it had just died, and she couldn't care less. His lips molded against hers, as she parted her lips, and his tongue danced with hers. A great wave of warmth covered her, spreading through her skin.. Her insides felt as if they were feverish.. She raised her hands, and let them entangle themselves in his silky hair, as he deepened the kiss even more.  
  
The fire was getting lazy and weak, with no one to tend for it. Hermione was lost, wrapped in his strong, warm embrace, his kisses so sweet and addicting.  
  
She felt as if she had vanished from reality. From the reality where Slytherins and Gryffindors were segregated by their hate and rivalry.. From the reality where purebloods were to be cherished and not to be soiled by contact with Mudbloods.. From the reality where mudbloods were shunned and despised by the purebloods. Reality had disappeared, it had faded.  
  
The whole world had vanished, taking every single thing with it. And neither one of them, Draco or Hermione, seemed to mind. No, not at all. 


	12. Difficult Apologies

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own characters, just plot.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Oh my goodness.. MY REVIEWERS, YOU MAKE ME SO HAPPY!!! You don't even know it, haha.. hope you like this chap as much as my other chapters.. and review, as always!! I need motivation, haha.  
  
To my teacher, Mrs. Delong. Thanks for being so cool and understanding. This is for you.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
'Oh you're so beautiful, with an edge  
  
and a charm  
  
but oh so careful when I'm in your arms'  
  
-'Building a Mystery'  
  
by Sarah Mclachlan  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Difficult Apologies  
  
Hermione and Draco slowly pulled back, and she rested her head against his chest, inhaling his spicy scent. Draco stroked her hair; the world seemed to have stopped spinning. Hermione tried to shallow her breathing, but she was still finding hard to believe this had happened. All of it. She could hear his heart beating, underneath his thin shirt, and felt his chest slowly move up and down, taking in one breath at a time. She was well aware of his soft fingers running through her hair, sending warm splintering crackles throughout her body. She sighed, and pulled back, slowly. Draco stared into her deep chocolate eyes, holding her close. He doubted he could ever let her go. And if he was able to, his hands, his body would miss her tepid presence against him so much that he would lie awake all night. Trembling as the cold overtook the tenderness and warmth he once held and felt. Just thinking of it made his grasp tighten on her.  
  
"How.. How did this happen?" she asked him, softly. He raised his hand, and laid his palm against her cheek.  
  
"I'd be lying if I said I knew," he whispered to her. Hermione sighed, her eyes melting everything inside of him.  
  
"What are we going to do?"  
  
"What can we do? There's.. Ignore each other and act as if nothing had happened, totally ignore our feelings. Or be with each other and be happy." He smirked at her, causing one of her breaths to be caught in her throat. "To be honest, I'd rather much like choice number two, but then again, it is your choice." She looked down, uncertain.  
  
"Aren't you worried.. About what your housemates will think? Surely that means something to you." He heard sadness in her voice. He smiled at her.  
  
"Maybe once upon a time, but I couldn't give a rat's arse about what the little pricks thought now." Hermione smiled faintly at his comment. "What about you," he asked, holding her closer. "Worried about what the little Gryffindors will think?"  
  
She shook her head, but slowly. "It's not that. It's just.. I have to tell Harry and Ron, and I'm not sure how they'll take it." Draco scowled at the mention of their names, and looked down. But he didn't let go of her.  
  
"Draco, I have to tell them."  
  
"Why? Because it's just now that they happened to realize that you're there?" he snapped at her. Draco immediately saw his mistake, as he saw hurt cloud her eyes. She turned away, and Draco could feel his heart buckling. How did he always manage to hurt her with his blasted words?  
  
"Because they're my best friends," she said softly, almost inaudible to his ears. "I understand you don't like them, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't tell them anything because you hate them."  
  
"They'll come after me with a stake, chanting bloody curses," he muttered under his breath, still furious at the thought of the two pricks. Hermione looked at him sadly, pained. But she swallowed hard, and spoke, her voice quivering.  
  
"Alright then.. If you don't want them to know so much, maybe we can keep it quiet for a while. But nothing's guaranteed on how long," she sighed. Draco looked at her; he saw the way she avoided his gaze, the way she looked down and anywhere else but up at him. He could feel the guilt quickly spreading throughout him. But he just couldn't stand Potter and that Weasely.. He knew he should just say that she could tell them, but it seemed that his hate for them ran deeper than he knew. He saw the hurt in her eyes, even though she wasn't brave enough to look up at him. He sighed, and kissed her softly on the forehead. Hermione shut her eyes, savoring the feel of his soft lips against her skin.  
  
"For a while, at least. When it comes out, then I'll be ready. I'm sure I will."  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Hermione entered the Great Hall, and sat at her usual corner, alone. She heard a few whispers and mumbles as she passed, but didn't mind it. She looked up from her plate, and saw Draco smiling at her, his deep silver eyes sparkling. She felt that wave of heat wash through her, as she smiled back at him. Just then, she felt a slight breeze gust across her, and she turned and laid her eyes on her two friends. They sat next to her, their plates filled. She looked at their expressions; Harry was worried, Ron was confused and concerned. Hermione felt a slight annoyance rush through her veins, but she didn't say anything, as she just turned back to her plate.  
  
"Er. Hermione?" Harry said. Hermione took a bite of her French toast, and didn't say anything. She could feel Draco's piercing gaze on her; on them. Just then she felt a warm pressure on her shoulder. She quickly looked at them.  
  
"Is there anything bothering you?" Hermione scowled at them, now very very irritated.  
  
"You two are the most dense people I have ever met in my life!" she said to them. Harry had this apologetic look on his face, but she wasn't about to fall for it.  
  
"We're sorry, Hermione. We really are. We just.. We get carried away sometimes."  
  
"You've got some nerve, Harry Potter," she said to him, huffily. "First, you ignore me-"  
  
"Not on purpose!" Ron cut in.  
  
"-Now you're," she sighed, frustrated. "You two are despicable!" Ron frowned at her. Hermione glared at him.  
  
"Don't you dare, Ron. I don't fall for your bloody lame facial expressions."  
  
"Hermione, we're just trying to apologize!"  
  
"Oh yeah, and you are doing such a good job at it!" She yelled, sarcastically. Ron glared at her, his blue eyes narrowing into slits.  
  
"Give us a break! It's not our fault we find your endless rambling about bloody Hogwarts a bloody history so bloody boring!" Harry gaped at his friend, who was still fuming. He certainly knew he had struck a nerve. Especially when he started insulting her study habits, or books and whatnot. Hermione glared knives at him; her anger seeping further and deeper down she could ever know it would. Hermione inhaled sharply, and got up, grabbing her bookbag.  
  
Ron glared at her. "Where are you going?"  
  
She turned and gave him another rock splintering glare, and went out of the Great Hall. Draco stared after her; what had the bloody pricks done now?  
  
Harry glared at Ron, who was still glowering at the doors that Hermione had just walked out of.  
  
"What is your problem?!" he whispered harshly to his friend. Ron turned to Harry, still angry.  
  
"It's not our fault she's so bloody stubborn!" Harry's emerald eyes flashed.  
  
"You prick! Why can't you just.." Harry let out a frustrated groan, and stood up. Ron stared at him questionably.  
  
"Where are you going?" Ron asked him. Harry looked angrily at him.  
  
"To apologize. Properly. You stay here. Before you get hexed BY THE BOTH OF US," he snapped at him, and hurriedly walked out of the Great Hall. Harry ran out the Great Hall, and looked around. She was nowhere to be found. He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. Where could she be? An idea struck him, and he ran down the corridor.  
  
He burst through the library doors, and looked for her. He scanned the shelves, hurriedly walking up and down the aisles. Just then, he reached the last row of books, and he heard rapid breathing. He paused, and started walking much slower. He silently peered through the bookshelf, and saw Hermione there, sitting on the ground, head in her hands. He watched her, his emerald eyes softening at the sight of her. Finally, after a few moments, he emerged from behind the bookshelf, and Hermione froze. She looked up and saw Harry. Harry smiled apologetically at her, as he walked to beside her and sat down.  
  
"We really are sorry, you know," he said to her, staring up at the rows of books on the wall. Hermione took her head off her hands, and looked at the books too.  
  
"For what? Ignoring me? Being bored to death by my talks about literature? Becoming friends with such a geek like me?"  
  
Harry looked at her, his eyes pleading. He took her hand in his, and he squeezed it.  
  
"For not noticing sooner. We really didn't mean to ignore you, you should know that. It's well.. I know we really haven't explained our sudden exits, but it's just because we've been helping Hagrid.. With uh, some business."  
  
"And you felt it was something you had to hide from me?" She asked him, her eyes sorrowful.  
  
"Hagrid said not to tell anyone else, even you. I'm sorry. I really would've told you, believe me. But I had to keep his word." Hermione nodded, and wondered if this was how it was going to be when they found out about her and Draco. Inside her heart was tugging again, saying she should tell Harry now; after all he would understand. Right? But even further, deep down, she knew Harry would never understand. He hated Draco. Draco hated him. She stood in between the two foes. And she had crossed the line. She had a bad feeling Harry wouldn't and couldn't understand even if he tried to, for her sake. She felt the warmth of his hand enveloping hers on the carpeted floor, and that made her heart fold.  
  
"We really are sorry," he said. Hermione nodded.  
  
"Alright then." Harry smiled at her, but something inside him was nagging him.. It was saying something was wrong. By that far away and worried look in her eyes; he could tell she was hiding something.  
  
"You alright?" He asked her. She didn't turn to look at him, but merely just stared up at the books.  
  
"So.. You think it's okay to keep things from friends?" she asked him. Harry gave her a puzzled look.  
  
"It depends what it is."  
  
"Maybe.. For the sake of a friend, like in your case, Hagrid?"  
  
Harry nodded slowly, not knowing where this was going. "I guess so." Hermione stared dully at the wall. Harry looked at her, worried.  
  
"Are you sure you're alright?" He asked her, concern flickering in his green eyes. Hermione turned to him. She felt so fake. She felt like a liar. A traitor.  
  
She smiled at him.  
  
"I'm fine, Harry." 


	13. Dying fire

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: don't own characters, just the plot.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
author's note: thanks to all the reviewers!!! And thanks to Ann, again. Thanks for not being pissed about me being madly in love with Tom Felton, teehee. Oh, and to answer one of you guys' question, the book that Hermione was reading in the past (it comes up, in this chap.) is not an actual book. I just made it up.. Okay, on with the story.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Dying Fire  
  
Hermione entered the common room, book in hand. She smiled warmly, as she saw that the fire was again, blazing and flickering. She silently closed the door, still staring at the dancing flames. The room was dark, the fire only giving out a lazy yellow light, which was not entirely good for reading. Just then, she saw Draco's door open, and he came out. He froze as his heart stopped for a second at the sight of her. He smirked wildly at her, as he shut the door behind him. She smiled back at him, her eyes sparkling.  
  
Draco a breath seize in his throat, as he saw how beautiful she looked, even with the little light. It amazed him how she could be so beautiful in any light, in any place. He walked over to her, as her eyes trailed him, smiling. Once he got close enough, he wrapped his arms around her, and Hermione smiled even wider, feeling his warmth embracing her, her world swirling into colors as she saw only him again. He grinned at her, as he leaned in, their lips almost touching. Draco rose up one of hands and stroked her cheek, feeling her smooth skin against his fingertips. He could feel his heartbeats get quicker and louder, as he marveled at her. She stared up into his dark silver eyes; she was almost sure everything inside her was dissolving. Hermione raised her hands, hugging his waist. Everything had disappeared. Everything was gone. Everything except Draco and her. She felt as if an exuberant wave had passed her when he finally kissed her, his mouth so sweet against hers. Draco pulled her closer, trying to close the invisible gap between them, every part of her body pressed against his. The room had gotten warmer, hotter, as if the fire was roaring and thriving. Hermione let her hands trail up and entwine themselves in his silky hair, as he kissed her deeper, more passionately. She didn't know how he could do it. She didn't know how he could just take her away from all her problems, from the reality she lived in her whole life. It was if everything would just fade away when he held her, when he kissed her. And all she could do was let him take her, beg him to take her, for he was where she found the complete peace she'd been looking for all her life. It was in his eyes she saw the eternity where she wanted to be trapped in her whole life. And he did manage to trap her, in his mysterious deep silver eyes.. She never wanted to let go. She never wanted to come back.  
  
She didn't realize that he had been leading her backwards, until she felt the soft cushions of the couch press against her back, molding against her. They were closer to the fire, and it seemed to be tiring, but the heat traveled through her skin, through her veins. She felt a whimper get caught in her throat, as she felt his hands running up and down her waist, her shirt riding up from the motion. Draco felt so lost.. He was kissing her so deeply,. So passionately and intensely, that he couldn't even tell if his lips were numb. Her mouth was hot and sweet, addicting. His tongue massaged hers, dancing, as he felt her fingers in his hair pull him in deeper to her. He pressed his lean and lanky body against her, as his mouth traveled from her mouth to her neck. He kissed her saccharine skin, never tasting anything so sweet like it before. He heard her moan, her fingers digging into his scalp, her legs shifting beneath him.. The fire seemed to have transferred to inside of him. It was growing bigger and bigger, ferocious and roaring; the passion and the urge and need of her not seeming to fade or even alter. Hermione's breathing was rapid and heavy, as Draco's sweet lips covered her neck, leaving behind a sweet musk she knew that she could never wash out.. Love and passion was never someone could erase.  
  
Draco paused for a second, and caught her mouth again for another fervent kiss. He pulled back, and looked at her. She was flushed, strands of hair had fallen over her face, her eyes were filled with longing and desire.. He could feel her chest rising and falling underneath him, breathing deeply and rapidly. He leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss; his heart seemed to be having a seizure because of the passion and intensity between them. Draco smiled at her, as he caught her hands and entwined his fingers with hers. Hermione smiled at him.  
  
Draco grinned. Who knew she tasted so good? He raised one of her hands, and brought it to his lips. He kissed it softly, as Hermione's heart fluttered.  
  
"I take it you came out here to read?" he grinned at her.  
  
"well.. Yes, that was my plan. Until you came out." He smirked.  
  
"Because I'm so irresistible." Hermione smile at him, her brown eyes glittering.  
  
"I believe you were the one who kissed me first," she said, lightly chuckling.  
  
"But, you kissed me back."  
  
"Of course." He flashed her one more smile, as he shifted positions; he sat behind her, as she leaned against him, her eyes closed. They faced the fire, watching it as the lazy flames danced and flickered. He grabbed the book from beside him; it was the book she had been holding, and handed it to her. She smiled appreciatively.  
  
"Your little red book," he said to her, wrapping his arms around her waist, holding her close. He smiled, s she opened it, revealing the filled pages.  
  
"You never did tell me what happened to the little fool and the princess." She grinned, as she slowly flipped through the pages.  
  
"The 'fool,' manages to impress the princess, but he realizes he gets this weird fluttery feeling in his stomach whenever he's with Anna Margaret, and it confuses him."  
  
He leaned his cheek against the side of her face, inhaling her scent that always succeeded in making him feel lightheaded. In a good way, mind you. "Mmm.." He said to her.  
  
"Then, one day out in the orchard, he realizes his feelings for Anna Margaret, and kisses her. She's surprised, but kisses him back."  
  
"Did the writer agree that the princess was too good for the idiot? Because I can't help but think that he's right." Hermione laughed lightly, her graceful laughter filling his ears.  
  
"It's not like that, Draco. Maybe she was, maybe she wasn't. It's just because he realized that Anna Margaret was the one for him; he was happy with her, and he had fun with her, laughed along with her. With the princess, all she did was talk gossip and act like a prick." Draco snorted.  
  
"I take it you don't like princesses."  
  
"I do. But in her case, no. The author made her such a witch." Draco chuckled lightly, raising his hand to stroke her tresses, running his hands through her silky waves. There was a moment of silence, before she spoke again. This time, her voice was quiet and serious, the laughter and joy in her seeming to disappear from just a moment ago.  
  
"Draco, I made up with Harry today." Draco felt his heart sink at the mention of his name.  
  
"Yeah, that was quite a show you three put up in the Great Hall," he drawled. " I was so excited I couldn't stay still."  
  
"Draco," she sighed. "Ron is an idiot at times, yes, I agree. But he's still my friend, no matter how much I try to deny it. And Harry.. Harry's just.. Harry." Draco let his hands fall, no longer tangled in her hair.  
  
She let out another ragged sigh. "I just don't know how they'll take it."  
  
"I think 'bad's not out of the question."  
  
"I wish I knew they could just understand. But I don't. In fact, I really doubt it." Draco sighed, and snaked his arms around her again.  
  
"Just don't think about it right now. You're here with me. Surely I'm not that boring, am I?'' Hermione smiled. She turned around in his arms, so that she was facing him. She leaned in, and wrapped her hands around his neck.  
  
"What do you suggest we do to solve the problem?" Draco grinned, as he pulled her closer.  
  
"Well, gee, Ms. Granger.. I don't have a clue," he said to her.  
  
"Well, I was thinking-" before she could finish, Draco's lips had already crashed into hers.  
  
Hermione smiled, as she kissed him back, pulling him closer.  
  
The fire died, slowly, as the flames wore out and shrank, until it vanished into smoke. Hermione and Draco paid no attention to it, for they hadn't even noticed the flames were no longer lazily flickering here and there. The room was still awfully warm. For them. 


	14. Beautiful

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: don't own the characters, they belong to J.K. Rowling.. I do own the plot, though, of course.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
well.. I basically have no idea what's going to happen in this chapter.. So I guess I'll just see along with you guys. Thanks to the reviewers!! Sorry if my chapters haven't been all that good, lately.. No motivation.. NEED MOTIVATION!!  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Beautiful  
  
Harry sat down next to Hermione, staring out at the lake. He had spotted her here, coming from the boy's dormitories to come and look for her. He felt like talking to her, though he had nothing to say. Harry looked over at her; she had a content smile on her face, and he felt this releasing warmth wash over him. He hadn't seen her smile in so long. He turned back to the view, and saw that the sky was truly blue.. The clouds were white and wispy, swirling. It was beautiful, but it was the kind of beauty that was often ignored. They had seen it so much, too much, was probably the reason. But Harry was observant, and didn't let the things he saw so often become numb to him. Much like Hermione, sitting beside him. He turned to her, watching her just watch the sky, happy and patient.  
  
Her brown eyes were sparkling, the breeze slightly blowing a couple of strands across her face. No one had considered her 'special,' maybe. Every one of the boys said she was just average looking. But Harry knew better. He thought she was stunning, the natural kind of beauty you could never purchase at a wizarding store, or get from a potion. Or even muggle surgery. Sometimes he would observe her, as she looked through the magazines Lavender shoved in her face, and she'd pretend to be disgusted by all those women.. But even after they had left, harry would watch her, as she flipped through them, pausing once in a while to gaze at the women that dominated the pages. He knew what she was thinking. He knew she thought she wasn't a least bit pretty. But even though he would try to insist that it was all airbrushing, or some magical thing to make them look good, she just put away the magazine and smiled at him.  
  
"It's just rubbish, Harry," she would say to him, and he dropped it. Because that clearly meant she didn't want to talk about it anymore. But she thought about it often, Harry often saw that look in her eyes when a pretty girl passed by. He wished she would just let him tell her she was beautiful. He wished she would just let herself believe. Even for just a moment.  
  
"It's just.. Magical, isn't it, Harry?" she smiled. Harry nodded, smiling faintly as he looked out into the indigo sky. She sighed, as she felt another passing wind comb through her tresses, kiss her cheeks.  
  
"It's hard to believe.. It doesn't even have s speck of magic init, at least not that I know of." She laughed lightly.  
  
"This kind of beauty, nature's beauty, is often.. Well, not seen. Because people just pass by it, one glance, not even giving it a single thought," he said. Hermione smiled and nodded, and they sat in silence for a while, just admiring the scenery.  
  
"How's.. How's Ron?" she asked, quietly.  
  
"He's fine, actually.. Don't mind him, Hermione. You know he could be such a prick sometimes," Harry grinned at her. Hermione lay silent, just looking ahead. Harry got the feeling that she was trying hard to avoid something.  
  
"Hermione.." He sighed. "You've.. I've noticed you've been far off lately.. Is there something you want to tell me?" He asked her, softly. Hermione knew she could tell him. Right now. But what about Draco? He had told her.. Hermione was battling with her conscience, over what was right and what she had said she wouldn't do. She could herself becoming a wreck underneath his emerald gaze, just watching her.. Waiting for her to say something.. Waiting for her to just tell him.  
  
But she just couldn't.  
  
"It's nothing, Harry," she choked out, trying to sound casual.  
  
"So, there is something."  
  
She winced, catching her mistake. "No.. I just.. I've just been really tired lately, is all. Don't worry," she managed to smile at him, but just barely.  
  
Harry searched her eyes, as he took her hand and captured it with his. He held it tight, trying to reassure her, whatever it was she was worried about. She just didn't know how well he could read her. Her lies were just about as useless as Ron's textbooks were to him. But he didn't ant to push it; whatever it was, she would tell him. At the right time. Wouldn't she?  
  
"You can tell me," he said to her. She felt the warmth of Harry's hand spreading to hers, and tracing up her arm. She swallowed hard.  
  
"I know," she whispered to him. He smiled at her weakly, but it was a sad sort of smile. She wasn't going to tell him. Not today, anyway.  
  
She looked into his jade green eyes; they always managed to soothe her, somehow. She couldn't help but feel safe with him beside her. Maybe that was the reason she was scared out of her mind to tell him. She didn't want to lose her friends; especially Harry. He was her safeguard, before Draco came in. He used to be the one to stay with her, to comfort her.. She smiled at him, solemnly. She wanted to tell him. Didn't want to lose him. Wanted to keep his trust. Didn't want to break his heart. She wanted to get rid of this heavy weight upon her heart.  
  
But couldn't.  
  
She couldn't.  
  
She couldn't tell him.  
  
Not when he was here, appreciating this moment. She couldn't bear to see the look of betrayal in his eyes when she would tell him. She couldn't be able to see him look at her, as if.. As if she was a stranger.  
  
As if the old Hermione had vanished right before his eyes, and who now stood before him was a traitor.  
  
She wasn't a traitor. She didn't betray anyone. They had never told her never to fall in love with Draco. They had never set rules, saying she wasn't allowed to like kissing him, or like the feeling of his warm arms around her. They hadn't told her any of that.  
  
But then why did she feel like she had crossed the line? Stepped out of the boundary? If she hadn't done anything wrong.. Why was she feeling so nervous, so guilty?  
  
But maybe he would understand. Maybe he would just nod at her and walk away. Hermione cringed. That was worse. Harry not speaking to her.. She would rather him yelling at her. At least she knew what he felt and was letting it out. Bottled up emotions could never lead to anything good. But was the hate so great between Draco and Harry that.. They couldn't just push it aside for a moment? For her?  
  
Harry grinned at her, his raven hair still messy and tousled, his emerald eyes sparkling. He turned away, his hand still holding hers.  
  
She swallowed hard, and tried to enjoy the view again. But she couldn't. The guilt and that infection had grown bigger, seeped in deeper.  
  
She hoped they would understand.  
  
She prayed they would.  
  
But doubt clouded over all her optimistic thoughts. 


	15. Do Eyes Deceive

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: don't own characters, just the plot.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Thanks to all the reviewers! Sorry there was not much of Draco in the last chapter. Well, actually, there was none at all. Sorry. But I needed to show you how strong Harry and Hermione's relationship is, or the fact that he knows her so well. Although, Harry does not 'love' her, in the way that Draco does. But maybe he just has a crush on her. Well, we'll see..  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Do Eyes Deceive  
  
"You sure you don't want to go, Hermione?" Harry asked her, as he played with his food. Hermione put down her glass, smiling.  
  
" I heard they've got some new books ordered in that book store you like so much," Harry told her.  
  
"I'm staying Harry, and it's fine. Don't worry. Besides, I know how much you hate going into that bookstore," she laughed, taking a bite of her toast.  
  
"Don't tell me you're going to be studying all day today."  
  
Hermione smiled, as she snuck a glance at the Slytherin table. "Oh, I won't."  
  
Ron crinkled his eyebrows, confused. "So then.. Why do you want to stay?"  
  
"I have my reasons," she said.  
  
"Would you like to tell us those reasons?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"It's not important."  
  
"If you choose it over studying, then I'd say it was important." He looked at Harry. " VERY important, wouldn't you say, Harry?"  
  
Harry laughed, shaking his head. "We are very curious, Hermione."  
  
She sighed, thinking of an excuse. "I've just got stuff to do."  
  
"Stuff? That's a new one. What kind of stuff?"  
  
"That's not important," she said. "Just eat your breakfast and go have fun."  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Hermione had already said goodbye to Harry and Ron, and she headed up down the corridors, the floors still shiny and clean. She smiled, as she thought about seeing Draco again, with no one around.. Outside of the common room. It was a wave of fresh air for her, she was getting tired of just being with him in the room. She sighed, having a faint grin on her face. Oh well. It didn't matter. Just as long as she was going to be with him. That's all she could ask for.  
  
She walked through the doors, as she came out in the sunlight. She grinned even wider; the wind combing through her hair, the sky clear and blue. She walked through the grass, even with the soles of her shoes blocking it, she could still tell the grass was fresh and soft. She inhaled the fresh air, as she observed the grounds. There were trees nearby, all in a line. They were quite small, but they were fit for the scenery. She looked around, trying to find Draco.  
  
She saw a figure lying underneath a rather big tree, the shadow and shade covering up most of the figure. But as she moved closer, she saw the glimmer of his silvery blonde hair, as it was caught in the sun, and she knew it was him. She walked closer, until she was barely a foot away. She smiled down on him; his eyes were closed, and the slight breeze was ruffling his slicked back hair. A strand had fallen across his face. Hermione leaned down beside him, and raised her hand to his face, to tuck it away. She did it slowly, her fingers brushing against his forehead, and she ran her hands through his hair. Draco's eyes opened, and they brightened when he saw her. He smirked at her, and she felt her heart stop for a second.  
  
"Hey," she said, quietly.  
  
"Hey," he said back to her. He sat up, and pulled her close. He kissed her softly, and she pulled back, beaming at him. He smiled back at her, as he traced the outline of her cheek, up to her lips. He couldn't help but be so redundant; she was so beautiful.  
  
"I missed you," she whispered, and he smiled as he leaned in again, his lips almost touching hers.  
  
"I missed you too," he grinned, as he captured her mouth with his. Hermione kissed him back, their mouths molding into each other's, as he held her closely, tightly. She raised her hands and tangled them in his platinum blonde hair. His kissed were so addicting, so sweet but with a slight bite. The way he held her, the way she could feel his heart beating because they were so close, the way his hands rolled up, and back down again.. The way he kissed her with so much passion, the way his silver eyes danced and sparkled in the sunlight. The way he made her heart beat so rapidly without even touching her, and the way her body seemed to react to him..  
  
His lips were sweet, and she felt that same warmth creep up her spine and fill her. It seemed as if time froze. The birds had stopped chirping, the world had stopped spinning. Everything had died away, disappeared.. He held her closer, kissed her feverishly and hungrily.  
  
Hermione pulled back, and she laid her head on his shoulder, breathing heavily. Her lips were swollen, and she could still taste him in her mouth. Bittersweet and sugary. Draco held her close; his arms wrapped around her, as he closed his eyes, letting the breeze deafen his ears. His heartbeats had gotten too loud, and he could hear that white noise that often filled him when he was with her. Her small, warm figure was pressed against him, and he felt as if he was holding the sun herself.  
  
He could feel a glowing warmth fill him, coursing through his veins, spreading through every limb. It was if something had tapped into his blood, infecting every single thing it touched. He couldn't let go.  
  
He could feel her warm, soft breaths on his neck, and it tingled and burned pleasantly. The aroma of her invaded his nose and senses, wondering how it would taste if he had kissed her bare skin. Her small hands was entwined in his hair, and now slid down to the nape of his neck, her touch so frightenly warm, although it sent shivers down his spine. He couldn't help but try to imagine how her small, petite hands would feel against his bare skin, roaming. He felt Hermione sigh against his shoulder, and he slowly pulled back.  
  
He was in love with her, he was sure.  
  
But maybe it had developed into something more serious, more complicated. He could feel it, every time he saw her, every time he was away from her. He felt the longing spreading and growing bigger in his heart, like a cancerous tumor. Maybe he was feeling what he had never felt before in his life. He smiled down on her, caressing her cheek.  
  
Life was full of twists and turns, he knew that now.  
  
After all he fell in love with Hermione; he certainly didn't see it coming. He never would've guessed it. Never would've wanted it.  
  
But it was the best thing that had ever happened to him. She was the best thing that had ever happened to him.  
  
But maybe she had done something more serious to him, changed him.  
  
Maybe she taught him how to love.  
  
Maybe he was no longer in love with her.  
  
Maybe he loved her.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Harry stumbled out of the doors, and looked around, panting. He was looking for Hermione; he had searched everywhere, the library, knocked on her Prefect room's door. She didn't seem to be there. He had just remembered to tell her something on their way to Hogsmeade. He couldn't think of anywhere else she could be. But then he remembered.  
  
He went out here, remembering how she had admired the sky, back a couple of days ago. The sky was dark, but it was still clear to see the view, the trees..  
  
Harry froze.  
  
She looked like Hermione. She had the same wavy deep brown hair, her lips curved into that familiar smile he had seen so many times before.  
  
But she couldn't be.  
  
Draco Malfoy was there, holding her. It couldn't be. It couldn't be. She couldn't be Hermione. She just couldn't be.  
  
He prayed he was mistaken.  
  
He wished so badly that he was wrong.  
  
There was just no way. 


	16. Anger

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: don't own characters, just the plot.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Anger  
  
Harry sat in the common room, his head in his hands. He couldn't understand it. He couldn't get it out of his head.  
  
It couldn't be true.  
  
Malfoy and Hermione? No. no. NO. It couldn't be. It just couldn't be. Hermione was a beautiful, smart witch.. Surely she knew better than to be with malfoy. And, Harry cringed when he saw the couple in his head.  
  
He was holding her. He had his filthy, evil hands on her. Then he kissed her. He put his disgusting, cruel mouth on her lips. Harry could feel his anger bubbling, boiling, rising at such a searing temperature. Maybe he had put some sort of spell on her. Maybe she was just acting? Harry was shaking, his fingernails digging into his scalp.  
  
Malfoy had KISSED her. He didn't want to believe it, he wished he hadn't had seen it. So this was what she meant by 'stuff.' This was what she had been doing when they hadn't been around. Harry swallowed hard. This was his fault. He shouldn't have pushed her so far away. He had pushed her straight into Malfoy. Straight into the arms of that disgusting git. He was so angry. How long had this been going on? How long had she been meeting with him? Kissing him? How long had it been since she hated him?  
  
How long was she planning to keep this a secret from them?  
  
He just couldn't believe.. Hermione. Hermione. The girl who had the best grades in the school. The girl who had been appointed Prefect.  
  
How could she not tell them? Why didn't she tell them? They were her friends! It couldn't have slipped her mind; she was hiding it from them. That infuriated him even more. Harry let out a frustrated cry, and stood up. He grabbed a piece of paper, and hastily jotted down a letter to her. But then, all of sudden, his hand froze. Maybe she would tell them.  
  
Maybe she was going to. Maybe it had just happened today, or yesterday. Maybe she was going to tell them about it tomorrow. He sighed, heavily, and dropped his quill. He stared at the parchment, his messy and blotted handwriting, pressed hard into the paper by his shaking, angry hand. He sat down on the chair, and looked at it. He stared at it for a few minutes, trying to decide what he should do. Should he ask to meet her now, and confront her about it?  
  
Or should he wait until she told him? He thought hard, his green eyes as if trying to burn a hole into the paper.  
  
His mind was swarming with questions, demands, assumptions and horrible conclusions of her 'relationship' with Malfoy. He sighed, as he slowly took the parchment and crumpled it up into a messy and pointy ball. He threw it away, but felt as if someone had just forced a stone down his throat. He hesitated, as he tried to walk back, looking down into the trashcan. His chest was tight, and his lungs were hard; his ragged breaths were trying to shallow, but it was hard. He didn't know what he was on the verge of. He was so angry he was shaking; all he wanted to do was hear the truth out of Hermione, hear her say that he was mistaken.  
  
He closed his eyes tightly, as he could imagine his heart breaking if she would tell him that he hadn't been mistaken. That his eyes didn't deceive him. That it was true. That she had been really out there, kissing Draco Malfoy. He didn't think he could take it. This was Hermione. She should tell them, he shouldn't have to ask. He remembered Hermione saying something to him once, about finding some good in everyone. Harry had thought it was true before, but now he was just infuriated as he heard the words replaying in his mind.  
  
What good could she possibly find in a blasted scumbag like Draco Malfoy?  
  
He just couldn't figure it out, but he knew that he just didn't want to see it. He didn't want to know if there was even any good in him, let alone what it was. He didn't deserve her. She deserved someone better, someone who didn't treat her like dirt. Harry froze.  
  
He remembered observing Hermione, once in the Great Hall. Her eyes kept flickering over to.. The Slytherin table. Harry inhaled sharply, as he slapped himself mentally. He should've seen that there was something there. She was constantly looking over at the bloody table, and every time they complained about Potions, she didn't join in as usual. Well, she wouldn't join them usually, but she would at least say a word or two. But these past few days.. Not a word. She had even come out once, smiling happily. Now, that never happened in Potions. Maybe if Snape admitted that she was indeed a very bright and smart girl, but he never did. Why was she smiling?  
  
Now Harry knew. It had to do with Malfoy. So it had been going on for quite some time, now.  
  
He tightly closed his eyes again, trying to block all these thoughts about bloody Malfoy. The room went dark, and there weren't even the faintest outlines of the objects surrounding him. Usually he felt at peace, being in this world that was surrounded and embraced by the somehow serene darkness.  
  
But that peace was gone now. He couldn't find it. The silence and the blackness of his little world wasn't strong enough, no, not for this one.  
  
He didn't know how he could talk to her now. He didn't know if things would ever be the same way they had been before. He didn't know if he could take it when she would say that there was nothing wrong. He wouldn't believe her. He couldn't. Not when she had been hiding something as big and major as this from them. He thought he could trust her. All this time, she had been hiding this from them.. This, this.. This little relationship she had with Malfoy. The enemy. Didn't she know that he could just be playing her? Didn't she even think about.. Why..  
  
Harry didn't know why she was with him. He didn't know why he was with her. But he could already feel his heart buckling underneath such of this weight..  
  
He knew he couldn't take it if she said that she was in love with him. He didn't know if he could take looking into her eyes as she said those piercing words, and confirming that they were true. He didn't know if he could ever speak to her again. He didn't know how this would affect Ron, or the other Gryffindors.  
  
He didn't even know how this would affect him. He could only guess.  
  
Maybe he would be so angry and infuriated that he would hate her. Maybe he wouldn't speak to her, or act as if she had never existed. Maybe he would be there for her, doing the right thing a friend would do if the person was in trouble. But what if that friend had lied? Lied to you, lied to her best friends? What would you then?  
  
Maybe he would learn how to accept it.  
  
Maybe he could push aside these growing feelings that had spurted inside of him for quite a while now.  
  
Maybe he would be there to let her cry on his shoulder when she broke down.  
  
Or maybe he would walk away.  
  
But then maybe's never good enough. 


	17. Confrontation

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own characters, just the plot.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Confrontation  
  
Harry seemed off every morning, ever since the trip to Hogsmeade, so it seemed to Hermione. She saw that he barely talked at her, even looked at her. He seemed to be looking somewhere else during breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She couldn't get through to him, neither could Ron. She was starting to worry.. Harry had never been like this. He had never been so quiet; his face didn't look so solemn all the time.  
  
He hadn't spoken to her in a week. Now she was really worried. She tried asking him what was wrong, asked him if everything was okay. And he would just look ahead, as always, and say everything was fine. Hermione had never heard such a lie before. She barely saw him smile, his emerald eyes had lost their sparkle. Somehow she got the feeling that Harry was gone. But she just didn't know how. Or why. She caught up with him, in the corridor, coming from the library one day.  
  
"Harry!" she said, as she caught up with him. Harry glanced at her quickly, and it felt as if his gut was wrenching and twisting. He just couldn't bear to look at her. He didn't say a word to her, as he tried walking more rapidly. Hermione had to practically run to catch up with him.  
  
"Harry! Would you slow down!" she said. He didn't answer her, and Hermione grabbed his arm, and halted him. His anger was boiling up inside him. Her touch had activated so many nerves and emotions.. He couldn't take it. There was anger, sadness, frustration, betrayal.. And something else he wasn't supposed to feel. He turned to her, his green eyes blazing.  
  
"What's wrong, Harry?" She asked, her hand still on his arm. Harry thought as if her hands were burning a hole through his sleeve. He jerked his hand away, and couldn't help but feel as if it had been dipped in icy cold water, as he jerked it away from her warm grasp.  
  
"Nothing!" he hissed. Hermione could see he was angry.. She had never seen him this way before. His green eyes were dark and flashing, and she could feel the anger in him, making the air seem colder and hard.  
  
"No! No, it's not nothing, Harry!" she yelled at him. "Everyday, you say it's nothing, and I'm tired of you always lying!" she said. Harry felt something snap inside him. He swiftly grabbed Hermione's arm, and jerked her forward. Hermione winced as his hand gripped her arm so tightly. She could feel his grasp getting tighter and tighter, and she could almost feel his fingers digging into her flesh, even with her robe sleeve separating her skin from his hand.  
  
His eyes flickered dangerously, as his hand squeezed her arm tighter. He was so close that he could smell her, and see the fear in her eyes.  
  
"Lie?! I'm lying?!" he yelled at her. "Do you know what I've been knowing for a week, Hermione?! A WHOLE BLOODY WEEK?! What I've been waiting for you to tell me and Ron?!" Hermione could feel her heart beating faster and faster, and her breathing get hard. His hand on her arm was painful, and her eyes were beginning to tear, but she didn't care for that. Harry looked at her with such hatred and anger.. She no longer knew him. This wasn't like him. This wasn't him. Hermione felt a whimper seize in her throat, as he leaned closer, the anger burning inside him.  
  
"I saw you," he said, his voice low, hard and dangerous. He was on the verge of screaming out, of yelling out at her.. He had to try so hard to keep his voice this way. His chest was so tight, and his lungs were restricted, and held down. His breathing was heavy and rapid, but he felt as if it wasn't enough.  
  
"I saw you, that day we went to Hogsmeade," Hermione froze, feeling a certain stinging numbness fill her. No.. No.. Not Harry. "I saw you, with Malfoy." Hermione was sure her blood had turned cold. Her heart had stopped beating. She felt this slow, crushing collapsing inside of her. Like everything had fallen down and crashed into ruins. Suddenly she was numb to the painful grasp Harry had on her. Everything had fallen down. Everything was gone.  
  
She saw the hurt in Harry's eyes. She was such a fool. How had she not seen this before? How couldn't she just piece all of it together? Harry had been staring straight at the Slytherin table.. He hadn't been talking to her. He hated her. He was infuriated just by thinking of her.  
  
Hermione felt as if her heart had just suddenly stopped working, and crashed. Harry, seeing her sudden shock, let go of her arm. He could feel his throat seizing up, his chest and heart felt as if it was chained to a heavy weight.  
  
"Harry," she stammered. But Harry had already backed away, his eyes were filled with hurt and pain.. Betrayal. Hermione was crushed. This was what she had been afraid of. This was what.. She had done this. She had done this. It was all her fault.  
  
Harry shook his head, and turned around, walking down the hall. He had to get away from here. From her. Although, even if he had managed to escape to a place of pure solitude and silence, he knew. The silence would be deafening and torture. Thoughts of her would invade him easily, and he would feel everything all over again. It was already too painful. Suddenly, he heard footsteps behind him. A hand gripped his shoulder, and he turned around. There was Hermione.  
  
It hurt just to see her.  
  
"Harry, you don't understand," she said, in a strained voice. She was trying her hardest not to cry. Her chest was tight and constrained, and she felt as if her lungs weren't functioning properly. She couldn't breathe right. She felt as if she couldn't breathe at all.  
  
"Harry, please just let me explain," she said, her voice wavering. Harry raised his hand and gently slipped off her hand from his shoulder. Her touch, even with his robes on, burned him. Hermione just stared into his eyes, pleading for him to let her explain.  
  
"I don't even want to know," he said, his voice low and forceful. Hermione could hear the pain and damage in his voice.  
  
"Harry, I was going to tell you, I was-"  
  
"Then why didn't you?" His voice suddenly rising. "Why did you wait so long? Did you think it was so bloody fun? Don't you think we deserved to know, Hermione?!" He breathed heavily, fuming.  
  
"I waited for a BLOODY WEEK! I waited that long for you to tell me, hoping, praying you would. Tell me anything at least, if I was mistaken, if I was right. But, no. You didn't tell us anything. Not a word. Do you know how it feels?! To know that your best friend is keeping something from you, and waiting even though you're bursting to ask them?! Do you know how bloody hard it was to watch you, thinking that every night you spent in your Prefect common room was spent with Malfoy?!"  
  
Hermione felt as if he had just literally stabbed her in the heart. She felt that painful tug, ripping it into pieces, crumbling. She could feel the acid like dark fluid seeping out, flooding out.  
  
"I was going to tell you!" she said, the tears finally showing through. " I was!"  
  
"What were you waiting for, Hermione?!"  
  
"I just didn't know how you would react, if you would be angry with me, or if you would just accept it, and let me be happy-"  
  
"Well, now you know, don't you?! You got your wish; now you know how I would react." He glared at her, and she was breaking under his gaze. Her hope for them understanding was shattered; the pieces too small to ever piece back together. The fragile pieces were there, never to be put back together again.  
  
"Tell me the truth, Hermione," his voice suddenly got quiet. "Tell me what I saw."  
  
She let some tears slip, as she tasted the salty drops in her mouth. "I don't think I can tell you what you want to hear," she said, her voice shaking. Harry felt his heart fall.  
  
"It's true, I was out there with Draco. I'm in love with him." Hearing those words were the most painful thing he ever had to do. That's what he was afraid of. Those words. Hearing them from her mouth. Harry looked at her, his green eyes filling with hurt and pain.. He collected a ragged breath, before speaking.  
  
"Just tell Ron, for goodness sakes, Hermione. Let him have a better way of finding out than me," he said, backing away.  
  
Hermione was sobbing, her cheeks stained with tears. "Harry," she said.  
  
"Please, you've got to understand.. I'm sorry.."  
  
His retreating back stopped, as he swallowed hard to say his last words to her.  
  
"I've tried, Hermione. But trying alone is never good enough." And with that, he walked away, as Hermione sank on her knees, the cold floor underneath her chilling her bones. But she couldn't care less. She dug her head in her hands, sobbing, trying to let it out.  
  
This was all her fault. This, everything. She should've told him, she knew she should've. And now she had lost him.  
  
She had lost Harry.  
  
She could feel her tears seep through the sleeves of her robes, and her hands filling with the bittersweet drops.. As if trying to catch them. He didn't understand. He couldn't. And she knew, she had known.  
  
She cried.  
  
Because it was all her fault. Because of Harry. Because she didn't have the heart to tell him.  
  
Because he had found out.  
  
She couldn't feel the atmosphere get colder, for she was already at the coldest place she could ever be. She was alone, her tears dropping onto the floor, making a puddle. She couldn't get up on her feet and walk to her room; she didn't even have the heart to look up. She had done this to herself. She should've seen it coming. But the weird thing was, she had. But she had let her false hope, or that lie she had built up in herself, saying that they would understand, grow bigger and bigger. That they would let her be with Draco, without choosing between them. She had wanted to believe it.  
  
And she was blinded. She was the one who had wrapped this blindfold on her eyes, wandering endlessly in the fog, pretending and convincing herself that she knew where she was going.  
  
But she didn't know. She hadn't the slightest clue.  
  
They had called her the smartest witch to enter Hogwarts in centuries.  
  
She couldn't help but think of how incredulously wrong they were on that one. 


	18. Betrayal

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: don't own characters, just the plot.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
well.. that was certainly.. well, I think the last chapter, was sad.. And well, I think it's safe to say that Harry did have a little crush on her.. 'He couldn't take it. There was anger, sadness, frustration, betrayal.. And something else he wasn't supposed to feel. ' That was supposed to give out a hint that he had feelings for her, that he wasn't supposed to feel. Especially now, that he saw her with Draco. I don't know why I'm always so mean to Harry, but I guess it's because every story needs drama. A story that doesn't have a least bit of Drama, to me, is not a very good one. Well, in this chapter, it's also very sad.. And, sorry if Ron's more self-contained than usual. You have to understand why Harry reacted more differently than him, is because he has feelings for her. While as Ron, he used to like her once upon a time, but that's all in the past.  
  
Well, I hope you enjoy. And sorry I updated so late. Yesterday, I was supposed to put up 'Confrontation,' but I had to go to LA for my grandma's bday party.. so forgive me?  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
'You should know by now  
  
that the darkest hour  
  
is when your broken heart goes down  
  
it's a bitter end  
  
when the sweet begins  
  
Grace is sufficiency'  
  
'Innocence Again'  
  
by Switchfoot  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Betrayal  
  
Draco waited in the common room, wondering what was taking Hermione so long. He checked the clock, and it was about fifteen minutes until curfew. He sighed, looking back at the lazy dancing fire. He felt a slight smile spread across his face, as he remembered their many encounters when the fire was weak but alive.  
  
He remembered when they had first talked, with the fire witnessing how he had watched her rather than reading his book. He remembered the way she had told him about her little red book for the first time, and her halting when he had gotten lost in her eyes. And he remembered feeling his heart skip when she had started laughing. Her laugh was soft and gentle, but it filled his ears like an unavoidable holy mist.  
  
He sighed, fond on collecting his memories, as he slowly closed his eyes.  
  
Suddenly, he heard the door swing open, and his eyes bolted open, as he heard sobbing. He turned, to see that it was Hermione.  
  
Hermione looked at Draco, her cheeks still wet from her tears, and her body quivering because of the sudden coldness she had felt. Draco suddenly went over to her, and she collapsed in his arms, her tears staining his robes. Draco wrapped his arms around her small, warm body. She was sobbing fiercely, and she was trembling; but as Draco held her more closely and tightly, she could feel his warmth spread to her. Draco was worried; he didn't know what had happened, why she was crying. But it pained him to see her this way.  
  
Finally, when her sobs seemed to weaken, he pulled back. His dark silver eyes flickered with worry, as he cupped her face and wiped away her tears.  
  
"What happened?" He whispered to her. Hermione didn't know how he would react to the fact that their secret was now.. Found out by one of the people he wanted least to know. She was afraid, that he would push her away suddenly, and pretend as if nothing had happened between them. Although she knew Draco wouldn't do that. Only if her heart could stop that cloud of fear and doubt from growing bigger. She swallowed hard, as she spoke, her voice trembling and soft.  
  
"He found out, Draco," she said. "Harry found out." Draco froze. He felt his arms go limp, but instead of pulling away from her, he held her tighter.  
  
So it had happened. So this was what he was afraid of. He looked down at Hermione, and he saw the pain in her eyes.. Fear. His heart buckled as he saw what she was thinking in her glossy, wet eyes.  
  
She was afraid that he was going to leave her. She was afraid that he was going to push her away, and act as if nothing had happened. He held her closer, as he leaned his head forward, and whispered into her ear.  
  
"I won't leave you, Hermione." And what he was saying was true. Even if he was going to leave her, he couldn't. He didn't have the heart to. His heart was where she was. Even if he had wanted to, had planned to.. He couldn't bear to hurt her.  
  
Especially when being away from her hurt him too.  
  
Hermione smiled, as another tear slipped and rolled down her cheek. She rested her head on his chest, as he stroked her hair.  
  
"What are we going to do?" she whispered to him.  
  
He sighed. "What else can we do? Maybe.. We can let everyone else find out."  
  
Hermione couldn't help but smile at his answer. But she knew she had something else to do first. She pulled back, and Draco smiled at her faintly.  
  
"Are you sure, you want everyone to find out, Draco?" she asked him, her voice quiet and gentle. He smiled at her.  
  
"Yes."  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
At breakfast, she had tried to catch Harry's eye, but he didn't pay any attention to her. But she did see him, as he looked at Ron, his eyes filled with worry. He was worried about how he would take it too. Hermione could feel her heart.. Crumbling, watching Harry completely ignore her. He was angry with her. He hated her. She couldn't take it, even through it was true, as she looked down at her plate again, biting her lip.  
  
If Harry had taken it that way.. Ron would surely be worse. Unless, unless there was something Harry wasn't telling her. Hermione sighed, but her breaths were shaky and ragged. She was so bloody nervous she couldn't stand it.  
  
She was going to tell him. Tonight.  
  
+++++++++++  
  
Hermione waited in the Gryffindor common room, as though it was twenty minutes after curfew. She had asked Ron through a letter, and he nodded in reply. She knew that he knew this would explain about Harry, for she saw Ron look worriedly at his friend.  
  
She knew Ron had no idea what was going on, and she couldn't blame him. Of course, maybe he had liked her once upon a time, but crushes as silly as those don't last. Suddenly, she heard footsteps, and sighed, wringing her hands nervously. She turned, expecting to see Ron, but there stood two figures. She froze.  
  
Harry was here.  
  
Ron looked at her, pleading for her to understand. "I asked him to be here," he said quietly. Hermione nodded, as Harry's emerald eyes seemed to penetrate through hers.. She could feel her heart ache, and that familiar falling and crushing sensation. She quickly turned away, not able to take all those feelings rushing at her again.  
  
"You'd better sit down," she said to Ron, as she stood up. Ron nodded, as he sat down on the red couch, watching her. Harry chose to stand, watching her, watching him. Hermione swallowed hard, as she nervously cast a glance at Harry. His face was covered with the shadow, but she could feel his eyes on her. She turned back to Ron.  
  
"It's about Dra-Malfoy," she said quietly. She mentally slapped herself for her mistake. Ron just looked at her intently.  
  
"He hasn't done anything to you has he?" he immediately asked, and Hermione shook her head. She thought she was getting a slight case of hysteria.  
  
"no."  
  
"Well then.. What is it?" He asked her. Then there was silence as Ron tried to think of why she could be bringing up Malfoy.. he felt his blood run cold. He quickly looked up, his assumption written all over his face.  
  
"You.. And Malfoy?" he stammered. He was horrified, as he looked over at Harry. Harry had the same solemn face, but Ron got the feeling that there was something else. Something else much more deeper that Harry was choosing to hide. Hermione nodded.  
  
"Me.. And Draco.. We.. We're together," she said, her voice shaking. She could see how horrified Ron was.. She had to look away when he looked at Harry.  
  
Ron felt his anger boil, as he stood up.  
  
"Malfoy? That git?" he said, his voice forcefully strained to stay quiet, so he wouldn't wake the others. He turned to Harry.  
  
"How long has this been going on?" He said, his voice rising. "Did you know about this?" Just then, Ron froze, and he looked at Hermione, angrily.  
  
"So this is why. This is why Harry's been like this.. This is why you two aren't talking, why Harry can't even bring himself to talk about you, to look at you." He looked at her with such hatred and anger, that she couldn't help but feel tears sting her eyes again. Her lungs felt as if they had been poisoned with something other than mortal air, and her heart.. Breaking.. Collapsing.. Falling into ruins.  
  
"Because you fell in love with Malfoy," he said, his voice was strained and hard. She knew that he was trying everything he could not to yell at her. Somehow she wanted him to yell at her, to shout at her, scream at her until she couldn't hear. Maybe she deserved this.  
  
Yeah, she deserved this.  
  
Hermione couldn't take it. A deafening silence followed after his comment, and she could feel both pairs of eyes on her. She didn't have the heart to look up and see their disgust for her, and their pain.. But she did. And she thought she didn't have any strength left to walk out the common room, let alone stand.  
  
She saw that look in their eyes. She saw what she had feared to see, what she never wanted to see in her friend's eyes. And it was because of her, it was directed at her.  
  
She saw betrayal. Betrayal underneath all that anger, hurt, pain..  
  
Betrayal. Hers.  
  
She brought her trembling hand up to wipe away her tears, and she looked at them, one last time.  
  
"I'm sorry," she whispered to them, for she felt as if she just couldn't speak any louder.. Not while their gazes hurt more than she could take.  
  
She turned and walked out the common room, leaving Harry and Ron in the weak darkness.. Wondering what had just happened. What had Hermione done. What they had just lost their friend over. 


	19. Coping

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: don't own the characters, just the plot.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
thank you so so much to the reviewers!! You all make me so happy that it's ridiculous.. haha.. Thanks to Coloured Grey for liking my other fic, S.E.R.S.!  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Coping  
  
Hermione cried herself to sleep that night, hoping that if she let out all her sadness and guilt, that she would be all out of tears. But the tears overflowed, staining her pillow.. It didn't end. And the feeling was still there. That gut twisting, crushing, sinking feeling..  
  
It was still there.  
  
She wiped her eyes, and she tried to shallow her breathing as she stared up at the ceiling. Her eyes felt as if someone had sucked out all the moisture out of them, and it hurt alone just to blink. The room was cold, and it seemed to be getting colder and colder. The window was shut, and the warmth spell that she had put up in the room had no affect. She clenched her fists, a handful of the thick comforter in her hands. She couldn't forget it. She could say that she didn't care but that was just a horrible lie. She couldn't even pretend to not care. Her heart seemed to be breaking down underneath all weight.. The burden.  
  
She closed her eyes, hoping that the sandman would let her get at least a few hours of peace that she could not find elsewhere.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Hermione made her way to the Great Hall; tired, groggy, depressed. She felt as if the air was musty and she had breathed it in and out too many times before. The atmosphere was old and grey, dead and silent. The sunlight, the greetings of the new day did not seem to reach her, let alone cheer her up. She wasn't looking forward to her classes today. And she had a feeling she wouldn't be for quite a while.  
  
She hesitated before entering the Great Hall, digging deep in herself to find that old light. It wasn't there. It had been suffocated by that weight from the previous night. She sighed, and walked in. She avoided Harry's and Ron's eyes, also everyone else's. But she took a seat in a lone corner, and she heard some whispers and mumbles as she passed. She felt the air.. It smelt so dusty, felt so old. She couldn't breathe it in. She closed her eyes for a few seconds, reminding herself to breathe and that everything was going to be okay. Just fine. She couldn't think of a better lie to say to herself.  
  
She opened her eyes just in time to catch a few people looking her way, but they turned suddenly, when her eyes roamed over to them. Food appeared on her plate, and she picked up her silverware, but she didn't feel like eating. So deciding she wasn't in the mood, she put it down and just took a gulp of her pumpkin juice. It was sweet, cold and refreshing, as it slid down her throat. She put her cup down, feeling quite a bit better, but as she looked over at the tables ahead of her, her fellow Gryffindors.. She felt her mood darken once again. She saw them laughing along with their friends, telling stories. She couldn't help but feel so angry at them. But she knew it wasn't their fault. It was hers.  
  
She once had that. And now she had lost it.  
  
She sighed heavily, just trying to release that heavy weight upon her heart. But it wouldn't budge, it wouldn't shift. It just wasn't fair.  
  
She looked up, and almost immediately her eyes fell on Draco, as if he was magnetic. He was staring intently at her, his fork in his still hand. He had no expression on his face, but his deep pools of silver were just as captivating and mesmerizing as before. She thought she could see forever in them; anticipated but unknown. Hopeful but dangerous. Unexpected but anxious. She was lost in them again, as she felt the world just swirl into colors; it all just became a big colorful blur. Except Draco, and the feeling he had always seemed to trigger inside of her. She felt that same rushing feeling in her ears, as if the wind was trying to whisper its secrets into her ear, which was soft but hypnotizing. A strong warm wave blanket her, cover her, relieving all her wounds just for that moment. Her heart was beating in her ears, and she felt as if her worries and guilt had faded away.. But as soon as their gaze broke, she knew.. She would feel reality crash around her once again, making all her sadness and regrets appear.. She would feel that same sinking, crumbling that often happened inside of her when all she needed was for him to be beside her again.. For him to be holding her.. Telling her it will all be okay..  
  
Though she knew it was just a lie, he had some reassurance in his voice that she couldn't help but believe. Even if it was just for but a mere minute. She just needed to believe in something.. She needed at least a small drop of hope.. And he was all she needed.  
  
Being with him made her believe that there was still some good in the world, for some strange reason. He gave her hope, although he hadn't uttered a word. She felt safe in his arms, and in his arms was where she wanted to be forever.  
  
Because maybe then reality wouldn't reach her there. That cruel reality that she grew up in all her life, the cruel reality that always seemed to be taking away all she was grateful for. Whenever she was with him, it seemed, as if time was still.. Like everything had paused for just second, just for them. It seemed, eternity wasn't enough when she was with Draco.  
  
Their gaze was broken, and Hermione was back in the cold, malicious world.. She looked down, feeling the weight come back, pressing her hopes down.. She couldn't help but feel so lost. All of her life, she thought she had known where she was going, what she was going to do.  
  
When all along it was all a lie she built up in herself to make herself feel as if she was just as good as everyone else. Like it substituted and took the place of everything she didn't have. But it didn't. It couldn't possibly. Lies weren't permanent, they just took down everything you had worked for, everything you had done to achieve that goal.  
  
Everything you thought you had.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Snape wrote down specific instructions and ingredients on the board, as everyone's eyes trailed the cold-hearted teacher. He looked at them, the same hard expression on his face.  
  
"Class," he said dryly, looking at each one of them. "Today we will be working on the Aundrefain potion, a potion, or rather, a serum, that temporarily heals any emotional distresses a person has at the moment." He slowly walked around the classroom, then stopped.  
  
"Partners.. Well, let's just say I'm in the mood for some house point deductions, so I will let you choose them for today." He turned and glared at Harry and Ron, and then at Hermione. Hermione just looked at him, expressionless.  
  
"Well, get on your business then." People chattered excitedly, as Hermione saw her housemates gather up with their friends, awfully glad to get to choose their own partners. She saw Harry and Ron, who were already starting on their potion, both awfully quiet.. She looked down on her desk, biting her lip. But then she saw a shadow cast over the desk. She looked up, and who else stood there but Draco Malfoy.  
  
He smirked at her, his eyes glittering. "Well, how about it Hermione? Partners?" This caused Hermione to smile, feeling the same butterflies in her stomach, bouncing off her insides. She grinned at him.  
  
"Of course." Draco was still smiling as he took a seat next to her, and he wrote down the instructions on the board. Hermione let her eyes linger on him a while longer, as she saw how a strand of his platinum blonde hair fell across his face as he wrote, his quill curving at his A's, and looping at his O's. She smiled one last time, looking at him, his presence comforting her, as she turned to her parchment and did the same.  
  
Harry heard a few whispers behind him, as Ron and him concentrated on getting the instructions down. He heard Hermione's name.. He turned around to see what it was, and his eyes immediately fell on the pair. Draco Malfoy and Hermione. He could help but feel his gut twist inside, as he watched the two. Neither had disgust written on their faces, but he noticed Hermione was smiling faintly, contently. He turned back to his work, as he closed his eyes and felt guilt and anger wash over him. It hurt him to know that he had never made her smile that way. And Draco Malfoy, without even trying, had managed to.  
  
Snape looked over at his working students, each seemed to be concentrating.. He rasied an eyebrow at one pair. He watched them, and he wasn't mistaken. It was Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger. He could have been positive that they hated each other, considering that she was friends with Potter. Just then, he saw his star student, Draco Malfoy look up at the girl beside him, smiling. And Hermione Granger, the girl beside him, also quite a student (although he would never admit the fact), smile at back at him.  
  
Severus Snape, as unfamiliar and strange as it was, felt a smirk tug on the corners of his mouth, at the irony of it all. 


	20. What I Need to Know

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: don't own characters, just the plot.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
thanks to all the reviewers!  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
What I need to Know  
  
Draco packed up all his papers, as Professor Snape dismissed them. But as Draco was going to go out the door with Hermione, he heard Snape tell him to stay. Hermione stopped, as she looked at Snape curiously, behind Draco. Draco just nodded at her, and gave her hand a squeeze, before letting go and turning to the teacher.  
  
Draco looked around the classroom, not used to seeing it so empty. He turned back to Snape, as he looked at Draco, his eyes expressionless.  
  
"Well, Mr. Malfoy, that was quite an interesting choice you made in class today," Snape said dryly. Draco knew this was about Hermione, and he didn't want to give out any unnecessary information. Especially to a Professor like Snape. Who knew what went on his deluded mind.  
  
"I clearly don't see what the point is for this," Draco drawled. Snape raised an eyebrow at him.  
  
"I am just warning you, Mr. Malfoy," he said lowly. "I do not want you to be getting in any trouble that you yourself cannot get out of." He looked at Draco, a dark expression on his face. "Especially with a Gryffindor as Ms.Granger."  
  
Draco smirked at his teacher. "Professor, I think I know what I'm getting myself into."  
  
Snape nodded. "Very well than, Mr.Malfoy. You may leave." Draco nodded and walked out of the room, chuckling lightly at their conversation. He wondered what Snape thought was happening between him and Hermione.. Or maybe his teacher thought that it was all some crude trick? He couldn't say that it wasn't, if he didn't ask. He didn't want to share any information about his private life, especially to a single and probably hopeless Professor as Snape. He stared ahead, a faint smile on his face, as he heard only but the clicking of his heels bouncing off the walls. Just then he heard footsteps behind him, rapid and loud. Draco's eyes narrowed, at who it could possibly be. The person seemed to be getting closer and closer, until Draco knew he was only about a couple of feet behind.  
  
"Malfoy." Draco stopped. He recognized that voice. He turned around, slowly, and surprise surprise, it was Harry Potter. Draco could almost sense danger, as Harry came closer, his green eyes dark and flashing. Draco glared at him.  
  
"What do you want, Potter?" He snapped. Harry was now only a foot away from him, his hand clutching his wand tightly.  
  
"What do you want with Hermione?" Harry asked, his voice low and dodgy.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about," Draco said, his voice hard. Harry suddenly lunged towards him, and Draco was against the wall, Harry's fists grabbing a handful of his robes. Draco could feel his anger boiling.  
  
"Get your filthy hands off me, Potter!" he hissed.  
  
"What do you want with her?!" Harry yelled. Draco raised his hands, and forced Harry's hands off him, still leaning against the wall. Harry's breathing was ragged and heavy, while Draco was fuming.  
  
"Don't. You. Dare. Touch. Me," Draco said, dangerously. His silver eyes flashed, and his anger was seeping in deeper and had now leaked into his veins, spreading throughout his body.  
  
"If you've done anything to her," Harry threatened him. " I promise you, you won't have a reason to be going here anymore."  
  
Draco scowled at him, his gaze getting more intense. But Harry didn't budge. "Rest assured, Potter," he hissed. "I haven't done anything more to her than you have."  
  
Draco's deep eyes flashed, and he shoved past Harry and started down the corridor. Harry stared after him, if looks could kill, he would be down on the floor by now.  
  
Draco cursed under his breath, making his way to the Great Hall. Just then he saw a brown haired girl walk out of the Great hall, book bag slung on her shoulder. She started walking towards the stairs, and Draco called after her.  
  
Hermione stopped, and turned to where she had heard her name called. She smiled as she saw Draco, and he couldn't help but feel a grin tug on the corners of his mouth, even with the event that had occurred a few minutes ago.  
  
"Hey," she smiled. Draco caught up to her, and he slipped the book bag off her shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her, and Hermione couldn't care less about the fallen books on the floor. He smiled down on her, a silvery strand loose across his face. She felt everything warm up inside of her, and it was a kind of warmth that not even the sun could give. It filled her from the tips of her toes, to the strands of her hair, and it kept spreading, overflowing. She couldn't help but feel as if everything was right when she was in his arms. He grinned as he leaned in and kissed her, and she wrapped her hands around his neck, feeling his sweet mouth upon hers, tasting the kisses she could never get used to, and longed for. It was a passionate, but short kiss, as they pulled back. But she couldn't help but notice that his grin got bigger. She chuckled lightly, as she tucked that loose strand back. He raised an eyebrow at her, not finding anything amusing.  
  
"What's so funny?"  
  
"Nothing," she whispered, because then Draco's hand was on her cheek, fitting as if his hand was made for holding her this way, and his eyes captured her again. She could never speak loud enough when he was near her, or touched her. Although he always seemed to hear her.  
  
Draco's eyes traveled her face, captured by her radiance and beauty. He had never known someone could be so beautiful without even trying to be.  
  
"You're beautiful," he whispered to her, and she felt her heart flip, and as if on cue, the bouncing butterflies in her stomach went into hyper speed. No body had ever told her that before, but of course she never asked, but.. Her? Beautiful? She had never thought she'd hear those words directed to her. She smiled faintly, as his fingers were now tracing the outline of her face, the tip of her nose, the edges of her lips. He leaned in, slowly, and gave her another kiss. He held her closer, more tightly, as her fingers entangled themselves in his hair, deepening the kiss. Draco felt those same sparks, embers, crackling up his veins, the white noise in his ears. He wasn't aware if anyone was watching, and right now he couldn't care less. Even if Professor Snape himself were standing behind them. They ended the kiss slowly, and they pulled back, the sweet taste of each other still lingering on their lips.  
  
Draco, never taking his eyes off her, bent down and got her book bag. He slipped it on her shoulder, and Hermione grinned.  
  
"Where were you off to?" He asked her, quietly.  
  
"Up to my dorm. Wasn't feeling so hungry," she said, not wanting to feel the warmth of his embrace untangle around her. Draco looked at the Great Hall's doors, then turned back to her.  
  
He grinned, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. " I'll join you."  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Harry watched the two walk up the stairs, Malfoy and Hermione talking brightly to each other. He felt sick, his gut wrenching and turning inside. He couldn't take it, yet he had watched the two. He leaned against the wall, and tried to swallow the sudden lump in his throat. He felt as if guilt was shoving a stone down his throat, and that sinking, crumbling feeling inside of him..  
  
In all his life he had never felt his way.  
  
Maybe it was because he had just watched his best friend kiss his archenemy.  
  
Maybe it was because he knew he was too hard on her.  
  
Maybe because he knew it was his fault, and that he had pushed her to Malfoy.  
  
Or maybe because out of all the times to find out he was in love with her, it had to be now.  
  
He got the feeling that it was all of the above. 


	21. Come Clean

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: don't own characters, just the plot.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
No, this chapter is NOT NAMED AFTER the Hilary Duff song..  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
'I turn everything over  
  
Rumor has it you love me  
  
Rumor has it the world turns upside down  
  
Rumor has it my only hope is you  
  
And the rumors are true  
  
I turn everything over'  
  
-'I Turn Everything Over'  
  
by Switchfoot  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Come Clean  
  
Hermione walked up to the common room, with Draco. She set her books down on the couch, as she sat down with him. She smiled, as he wrapped his arms around her, positioning her to lean on him.  
  
"What did Snape have to talk to you about?" She asked him. Draco laughed, his soft chuckle ringing in her ears.  
  
"He just noticed that we partnered up. Without being forced to. I think he knows what's going on between us, at least he expects it."  
  
"Well that wouldn't be so surprising. It did raise a few eyebrows." Draco smiled, but then his expression darkened when he remembered his little run in with Harry in the corridor.  
  
"I take it things aren't going so well with you and Potter?" he suddenly asked. Hermione sighed as she closed her eyes slowly. She remembered his words, the look in both of her friends eyes.. It hurt too much just to think about it.  
  
"It's horrible," she whispered. "They won't talk to me.. And.. I just can't.." She swallowed hard. "I just feel so bad."  
  
"Take it Potter went totally ballistic? Well that was expected." Hermione sensed something in his voice.. She thought he was hiding something. It was about Harry.  
  
"You.. Harry hasn't done anything to you, has he?" Draco sighed, as he ran a hand through his hair.  
  
"He just asked me what I wanted with you," he said, his voice awfully quiet. Hermione turned away, her lungs felt as if they were being restricted once again. Draco looked at her, the way she tried to hide the pain and hurt she had received from all of this.. He wished there was something he could do to ease her, to make her forget. He thought just a moment to try to make her problems disappear would be enough, for him, but every time he saw her this way.. He was never content. He knew she was breaking underneath all of this, and if he could just figure out what he could do to lift the burden just a bit.. Maybe then he wouldn't feel so crushed when he saw her like this.  
  
"Why can't he just understand?" She whispered, her voice breaking. She felt tears coming from behind her eyes again, and she tried her best to force them there. She tried her best not to seem weak, not to seem as if.. She wasn't reconstructable, as if she was ruined. Although she was, behind the mask, underneath it all. Draco brought comfort, yes, and other things she could only thank God for, but.. What if he wasn't there? What if, what would she do when she was alone, and caught by all this again? What could she do? She hated herself for seeming so weak, for being such a weakling. For letting these tears slip out when she didn't want them to. For letting her lungs become so held down, her vision to get so blurry. She hated herself for crying even though she knew that they did absolutely nothing.  
  
Hermione sniffled, as she wiped her tears away on her sleeve. But even with all her will to make them stop, they kept coming. Draco looked at her, worry and concern in his silver eyes.  
  
"Hermione.." He said. All he wanted to do was make her stop crying, make her forget about her bloody friends. He couldn't help but feel a crushing feeling inside him as every tear slipped out, and she tried her best to cover it up. She let out a ragged sigh, putting her hand down, as the flow eventually stopped.  
  
"I hate seeing you like this, Hermione," Draco said to her quietly. She heard the depth and seriousness in his voice, and she could tell that he had meant it. She nodded, as he held her tightly, pressing his forehead on her shoulder.  
  
"I hate seeing you like this, knowing I can't do anything about it," he said. Hermione smiled, faintly, at his words.  
  
"You make me happy, Draco," she whispered to him, as she put her hand on top of his, on her stomach. "That's all I could ask for."  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Harry sat in the common room, with his red haired friend, staring into the fireplace, the fire dancing and flickering. Ron looked over at him, worried and slightly confused. Harry had been so quiet, ever since Hermione's confession.. Ron looked down. He couldn't blame him. Her with Malfoy? It was too hard to swallow it down. And knowing Harry, it must have been ten times more difficult. Ron had always known that his two friends were closer, and he had no problem with it. He could see Harry was happy with Hermione around, and she was happy with him around too. He had always known how to treat her right and also how to talk to her.  
  
He looked back up at him, and he knew there had to be something. Ron sensed there was something, something Harry was hiding but was clearly important. Somehow Ron had a clue as if to what it was, but he just couldn't place it. He could see that it was troubling his raven haired friend, for he always had this far away look in his eyes, as if remembering, realizing.. Then he always saw a flicker of pain. He was so curious, but he was also very observant. Ron had noticed Harry's eyes wander to Hermione, and linger on her more than it should. But then, watching Harry watch her.. He saw the glaze of hurt and pain.. But there was something else. Something much more deeper, something that caused this situation more painful for him than anyone else. Ron thought Harry should've told him, he would've.. But maybe, maybe he just.. Maybe Ron had to force it out of him.  
  
"Harry?" Ron asked, but Harry didn't budge. His deep emerald eyes remained on the fire.  
  
"yeah," he said.  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
"Just fine."  
  
"You don't look fine to me."  
  
"Well, everything is."  
  
Ron sighed, running a hand through his fiery red hair. "Harry, mate, please don't lie to me. I could read you like a book." Harry turned to him, finally, but his expression was empty.  
  
Ron looked at him, searching for any emotion in his eyes. "Mate, I'm sorry about Hermione.." Harry suddenly turned away, and Ron knew he had struck something by mentioning her name. So it had to do with her, he was definitely sure.  
  
"Is there something you want to tell me?" Ron quietly asked his friend. "Maybe about a certain brown haired Gryffindor named Herm-"  
  
"Knock it off, Ron," Harry snapped. Ron grinned playfully.  
  
"So there is something then." Harry sighed, as he tried to focus on the fire again. But his heart was heavy, and he could feel that same stone being shoved down his throat.  
  
"Harry.. If there's something then you've got to tell me."  
  
"Why, Ron? So you could tell me exactly to solve the problem?" He snapped at him, and Ron was losing his patience.  
  
"Look, all I'm trying to do is help you, and I can't if you're being so bloody stubborn," Ron said to him. "So you can tell me, or not. But if you don't, then I'm not going to give a damn if you mope around like a blasted dog who got kicked out of it's owner's house."  
  
Harry sighed, as he heard the hint of frustration and anger in his friend's voice. Harry never took his eyes off the fire.  
  
"It's about Hermione," Harry said quietly. Ron waited for him to say more, listening attentively. "I saw her, that day we went to Hogsmeade, and I went back to.. Ask her something." Ron got a clue as if to where this was going.  
  
"I saw her with Malfoy, underneath the tree, outside.. And I, I got so angry. I waited for her to tell us, for a week. I waited a week, hoping she'd eventually tell us, but.." Harry paused. "She never did. So one day, when I was walking down the corridor, she caught up with me, asking me what was wrong. Why I haven't spoken to you or her, why I can't even bear to look at her." Harry finally turned to Ron, his green eyes filled with hurt, regret, pain.. Guilt.  
  
"And I just went off on her. I was so angry, Ron.. You don't understand.. It's like, everything about her, everything she said, I was just reminded that Malfoy.." He stopped, suddenly, as if trying to find the right words. Harry swallowed.  
  
"We ignored her Ron, we let the whole Hagrid business push her away. Right into the arms of Malfoy. I let that happen. I let.. I let her fall in love with him. And I can't help but think if we had just told her, then-"  
  
"Harry, Hagrid asked us not to tell anyone. Even Hermione. And as hard as that was, we had to keep our word, Harry. It's not your fault this happened, Harry. It's not your fault she fell in love with him."  
  
"I know, but.. I could've prevented it. I just.. I can't let it go. I can't let her go."  
  
"Harry.. I have a feeling there's something more to this," Ron said quietly. "You could tell me."  
  
Harry looked at his friend, still unsure. But he knew he had to tell someone, before he burst. He could only hide or hold back so many things.  
  
"There is," Harry said, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. He looked back at the fire, and the crackling flames were week and tired, for no one had tended it.  
  
"I'm in love with her." 


	22. Asked Sacrifices

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: don't own characters, just the plot.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
' Everything I know  
Tells me she's everything That I could hope for  
Everything I know Tells me I can't let her walk away  
*I took my time to find the words I hoped she'd feel the same  
  
'Cause I want someone to share my smile  
To share the pain To be there when the sea turns gray  
To share the joy For better or worse  
  
And I thought that it might've been her  
  
Wonder if she knows The way I saw her soul Light up my life  
Wonder if she knows The pain I feel tonight.'  
  
-'Might Have Ben Hur'  
  
by switchfoot.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Asked Sacrifices  
  
Harry watched Hermione from afar, every meal, and every class. He didn't want to, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't help but observe her, but every time he saw that pained look in her eyes when she looked up and caught his gaze, he felt his insides crumble.. It hurt him, it did. But it was as if he was addicted to the crushing feeling.. And he couldn't take his eyes off her. Ron was awfully worried.  
  
He knew how his best friend felt about her, he did. Harry had told him, and he remembered being in complete shock, but somehow deep inside, he knew it was coming. Maybe he knew all along, all those hints and clues.. But maybe, maybe he just refused to see it. He knew Harry's feelings would make everything harder, everything more complicated. For him too, yes, but it was Harry's heart at stake. It was his heart that was getting beat on and shattered every second. He felt pain for his friend, but he knew he couldn't possibly guess how much it hurt for Harry. He knew whatever his guess was, it would still be too far. He always saw his green-eyed friend get this far away look in his eyes, especially when Hermione was near. Part of him wanted to scream at him, the other part just wanted to stay silent, let fate take its course. Well, fate was taking way too long. He couldn't stand just watching his friend like this.. But would it be fair if he interfered? Was he supposed to? Or was it all up to Harry now? He was confused, worried, frustrated. He wanted to talk to Hermione, ask her to try and talk to Harry.. But he just didn't know if it was in his place. He didn't want to make matters any worse, but he felt as if he had to do something. Ron looked across the Gryffindor table, to Hermione.  
  
She was reading, while blindly eating the orange slices on her plate. He observed her, her eyes moving at every line, with speed and grace. She seemed as if to be into the book, not bothering to pay attention to her breakfast, after all. But all of a sudden, as the red haired boy let his eyes linger on her, she looked up, as if sensing his gaze. They caught each other's eyes, and she looked at him, questionably. Now, she didn't see any hate or anger in her friend's eyes, like she imagined. Instead, she saw confusion.. There was something dark and deep in his blue eyes, something he longed to tell her.. But he couldn't seem to. Finally, she sighed, and looked back down at her book. She reached over at her plate for another slice, and flipped the page. Ron took a sip of his pumpkin juice.  
  
He turned to Harry, who seemed to be away again.  
  
"You alright, mate?" He asked. Harry smiled faintly, as he looked down on his plate, half empty.  
  
"What do you suggest I do?" he asked Ron, as if it had been on his mind the whole morning. Ron sighed.  
  
"To be honest, I don't know. I have no clue at these things, you know that.. But.. I think it's all up to you." He paused.  
  
"It's really killing you, all this, isn't it?" he asked quietly. Harry looked up, to something across the room.  
  
"To put it simply, yes. I want to talk to her, apologize, but then.. Those feelings start rushing back, and I become angry again." He sighed. "There are just so many things holding me back."  
  
"I could talk to her."  
  
Harry sat quietly, as if trying to process that idea through his mind, "You can try." Ron nodded.  
  
"She doesn't seem angry with us, Harry. Maybe she's sad, disappointed, upset.. But not angry. We've got to try, try now before.. Before things get out of hand." There was a moment of silence between the two boys, as if trying to sort out their thoughts. Finally, Harry spoke.  
  
"It's amazing, how Hermione manages to see some good in people, every single one," he said silently. "Even.. Even Malfoy."  
  
Ron smiled faintly, looking over at the Slytherin table, watching the platinum blonde haired boy. He chuckled lightly.  
  
"Yeah, that's just too bad, isn't it?"  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Ron scanned the bookshelves, looking for..  
  
"Ah, here's the bloody book," he said to him, as he pulled the edge back and observed the cover. It was plain looking, a brownish-red cover. He opened the book, and flipped through the pages. He saw pictures of dragons, old witches and wizards.. He closed the book, and headed out of the long aisle. He stopped in his tracks when he saw a certain familiar brown haired girl sitting at a table, lonesome and quiet. He tried to make up his mind, if he should talk to her or not. He decided he needed to, so with a deep breath, he headed towards her. He didn't know what her reaction would be, for it seemed ever since she fell in love with Malfoy and confessed it.. That she was just as unpredictable as everyone else. He stopped in front of her, her nose in a fairly thick book that had a sort of tattered, green cover.  
  
"Hermione," he said quietly. Hermione looked up from her book, and the sight astonished her. She didn't expect for them to be talking to her anytime soon.. She put down her book, after folding down the edge of the page, reserving her spot in the book. She stared at him, intently.  
  
"Ron," she said. He sighed, running a hand through his red hair.  
  
"Look, Hermione.. We're really sorry, for.. For everything. We- we didn't mean to ignore you, and about that whole Malfoy thing.. Well, it was just unexpected, and well.." He looked at her, not finishing his sentence. His blue eyes pleaded at her.  
  
"Ron, I'm not angry with you," she said, quietly. "And I don't expect you to get along with him, or anything.. But, I just.." She paused. She looked up at him, her brown eyes searching his. "How's Harry?"  
  
Ron sighed. "Hermione.. I think you should really talk to him."  
  
" He has nothing to say to me, and I.. I don't think he can stand to listen to me anymore," she said, solemnly.  
  
"Now, Hermione, you know that's not true."  
  
"Do I? I mean.. Look at the effect this had on Harry. I hurt him, Ron. And, God knows, maybe I just hurt him more when I try to talk to him. I don't want to do that. I didn't want to hurt you or him, you know that." She sighed. "But you can't ask me to let Draco go," she said. "It isn't fair."  
  
"How is it not fair, Hermione? I mean, look at Harry, he's lost his parents, and he's lost Sirius. You've got to put yourself in his shoes for at least a second, understand how he feels. At least try."  
  
She looked at him, as she stood up. Her brown eyes were pleading, innocent.  
  
"I love him, Ron. I love Draco. And I just can't understand why you or Harry can't accept that. I mean, I know he hasn't been nice to us, or at least bearable over the past few years, but he's changed, Ron. He's a good person."  
  
"How do you know, Hermione?" He asked. "How do you know he's not just using you to get to Harry? How do you know that he's not just feeding you all these lies, acting and playing this charade, only to break your heart and humiliate you in the end?"  
  
Hermione's eyes brimmed with tears, but she held them back. Ron continued.  
  
"We've all got to sacrifice something, Hermione, something that we love, something that we have to let go even if we can't. That's just the way it is."  
  
"Sacrifice? Sacrifice?" She said, the tears threatening to come out. "Maybe that's how you see it, Ron, and maybe you're right. But who says I have to sacrifice Draco? I'm happy with him, Ron. And if you can't see that, then.." She tried to swallow back the sudden dryness of her throat.  
  
"Then maybe.. Maybe it's our friendship that I have to sacrifice, not Draco." And she packed up her book, gave him one last look and went out the library doors. Ron stood there, head hung.  
  
Something told him that he had just done what he feared he would do. 


	23. Hurtful Words

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: don't own characters, just the plot.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Hurtful Words  
  
Hermione walked towards the lake, and the figure standing before it. She sighed, as she remembered the owl he had sent her during breakfast. He wanted to meet her by the lake, when all their classes had ended. Of course, without hesitation, she said yes. They both seemed distant lately, ever since Ron had confronted her about Harry.. And what he had asked her to give up. She didn't know who Ron thought he was, asking her to let Draco go.. Asking her to give up the single best thing that had ever happened to her.  
  
Maybe it was their agendas, maybe they were both lost in their thoughts and didn't want to sort them all out yet, but over the past few days.. She sighed. As she walked nearer to him, she felt those butterflies return, and her heart pounding in her chest.  
He had taken off his robe, and set it by the tree. His hands were in his pockets, with his tie loose and his vest set with his robe by the trunk. He seemed at ease, but deep in thought. Hermione was only but a foot from him now. She paused, but kept walking until she was beside him.  
  
"Hey," she said quietly to him, and she observed the sight he seemed to be captivated by. It was breathtaking, and it seemed surreal, almost. It seemed as if the sun was glazed in a sheer pink, dipped into the far edge of the lake. It set off a glow, an aura.. She felt at peace, just looking at it. It wasn't an ordinary sight, yet it seemed so unnatural, something so beautiful.  
  
Draco kept his eyes on the sunset, while feeling those same butterflies erupt in his stomach. He felt her warmth spread to him, blanketing him from outside to in. He recognized this feeling; it was as if he had dipped in a holy, misty stream that warmed his soul to the very last drop. Not even the most beautiful or stunning sunset could ever give him that feeling.  
  
"How are you?" She asked, her voice small and gentle. He smiled faintly, his eyes unwavering on the sunset.  
  
"I'm fine," he said quietly. Hermione looked down, but then looked back at him again. There was a silvery blonde strand that had come loose, and it fell across his face. His hair shone, even with the hazy light, making him seem as if some kind of God that had been sent down here. His dark silver eyes glittered from the bright rays, and she felt as if the silence was hammering her down.  
  
"How's everything with you?" He asked her, quietly. His question took her a while to answer, because she couldn't say 'fine.' Everything wasn't fine. No, it wasn't. Everything was just fine when she was around him, but once they parted.. Reality crashed down on her once again. And she couldn't take it. That crushing, sinking feeling whenever she was in the same room with her two ex-best friends. Or whenever she was alone with her thoughts that seemed to attack her, pierce through her. She sighed; she didn't know how to answer his question.  
  
"Ron, he spoke to me in the library," she said, softly. She swallowed hard. She looked at him, searching for any sign of emotion.  
  
"He asked me.. He asked me to give you up."  
  
Draco felt that compressing feeling in his chest, and it seemed as if something was taking over.. Something tapping into his bloodstream, something cold. Something cold, and ruthless. He didn't know what it was. But he could feel his insides crumble, but his silver gaze become fierce and hard. He could feel his hands clench into fists inside his pockets. He was angry. Why? He searched for the answer but it chose to remain hidden. Maybe he was overwhelmed by his feelings for her, the way they seemed to control him, the way it overtook his body. Maybe he was just tired of her two bloody friends always finding a way to make him doubt, make her doubt their relationship. Maybe he was just tired of her mentioning her two friends, and hearing that sad tone in her voice, as if guilty to ever fall in love with him. Maybe she didn't want to be with him. Maybe she was guilty, and she was regretting ever.. Ever being with him. Before he could realize it, he had spoken.  
  
"Why do you let them do this to you?" He suddenly asked her, his voice hard and firm. Hermione was shocked at his tone; it seemed as if he was trying to compress his anger.  
  
"What do you mean?" She asked him. He suddenly turned to her, his eyes blazing, flashing.  
  
"Why do you let them ask you all these bloody questions, about us? I don't even know what you're still doing with them! Haven't they hurt you enough?! Why do you let them try to convince you that I'm the worst thing that's ever happened to you and ever will?!"  
  
Hermione couldn't find the words to say. She was overwhelmed by his words.. What did he mean?  
  
"They're my friends, Draco," she managed to choke out.  
  
"Well, I'd say you've got the most bloody wonderful friends in the world," he said, angrily and sarcastically.  
  
"Why are you doing this?" She asked him, confused and frustrated by his remarks.  
  
"Why?! You want to know why?! Because I'm bloody tired of listening to you go on about your prick-faced friends, hanging on to them even though all they've tried to do is make you doubt us! I'm tired of seeing you cry every time they come up in our conversations, because they aren't even worth your tears, Hermione! If they were really your friends, they would let you be with me, let you be happy!"  
  
Hermione felt something pierce through her chest, and she felt that same restricted feeling in her lungs, and it was so hard to swallow.. Even to breathe. Was this how he really felt? She felt her eyes sting with tears.  
  
"Draco, they've been with me all these past years, I can't just give them up just like that," her voice wavering and breaking.  
  
"And yet it came to them with so much ease when they chose to ignore you," he said, his words striking her so hard and painfully.  
  
"They didn't choose to ignore me," she said through her tears.  
  
"Well then, tell me a good reason why they couldn't spare a minute of their oh so busy agenda to say at least a 'hi' to you, or even a 'how are you doing'?!" His voice rose, and she could feel herself weaken, crumbling under his penetrating gaze. "Tell me!" He yelled at her. "Because I want to bloody know!"  
  
Hermione felt tears flood down her cheeks, and she could taste them in her mouth. They were salty and sweet. Bittersweet.  
  
"You don't realize how much they've hurt you, Hermione," he said. "You spend so much of your time trying to convince yourself that they'll always be there, and that they won't let you fall. They'll only let you down when you need them the most."  
  
"How would you know, Draco?!" She screamed, trying to rid of the heavy weight upon her heart. "It's not like you've ever had any real friends!" Draco's eyes glittered angrily.  
  
"Maybe not, but I'm better off being alone than to have some fake friends that convince me I could count on them, only to kick me when I'm already on the ground."  
  
Hermione ran, as she burst into sobs. Her feet felt stiff and wobbly, but she ran, and ran. She couldn't hear Draco's cries if he was calling out to her. There was a white, rushing noise deafening her ears. She ran through the halls, her rapid footsteps echoing through the walls, while her sobs were fighting to just come out. She managed to strangle or muffle them, but it felt as if her heart was going to explode.  
  
Part of her wished it would, and leave her in pieces. That way she wouldn't have to choose, that way she wouldn't feel this puncturing white hot pain she felt inside her chest. That way she wouldn't have to deal with this.  
  
That way she didn't have to find a solution, that way everything would be finally solved. For her. Everything, all this, her problems, Harry, it would all be solved. Because then she wouldn't have to deal with it, she could just leave it all behind. It wouldn't be her problem anymore. 


	24. The Beautiful Letdown

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: don't own characters, just plot.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
'It was a beautiful letdown  
when I crashed and burned when I found myself alone, unknown and hurt  
  
It was a beautiful letdown The day I knew That all the riches this world had to offer me  
Would never do  
  
In a world full of bitter pain  
And bitter doubt I was trying so hard to fit in.  
Until I found out  
  
It was a beautiful letdown  
When you found me here And for once in a rare blue moon  
I see everything clear  
  
I'll be a beautiful letdown  
That's what I'll forever be And though it may cost my soul  
I'll sing for free.  
  
We're still chasing our tails  
And the rising sun And our dark water planet  
Still spins in a race Where no one wins And no one's one.'  
  
-'The Beautiful Letdown'  
by switchfoot.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
The Beautiful Letdown  
  
Draco walked into the common room, and looked around, as if expecting a certain brown haired girl reading a book by the fireplace. But the room was dark, empty. Silent. He could feel the crushing of his heart, shattering. He sighed, as the portrait door swung shut. He knew, right at the instant she had ran off, crying, that he had managed to hurt her once again. He didn't know what had triggered it, why he had done it. He just didn't know. He collapsed down on the couch, the darkness blanketing his vision.. His hands felt cold, clammy. It was hard to swallow, guilt was pressing down on his lungs, weighing down his heart. He couldn't believe he had said those horrible things to her. All he wanted to do was take back every single word, wipe away every single tear. She wasn't going to speak to him again. He sighed, as he dug his head in his hands, his hair loose, tickling his brow. He wanted to just get up and knock at her door, apologize for everything he had said.. His heart was willing him, tugging at him.. But he knew she wouldn't answer. She was probably asleep by now, and even if she wasn't.. She wouldn't open the door. She probably didn't even want to see his face, let alone talk to him or listen to what he had to say.  
  
He felt so guilty, so angry at himself.. Angry at her two weasel friends for letting her down.. But now he had let her down too. She needed him, and he had aimed his hurtful words at her, not even trying to sort out all his feelings, or thoughts. He had just said what had come out of his mouth, what he felt. He had just said the most ruthless and cold words to her, and he couldn't even bear it. He just hoped she would give him a chance to say sorry, but then he would understand if she couldn't even take a glance at him.  
  
It was cases like this, involving Hermione and his hurtful words, that he hated himself to the core. He had never hated himself before, for hating oneself was out of the question for Malfoys. But, he guessed, Malfoys had never been in love before. They didn't know how it felt to hurt the person you loved more than anything in the world by your stupidity, and cruel mouth. Malfoys had probably never even shown likeness for someone, that was besides their stature or money. They just didn't know. They just couldn't feel. Malfoys were always cold, chilling the room because of their sole presence. But it seemed the other Malfoys had never had a girl like Hermione Granger in their life before.  
  
Therefore they couldn't possibly have a single bloody clue.  
  
Draco sighed, as he looked around in the dark room. It was silent, only with the light sound of his breathing, and Draco knew, if he would just listen very carefully in this silence, he would be sure to hear the sickening crushing of his heart.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Draco woke up the next morning, sure to be early so he could catch Hermione, but she had already gone. Draco could feel the disappointment weigh him down, as he walked out into the hall. At breakfast, he saw her all alone once again; her nose in a book, barely paying any attention to what she was feeding herself. He found himself watching her the entire time, his appetite getting bigger and worse, but it wasn't for food. Suddenly, he saw her put her book down and sigh, her curls falling across her face as he knew she had no intention of looking up, and perhaps maybe meeting his gaze. It had been just a couple of hours he hadn't seen her smile, heard her talk, seen that sparkle in her eyes every time they caught each other's gaze, and already he felt like he was suffocating.  
  
His eyes followed her as she picked up her book, and stood. She quietly pushed her chair in, and headed towards the Great Hall's doors. Draco suddenly bolted up, causing some people to look over. But he paid no attention to them. He knew this was a chance to get her alone, and apologize, so he ran out of the Great Hall, hoping to catch her. He burst through the doors, and into the hall, but there was nothing. He heard no footsteps, saw no one; not even a shadow. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed; she had gotten away again. Looking back at the Great Hall's closed doors behind him, he decided to just head up to his dorm. He wasn't hungry anyway.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Hermione had done all she could to avoid going up to her dorm, knowing Draco would probably there to try and talk to her. She sighed. She didn't know what to think anymore. Maybe he was right; she was just holding on to something that wasn't there. Maybe it was never there in the first place. But she didn't know how to just leave it behind, leave her friends. Maybe it was easy for them, maybe it was easy for them to ignore her and not talk to her, but that didn't mean it was easy for her. She had always been independent, on her schoolwork, and a numerous of other things, but she had come to depend on them. She had learned how to trust them, had learned to not worry about telling them stuff, because she was sure they wouldn't tell.  
  
How was she supposed to just throw all that away?  
  
Hermione was silent, as she found herself in the quidditch field. The skies were just beginning to darken, and there was a faint outline of the moon that was sure to be glowing later on. She felt the breeze pass by her, and she closed her eyes as she felt the wind comb through her tresses. She looked up at the sky, cloudless and shadowy, and she felt a faint smile spread across her face. She had always liked the time of day when the sun had just went down, and the hours of darkness were just beginning to be shaded in, in the endless arms of the sky. She felt at peace, almost, but the cold fresh air had always soothed her. The chilly breeze seemed to embrace her, comforting her worries and thoughts, and she felt like she could no longer think. Her mind was at rest, the serene silence filling her soul like the warmth of the sun's smile.  
  
She stood, unmoving on the grass, in the middle of the quidditch field. Her eyes were closed, for she didn't need sight to describe the moment, this place. It was the feeling it gave her, the peacefulness that she never knew she could ever achieve in her life. And yet here it was.  
  
Harry stepped out into the quidditch field, staring up at the sky, the calm sky making his eyes glaze over with memories. The air that surrounded him, filled his nose was most fresh; like the night air he seemed to enjoy so much. He walked farther out into the field, remembering all those night flights he took, when his mind was full of worries and he just couldn't take being in a room inside of Hogwarts: the walls seemed to close in on him, the air seemed poisonous and was choking his lungs. Here, this was his freedom. This was where he found his forever-desired solitude. Harry halted in his steps, when he saw a figure out in the middle of the field. He couldn't see exactly who it was; he wasn't close enough. So he walked nearer, hoping to find out who it was who also seemed to share his likeness of this time of day.  
  
His heart seemed to stop when he saw who it was. Her hair was loose, cascading down on her shoulders and back like soft brown waves. Her eyes were closed, mouth curved into a faint but beautiful smile. It was Hermione. Harry immediately stopped, but his breath got caught in his throat, and he suddenly let it out. That seemed to awake the brown haired girl from her trance, and she suddenly turned to see who it was. She felt her heart crumble, falling piece by piece, seeing him. Those familiar hypnotizing emerald eyes, his tousled raven hair. She couldn't feel the sky darken, the air around her get colder. Their gazes had both of them trapped.  
  
"Hi Harry," she finally spoke. Her voice was soft and faint, but it rang in his ears.  
  
"Hermione," he spoke. He could feel those butterflies come back, bouncing off his insides, his heart beating faster and faster. Her cheeks were rosy, from the cold night air, her face pale and flawless; she seemed goddess-like underneath the faint moonlight. Her brown eyes were dark, but pleading and innocent. They seemed to melt everything inside him.  
  
"How are you?" She asked, her eyes searching his. He swallowed hard; he felt as if his throat was threatening to close up.  
  
"I'm fine," he said. He paused, but went on. "Ron told me, what happened," he said. "In the library." Hermione nodded in return. "Is it true?" he asked.  
  
Hermione sighed, as she clutched her cloak tightly; the air had seemed to get much colder.  
  
"I don't know, Harry," she said. She stared into his eyes, intently.  
  
"Are you still angry with me?" She asked, softly. Harry shook his head, smiling faintly. He walked toward her, until they weren't a foot apart. Being so near to her made his heart beat even more rapidly, the blood rushing through his veins get warmer and warmer.  
  
"I'm sorry, Hermione," he whispered to her. "I'm sorry for what I said, I'm sorry that I hurt you," he swallowed hard, seeing her eyes brim with tears. "I never wanted to hurt you, Hermione. You're the last person I ever want to hurt. You and Ron." Hermione smiled, a tears sliding her cheek.  
  
"Oh Harry," she said, as she wrapped her arms around him. Harry was surprised, but he held her tightly. He closed his eyes and tried to swallow the stone in his throat, feeling her soft, warm body against him. Would he tell her? Should he? Should he tell her how he felt for her? Should he tell her that he was in love with her? He shut his eyes, just trying to concentrate on this moment. He felt his arms tighten around her, her soft, warm breaths tickling his neck.  
  
"I'm sorry for not telling you and Ron earlier," she said. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean.. I didn't mean for all this to happen. I'm really sorry, Harry." Harry smiled, as they pulled back. But Hermione saw, that it was a sad sort of smile. They were still close, his arms still around her.  
  
Harry felt his heart beating so rapidly, as if it were to jump right out of his chest. He searched her deep brown eyes.  
  
"Hermione," he said. Concern flickered in her eyes, as her eyebrows creased with worry.  
  
"What is it, Harry?" she asked. "Is there something wrong?"  
  
It was now or never.  
  
Harry opened his mouth to say something, to confess.. But he closed it. He smiled sadly at her, as he took her hand in his.  
  
"Nothing. It's nothing." Hermione still searched his expression, and Harry felt his heart break. He could hear the sickening shatter of the bits and pieces fall.. Each one too small to ever repair or mend. Or even fit back into the puzzle. Hermione sighed, as she put her other hand on Harry's.  
  
"Are you sure it's nothing?" She asked him. Harry smiled.  
  
"I just missed you, that's all." 


	25. Inferno Witness

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own characters, just the plot.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
To my friend Rubie, you rock. And thanks to all the reviewers!! I can't say how much I appreciate it.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
'I have a smile stretched from ear to ear  
to see you walking down the road,  
we meet at the lights,  
I stare for a while,  
The world just disappears,  
  
Just you and me on this island of hope,  
A breath between us could be miles,  
Let me surround you my sea to your shore,  
Let me be the calm you seek,  
Oh and every time I'm close to you,  
There's too much I can't say and you just  
Walk away,  
And I forgot to tell you I love you,  
And the night's too long and cold here without you.  
  
I grieve in my condition for I cannot find the strength  
To say I need you so,  
Oh and every time I'm close to you  
There's too much I can't say and you just walk away  
And I forgot to tell you I love you  
And the night's too long and cold here without you.'  
  
-'I Love you'  
  
By Sarah McLachlan  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Inferno Witness  
  
Draco sat in the common room, lazy fire flickering, fighting to dominate over the shadows. He had skipped dinner; so that he would be here when she would come. He couldn't take it. He could feel his heart being hammered down, crumbling into pieces at the pit of his stomach every time he saw her.  
  
Every time he saw her and she wouldn't look at him.  
  
His eyes had stayed on her the entire time, lunch, and breakfast. Classes would've been an extra advantage too, if they had had some. He sighed, as he ran a hand through his silvery blonde hair.  
  
He stared back into the fire, and smiled faintly. So many had happened, so many things had occurred right in this very room, with the fire as a witness. This was where he had tried to talk to her, the first day this year at Hogwarts. The first time he had made her cry. The first time he had laughed with her. The first time he had told her how he felt. The first time his lips had met hers. The first time she had pushed him away.\  
  
He closed his eyes, slowly. He had remembered so much, and in this bare room alone. Yet they, each memory, still gave him that feeling.. Like the pit of his stomach seemed to still be caving in deeper, whenever he thought of when he made her cry. And those hyperactive butterflies returned, as he remembered when he had kissed her for the first time. His memories, their memories, still triggered the same reactions inside of him.. He didn't want to think those memories would be his last with her.  
  
He longed to kiss her again, to hold her in his arms. He longed to smell the faint trace of warm vanilla on her skin, to stare into her deep brown eyes. He wanted to be captivated, he wanted to be lost. And he could only be lost to her. He missed feeling as if everything seemed to be fading, vanishing when he was with her. Like time had stopped, the world had seemed to disappear. That feeling that he wouldn't give away for anything in the world. All he wanted to do was be with her again, tell her he was sorry. He couldn't bear the fact that she was ignoring him, that she was angry with him, although she had every right to be. It seemed as if guilt was making him sweat, making him suffer.. Yet he knew why.  
  
He knew the other part that had triggered his cruel words. He just wasn't used to feeling so strongly about someone. He wasn't used to trying with all his might to be careful of his words, because he didn't want to hurt her. He wasn't used to longing to be by her side at every moment of everyday. He wasn't used to any of this. He was scared. Deep inside, he was scared. He was scared of what would happen to him, of when he would tell her how much she had control over him. He was scared that the feeling would get so strong, and he wouldn't be able to control it. He was scared of what he would do, what he would feel if she broke his heart. Draco Malfoy was scared.  
  
But the one reason, above it all, was this.  
  
Draco Malfoy was scared because he loved her.  
  
He didn't know love, and he was sure he would've died before knowing any of it at all. He just didn't know how to handle it, especially on cases just as this. It was wrecking everything inside of him, being apart from her. Loving her so much that he couldn't stand thinking that she was angry with him. He wanted it to go away. But he couldn't let it go.  
  
He didn't know what he would do it something had happened to her. Usually Malfoys would stay calm and cool, even if their loved one was on the brink of death. Malfoys didn't know love, of course, so it was much easier to watch that person die and suffer. But for Draco, it was different. Something had happened to him, someone had happened to him. He didn't know if he was meant to feel this, he didn't know if it was an accident, or just chance.  
  
But it was here now. And it couldn't go away, even if he had wanted it to. He would feel this way about her, loving her every breath she took, every moment she let the world pass without wondering. He would love her every single day of his life, and even beyond that.  
  
It left him feeling confused. And scared. But he couldn't help but hope that he would have her to be with him, and be scared together. For all the days of his life.  
  
Just then he heard the door open, and his eyes bolted open. He quickly stood up, as he saw the brown haired girl. Hermione felt as if she was rooted to the ground. Here she was, in this room with Draco. Again. He neared her, and she had swallow hard. She had every intention of turning away, going back into her room. But his eyes willed her not to go. And she was trapped in his gaze again.  
  
"Hermione," he said, and she felt her back against the cold wall. Her heart was pounding, her hands felt clammy and icy as if they were dead. She looked at Draco, and the breath she had been holding seemed to escape from her. He was looking at her, with such determined and hopeful eyes, still wearing his robes. His silver eyes seemed to have something flickering inside of them, because of the fire behind him. His blonde hair was slicked back, but a couple of strands had come loose, and fell across his face. She could feel herself backing into the wall even more, although she knew there was no possible way she could get out now.  
  
"Draco," she said, softly. Draco felt himself wince, at the sound of her voice. It was full of hurt and pain, and how he wished he could just wrap his arms around her and take it all away. Hermione felt as if the room was freezing, while at the same time it was on fire. She wasn't wearing her robes or her uniform; just merely her pajamas. And she just wanted to run. Run away from the smoldering cold, run away from him. Run away from the painful memories he brought unto her.  
  
Before she knew it, she was doing exactly she had been wishing but a second ago. She hadn't realized it, but she had walked to her door, her back to him, hand on the cold doorknob. She swallowed hard, as she twisted it, slowly.  
  
"Hermione, don't," she heard him say. She stopped, and let the knob spring back. She couldn't turn around. She felt weak. Even with just him being in the same room. But she could feel his silver-piercing gaze on her, and that alone could've stopped her heart from beating.  
  
Draco could feel his lungs threatening to explode, from holding his breath. He let his eyes bore into her retreating back. He needed her to stay.  
  
"I'm sorry," he said to her. "I'm sorry for what I said, that I hurt you." Hermione didn't say anything, and it seemed as if she was frozen.  
  
"Please say something," he pleaded at her. Finally, she sighed and turned to him, her eyes glimmering from the firelight. He still saw pain in them, and now he knew that even with the most well thought out apology he couldn't take it away.  
  
"Why did you say it? You meant it, didn't you? You needn't need to be sorry if you truly felt that inside. An apology's useless, Draco," she said. "You don't apologize if you really meant all those things you said to me. About Harry, and Ron. You can't take it back, Draco. You just can't."  
  
Draco winced, and he felt his heart fold, at the sight of her glossy eyes. Hermione let out a ragged breath, as she felt tears sting her eyes.  
  
"What else do you want?" He asked her, softly. "What do you want me to do?"  
  
"I want to know why. Why you spend time with me, why you look at me, as if the mere thought of me being angry with you breaks your heart. Why do you do that, if you despise my friends so much? It seems to me, you hate the thought of me spending time with them, because like you said, they aren't even worth my tears."  
  
She looked at him, her deep brown eyes pleading.  
  
"Why do you spend time with me, tell me why they don't deserve me?" Her voice started breaking. "I know you hate them, so why associate with someone who loves them dearly?"  
  
Draco stared at her; he couldn't find the words to say. What was he to say? Finally, something hit him.  
  
"I was scared," he choked out.  
  
"Why?" she asked him. He didn't answer, as he felt his stomach caving in deeper, eating up the pieces that had fallen from his heart.  
  
"Why were you scared, Draco?" she asked, him, her voice soft. But after a few minutes of waiting for his answer, he saw disappointment in her brown eyes. He felt as if his heart had just died, when she just turned, and headed to her door. Her back was to him again, and he knew he had to say something. He couldn't let her leave. Things were still so unresolved; she was still pained. He was hurt at the thought of just seeing him pained her. He knew he had to tell her the truth. He had to tell her. Before it was too late.  
  
Hermione twisted the knob, and felt the lock 'click.' Draco swallowed hard.  
  
"I love you." 


	26. Break Me

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: don't own characters, just the plot.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Thanks to all the reviewers!! To all of you, this chapter is for you. And for those who crave an even bigger and complicated DM.HG.HP triangle, after this fic I will be writing a new fic. Harry will play a bigger role, and well.. You'll see. The reason I am saying this is that some- or just one of you, I don't know- of you are asking me to make Hermione and Harry get together, and Draco catching them for more drama, and well.. I told myself Harry would just play a sort of small role in this one, and that it would just solely focus on Hermione and Draco. So, the fic I will be writing after this, I promise you, will be a MAJOR love triangle. But of course, it will be still DracoHermione. Because of course, Draco and Hermione are my muse.  
  
Oh yes, I am changing the rating on this fic, again, from PG-13 to R, because of the content in this chapter. And well, I am slightly confused about it, so if you think it should've stayed PG-13, or if you think that it was good that I changed it to R, please tell me what you thought about it and why..  
  
Thank you so so much, and I am truly sad to say that this fic is close to ending.. Have a great day.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
'I will meet you in some place  
Where the light lends itself to soft repose  
I will let you undress me  
But I warn you, I have thorns like any other rose.  
  
And you could hurt me with your bare hands  
You could hurt me using the sharp end of what you say  
But I am lost to you now  
There's no amount of reason to save me  
  
So Break me  
Take me  
Just let me fill your arms again  
Break me  
I'll let you make me  
Just let me feel your love again  
  
Feels like being underwater  
Now that I've let go and lost control  
Water kisses fill my mouth  
Water fills my soul..'  
  
-'Break Me'  
  
By Jewel  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Break Me  
  
Hermione felt as if her heart had stopped. She forgot about breathing, and her lungs felt as if they were going to explode. Her world was spinning, but his words echoed in her head, faint but unforgettable. She couldn't believe it. She let go of the doorknob, and let it spring back into place. She swallowed hard, feeling as if the room were ablaze with such strong, but frosty thriving flames.  
  
Draco stood, frozen. He had said it. He had said how he felt about her. He didn't plan to say it, he never thought of saying it. But he did. And he meant it. He meant it with all that was in him. He swallowed hard, and mentally pleaded her to turn around, or say something, at least. He couldn't stand the silence. He needed to stare into her deep brown eyes, hold her. His eyes kept on her, waiting for her to do something. Say something.  
  
Hermione's knees were weak, her hands were sweaty. The room was cold, but at the same time burning with heat. The silence between them was deafening, but she just didn't know what to say. Of course, she loved him. Loved him ever since Ron had asked her to give him up, and that was when she realized she couldn't. That was when she knew she loved him. She turned around, slowly, and met his gaze. His gaze made her even weaker, they were boring into her, pleading.  
  
"I love you," he repeated. Hermione felt those tears come out, but she couldn't even bring herself to wipe them away. Her vision was blurry, but she could still see his dark outline against the blotchy colors. Draco moved towards her, and wrapped his arms around her. He felt his heart finally rid of the heavy weight that had been suffocating it, as he held her tightly. She felt warm, in his arms, trembling.  
  
He raised her chin up, framing her face with his warm and gentle hands. He wiped away her tears, his silver eyes dark but honest. And finally, he leaned down, until his lips finally reunited with hers, giving into the passion once again. Hermione soon forgot that her lungs were full to exploding, or that her face burned where he had wiped away her tears. He held her tightly, as his mouth molded against hers. She felt a whimper rise in her throat, as he pressed her against him even more, every part of their body compressed against each other's. His tongue danced with hers, and her hands found themselves tangled in his silky hair, deepening the kiss.  
  
It felt as if their thirst had been quenched, from living for years without water. Draco's kisses felt as if they were a sacred water, and drinking it would give you the ability of never being thirsty again in your life. His hands felt as if they were on fire, as they held her closer and closer, although they were already as close as they could be. He kissed her deeply, passionately, feeling as if he'd lost all control.  
  
Before they knew it, Draco had led her into her room, never letting go of her. He leaned her backwards softly, her back coming in contact with the soft cotton covers of her bed. He moved atop of her, still kissing her passionately, the fire inside of him thriving and restless. Hermione was lost, in his sweet, addicting kisses that seemed to fill her soul, every drop. He had filled that void inside of her, making her complete, shoving away all her insecurities and worries. She was giving herself to him, all of her.  
  
Draco's hands were roaming, running up and down her waist, causing her shirt to ride up from the motion. Hermione felt a whimper cease in her throat, as his soft hands came in contact with her bare skin. Draco slowly rolled up her shirt, and she let him slip it off her shoulders. His kisses trailed from her mouth, to her neck and navel, leaving behind an invisible trace of passion. His hands held her close, arching her body up, and she felt as if they were smoldering her skin, burning her flesh pleasantly. The room seemed to have gotten so much warmer, so intense and hot, as if the fire was alive and strong inside the room. His mouth traveled from her neck, his soft lips like angel kisses with a sting of fire, to her navel, devouring her as if she was the sweetest thing he had ever tasted. But she was. But he trailed his kisses up again, and captured her mouth for another fervent kiss. Hermione raised her hands, trembling and burning, to his robe, unfastened the buttons, and slipped it off his shoulders. He kissed her neck, his hands running up and down her stomach, making it hard to concentrate. She loosened his tie, and threw it on the floor. Draco took off his vest, and threw it beside his tie, as she lifted up her hands to undo the buttons on his shirt. Draco felt her soft and warm breaths on his neck, as her small hands traveled down, trying to unbutton as fast as she could. Finally she was done, and she let her hands slide inside, only to slip the fabric off his shoulders. Draco let his tongue dance with hers avidly, as she pulled him closer, her hands caressing his muscles, exploring his body. Draco moaned against her lips, as she let her hands wander. Her touch felt as if they were scolding his skin, making his heart beat faster and harder, his hunger for her growing and growing by each second. Hermione's hands found themselves entangled in his silky hair, the air so warm and humid, her skin feeling sweaty and hot. Her legs moved underneath him, and he slid his gentle hands down, tugging at the waistband of her flannel trousers. He looked at Hermione, and she nodded, also noticing the hunger in her eyes. He pulled them off her, slowly, letting his fingers trail down her smooth thighs with the fabric, making her whimper. Finally they fell loose at her feet, and he took them and threw them to the floor, along with their other clothing. Hermione swallowed hard, as he went back to her, her legs wide and open.  
  
He kissed her slowly, but passionately, as he pressed down on her, her body compressing harder against the sheets. His hands started down at her feet, trailing up her ankles, slowly. They went up her legs, and Draco's kiss had become more intense. She kissed him back, willing him to take her. Her hands were still in his hair, and were digging into his scalp, as his hands reached her thighs, then trailed into her inner thighs. Hermione felt a creeping warmth spread through her, making her feel feverish. She moaned as Draco pushed against her, still two cloths separating them from being naked to their soul. But Draco's hands trailed up, to the lacy edge of her bra. He breathed hard, plunging his tongue deeper into her, as he arched her body up, to undo her bra. He reached behind her, while his other hand held her tightly to him, as he unclasped her bra, and laid her back softly on the bed. Her breaths became more rapid and heavy, as he slipped it off, and he followed his kisses to there. His lips left a passionate musk behind, that she knew she could never wash away from her nude skin. His hair had become loose, and some strands were tickling her bare skin, as she whimpered and moaned at the sensations he gave her. His hands traveled to her inner thighs again, and he detained her swollen lips for another passionate kiss. He tasted sweet, like an addictive drug that seemed to invade her body, wanting and wanting more of it. She had lost all of her control. Whatever he would do to her, whatever he made her feel, she welcomed it. All she wanted was that he would be with her. All she needed was him.  
  
She gasped, parting her lips and slightly pulling back, as his hands went to the heart of her, and he bit her lip, urging her to come back to him. She did, managing to get a few gasps of air. He couldn't tell if his lips were numb, but he couldn't care less. She tasted so good, and he didn't know if he could bear missing that sweet taste that she held.  
  
His hands were on fire, and seemed to be searing her skin, marking her, as he pushed her legs open wider, moved in closer until she could feel the fabric of his dark pants on her inner thighs. Shaking, she brought her hands to the button of his trousers, and unclasped it and zipped it down. Without hesitation, he slipped it off, still holding her nearly naked body so close.  
  
He laid his hand on top of her damp underwear, breathing hard and heavy. He pulled back and looked at her, his deep silver eyes searching hers. She could see they were dark, and full of hunger. She wanted to give in, she needed to.  
  
"Hermione," he whispered. "Are you sure?" But Hermione just raised her head and kissed him fervently, her hands in his hair pulling him closer.  
  
She pulled back, but only so that their mouths were barely touching.  
  
"Draco," she said breathlessly. "Just take me."  
  
Draco obeyed, giving her another passionate kiss, pressing his body against hers, forcing her small body to sink in more to the bed's cushions.  
  
The fire died slowly, in the empty common room. The lazy flames fought, the light trying to dominate over the looming shadows. But the darkness governed, suffocating and weakening the fire until it finally died out.  
  
The aroma of smoke filled the room, the absence of the hazy yellow light from the fireplace. But no one missed it; no one noticed it to be gone. The fire had just played a mere role, playing with the shadows to make the Slytherin and the Gryffindor to see each other's emotions flickering their eyes, to make them realize it pained them to see each other hurt. The fire just made them see.  
  
And seeing leads to realization.  
  
Realization leads to admittance.  
  
Admittance leads to confession.  
  
Confession leads to fate.  
  
And fate is where it truly begins. 


	27. This Way

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: don't own characters, just plot.  
  


* * *

  
THANK YOU  
  


* * *

  


* * *

  
'Love be still  
Love be sweet  
Don't you dare  
Change a thing  
I want to photograph you in my mind  
To feel how I feel now all the time  
  
Chorus: Say that you'll stay  
Forever this way  
Forever and forever  
That we'll never have to change  
Don't move Don't breathe  
Don't change  
Don't leave  
And promise me  
Say that you'll stay  
We'll stay  
This way  
  
I get afraid  
Don't think ahead  
Let's just stay  
This way in bed  
Feels so good inside your arms  
Home is everywhere that you are.  
  
Chorus.  
  
Don't move  
Don't breathe  
Don't change Don't leave Promise me We'll always be This kind, this sweet This good to me Promise me We'll always be  
  
Chorus.'  
  
-'This Way'  
  
by Jewel.  
  


* * *

  
This Way  
  
Draco smiled, watching Hermione's sleeping form beside him. His arms were still around her warm, naked body, and he couldn't help but smile at his memory from last night. He had never felt that way before, so passionate and intense, the room feeling so hot as if it were on fire. He remembered hearing Hermione's moans and whimpers from underneath him, urging him to go on. His arm around her tightened, the heat of her bare skin seemed to be warming every inch of his skin, then seeping in deeper where even the sun's rays could not reach or warm.  
  
His eyes trailed her features, her closed eyes to her soft, moist lips. He raised his hand, and tucked a stray curl behind her ear, adoration in his eyes. She didn't know how she could be so beautiful at every second of everyday, from the midst of the hours of darkness to when the sun shone through the windows. He could hear her soft, shallow breaths, unknown to her that he was watching her, all the reasons rushing back of why he loved her, and what he loved about her. He smiled, his silver eyes sparkling.  
  
He loved the way she bit her lip when she was nervous, or deep in thought. He loved the way her voice got quiet when he was around her, and the way her eyes lit up when she found favor in something. He loved the way her brown eyes sparkled, the way her mouth curved into such a stunning smile that made him breathless. He loved the way she said his name, the way she laughed, the sound of her graceful laugh as it rang in his ears. He loved the way her soft lips felt against his, and the feeling she gave him when she was near. He loved the warmth that filled his soul when he held her, and the sudden frantic buzzing of his nerves when she touched him. He loved the way concern flickered in her eyes, when she knew something wasn't right. He loved the way his heart would beat harder and faster, when he would get lost in her eyes. He loved the feeling of happiness and satisfaction when he was with her, knowing he wouldn't want to be anywhere else.  
  
He loved everything about her. He loved everything she made him feel. He loved everything she did to him.  
  
He stroked her hair, gently. Hermione stirred, and her eyes fluttered open, as she moved to the side where Draco was. She smiled at him, as his hand froze in her hair. Her eyes sparkled from the sunbeams that had managed to slip out the heavy curtains. But her smile got even wider as she remembered last night. Draco pulled her closer, their naked bodies once again in contact, skin to skin. She raised her hand and placed it upon his cheek.  
  
"I never got to tell you," she whispered to him. " That I love you too."  
  
Draco smiled, and leaned down to kiss her, his loose hair managing to tickle Hermione's forehead. But she forgot all about the tickling feeling, as his lips pressed against hers, and she was just amazed at how his breath stayed so fresh and minty. She felt her hands once again entwine in his silky hair, as he deepened the kiss, just managing to invite the memories, sensations and intense passion from last night. They pulled back slowly, and Hermione rested her head on his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist. His skin felt smooth and warm underneath her fingertips. Draco pressed his lips softly on her forehead, as she closed her eyes.  
  
"You were wonderful," he whispered to her, as he held her closer, the loose strands of his hair brushing against her cheek. Hermione just smiled, her fingertips cold but blistering on top of his smooth skin, remembering it all. She remembered the way his name had just rolled off her tongue, and trying to bite her tongue to keep herself from screaming. The air had been so hot and humid; her breaths so heavy and hard. Her skin had seemed to be smoldering underneath him, grazed with sweat. She remembered the sensation that had built up inside of her, and trying to suppress from making so much noise; she felt as if her lungs were about to burst. She could still feel the moisture from his kisses on her bare skin, from his mouth that had trailed down and traveled. She had felt her fingers digging into his back, but he made no complaint. They were both so lost; they had vanished from this world.  
  
She remembered feeling exhaustion sweep over her, but not willing to stop. Until she could feel her limbs tired and aching, her body spent. He gave her one last kiss, his sweet taste still lingering in her mouth as he kissed her forehead gently, before they both lay on their backs, the cotton sheets icy but burning into their flesh. He snaked his arms around her, and held her close, until they had both drifted off.  
  
She still remembered the last words he had said to her that night, and however he may be redundant, she could never forget it or tire of it.  
  
"I love you," he had whispered to her, breathlessly. But before she could mumble a response back to him, they had both retired into a restful sleep, in each other's arms.  
  
"What are your plans for today?" He asked her, softly.  
  
"Staying here. With you," she whispered. Which was too true than she could claim. She wanted to stay in his arms, stay with him, for where he was, was where her heart was rooted. She didn't want to get up, and walk out into the echoing corridors that seemed to make her fears and worries bigger. In his arms was where she belonged. Where she longed to stay for eternity. It was in his arms she thought everything had finally gone right; so perfect. She found comfort, safety, satisfaction and happiness in him. Being with him sent her into a blissful state, hypnotized and trapped inside his strong arms and silver, deep gaze. Where else could she ever want to be?  
  
"Are you sure?" he chuckled, lightly.  
  
"You want me to leave, then?" She asked him, faking a sad tone. He wrapped his arms around her tighter, pressing her skin against his.  
  
"You, here with me?" He said, grinning. He tilted her chin up with his hand, staring into her brown eyes. He smiled, his silver eyes dancing.  
  
"I wouldn't have it any other way." 


	28. Clear Skies and Gentle Breezes

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: don't own characters, just the plot.  
  


* * *

  
Clear Skies and Gentle Breezes  
  
Harry stood out in the balcony, staring out into the endless blue sky, feeling the breeze ruffle through his hair, echoing his thoughts and feelings. He could feel the fresh, chilly air press against his skin, making shivers travel up his spine. But he liked it out here; quiet, peaceful. Lonely. He sighed, his eyes never moving from the quite plain but extraordinary site.  
  
His mind was on her again. He could still feel the painful throbbing in his heart, just thinking about her. He remembered how close he had been, to telling her, and he remembered how his conscience and heart had been crying out to him. And the sudden unbearable weight that had suddenly appeared in him, seeing everything as if it were grey. That was his chance, and he had blown it. Or rather, he had let it go. But Hermione was happy, he saw, she was really happy with Malfoy, whether he liked it or not. And even though it pained him, he wanted her to be happy; she deserved to be. He didn't need any more dilemmas or problems to be brought into her life.  
  
Besides, he was her friend. And if he had left her when she was troubled, then what good could he probably do if he was her boyfriend? Not much better, he was sure. It was just so hard, letting go of her. Probably the hardest thing he'd ever have to do.  
  
Just then, he heard the door open, and a person join him outside. Hermione turned to him, smiling faintly.  
  
"Hey Harry," she said to him, softly. Harry tried to ignore the straining tug that was pulling on his heart, as he smiled back at her, his green eyes dark but sparkling.  
  
"Hey." Hermione sighed, as she felt the soft breeze comb through her tresses, and press against her skin. She looked out into the beautiful site, and she smiled, remembering Harry had a knack for seeing things in such plain views as this. She could help but agree with him; it really was extraordinary.  
  
"It's beautiful out here," she said.  
  
"Yeah, it really is," he said quietly. And they both stood in a comfortable silence, before Harry spoke.  
  
"How's Malfoy?" He asked her, even though he knew he answer could only pain him.  
  
"He's fine," she said, smiling faintly.  
  
"How is it?" He asked, turning to her. "Being with him, I mean."  
  
She smiled at him. "He's a nice guy, Harry, really. He treats me well, and you've got nothing to worry about. But it is wonderful, being with him," she said. "If that's what you mean."  
  
She grinned at him. "What about you? I mean, there's got to be some girl on your mind."  
  
Harry smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "There was."  
  
"Oh?" She said, surprised. "And I take it you don't want to tell me who she is?"  
  
Harry sighed. "I think it's better if you don't know, Hermione." Hermione looked at him.  
  
"Well then.. It's safe to say you fell in love with her?"  
  
"I still am."  
  
"Oh," she said, then lightly giggled.  
  
"Have you told her?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Harry you've got to tell her! You never know, you might be the boy she's had on her mind too."  
  
Harry smiled, but she noticed it was a sad sort of smile.  
  
"I can't." He turned to her, his eyes dark and cloudy.  
  
"She loves someone else." Hermione pressed her lips into a firm line, looked at him, then turned back to the blue sky.  
  
"How do you know?" she said, softly.  
  
"Because, I know," he said.  
  
"Does she know you love her?"  
  
Harry smiled, looking at her just staring into the sky.  
  
"No."  
  
"Is she close to you?" Harry didn't answer, as he turned his gaze back to the sky also.  
  
Hermione sighed.  
  
"Do you.. Well, do you really feel so strongly about her?"  
  
"Yes," he said softly.  
  
"Then.. You should tell her." Harry didn't answer.  
  
"Harry," she said. "You should tell her. Maybe she deserves to know."  
  
"I think.. It'll just hurt her, and I can't bear that."  
  
Hermione sighed. "If she really means so much to you.."  
  
"She's really happy, right now. I don't want to ruin it for her."  
  
"But, do you want to tell her?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then you should."  
  
Harry smiled, watching the sky as it tinted pink. Hermione looked at him, and she took one look at the sky. She wrapped her fingers in his, and gave it a squeeze, before going back inside.  
  
Harry smiled, his green eyes glimmering from the soft but bright hue.  
  
"Maybe I just did," he whispered to himself, his eyes still on the abundant scene. 


	29. The Future

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: don't own characters, just the plot.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
well, here it is. The last installments of 'Wonderwall.' But I think its safe to tell you that there WILL BE ONE MORE CHAPTER AFTER THIS. I want to thank all of the wonderful reviewers, and also Lalita22, Leslieglady, lizziemalfoy (I am so sorry if I misspelled it) and all of those who have been so loyal and encouraging. It made me really happy to see you guys review for each chapter. I just wanted you to know that it hasn't gone on unnoticed.  
  
Thank you to my amazing cousins Joanne and CB, and my friends Rubie, Rita, Ann and Arianne. To all of you, my reviewers, cousins and friends, this is for you.  
  
Just to tell you, this chapter is months after 'Clear Skies and Gentle Breezes.' I wrote this days ago, but ff.net was having problems, and I couldn't login. But, nonetheless, I'm sorry I made you wait so long.  
  
Bye for now.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
The Future  
  
Hermione could feel the chilly breeze comb through her hair, as she closed her eyes and listened, silent. She could feel a pair of strong arms around her, as she heard the faint beating of his heart underneath his shirt. She smiled faintly, as she felt his arms tighten around her waist. She could feel his soft breaths tickling her neck, her skin tingling pleasantly from his contact.  
  
But deep down, she felt a tear of guilt ripping through.  
  
Draco held her closely, as her small, warm body leaned against his. He could smell the fragrant scent of her hair, the faint trace of warm vanilla on her smooth, skin. He could hear the leaves of the tree lending its shade to them rustling, moving to the wind. The breeze kissed his skin, as he could feel his soul being rejuvenated somehow. Perhaps it was because for the first time, he felt at peace, with Hermione in his arms. The wind blowing gently, holding her as he felt like he could never let go. For once, his mind wasn't troubled with such vast worries, or thoughts. Even if he had been, it was all gone now. For when he was with Hermione, he felt all his worries fade away. His moments with her, holding her against him, he felt as if nothing could interfere any longer. They were in their own world, their fantasy. And they were living it.  
  
They were to graduate in about a few more weeks, and he felt it was essential to spend as much time with her as possible. Mostly they would just meet up here, outside in their free time, or in the common room. They would talk, but most of the time, they would just hold each other, neither of them uttering a word. Because they truly didn't need to, at times such as these. Words were already too unnecessary. They knew what they were both feeling, how they felt. They didn't need to clarify it, to say any of it. They both knew, deep down.  
  
Hermione laid her hands on Draco's, entwining her fingers with his. He pulled her closer. He didn't want to admit it, but he was worried, thinking about her when they were apart. He thought about what she would do over the summer, and what she would do, a life free of Hogwarts. A life free of him. They hadn't talked about the summer, what they were planning to do with their time, and their time after that. Draco avoided the subject, especially when she had brought it up a few months ago. He didn't know what to say. What was he to do after Hogwarts? What did he want to become? He didn't know. He hadn't known time would rush by so fast, all those times he had skipped on thinking about his future. Yes, he thought about the future. But not his future. Ever since his father had been sent to Azkaban, a few years back, he didn't really care for the future anymore. He had tried thinking about it, but it was so weightless, his thoughts were so empty, so vacant. It could never occupy his mind for more than a few mere seconds, forgetting all about it after that. His future wasn't a big deal for him. It hadn't been. But now, just a few more weeks until he was out of Hogwarts, he felt rushed to think about his future, almost forced. And when he closed his eyes and concentrated, and tried to visualize how his future would be...  
  
He saw himself. With Hermione. Happy, satisfied and content.  
  
His future. He wanted to be with Hermione. To feel how he felt now, right at his moments he was with her, all the time. He wanted to be with her. Maybe forever, the rest of the days left in his future. He didn't know how he would react if he had to let her go, be apart from her so she could live a normal muggle life. Because she wasn't a normal muggle. She was so much more, more than anyone could ever dream of. She meant so much more, to him. What if he did have to let her go?  
  
He wouldn't.  
  
He couldn't.  
  
Draco leaned in closer, holding her tightly.  
  
"I don't know if I can let you go," he whispered to her. Hermione opened her eyes, as she heard his words. She smiled faintly, but it didn't reach her eyes. She held Draco's hands firmly.  
  
"I wouldn't leave this place, if I didn't have to," she said softly. Draco opened his eyes.  
  
"What do you mean?" He asked her, sensing some sadness and finality in her voice. Something wasn't right. It was in the way she inhaled deeply, the way she held his hands so tightly. Her voice sounded as if she was going to miss such a big part of her, as if.. She was leaving.  
  
"I mean.. Everything. Hogwarts, Hogsmeade, everything. I'm going to miss it all terribly," she said sadly.  
  
"You can always come back, you know that. For Hogsmeade, all you have to do is apparate, or use floo powder. And I'm sure Hogwarts will always welcome you, being the smartest witch in generations to enter."  
  
Draco could feel his grip get tighter, his skin become more icy and cold, as she stayed silent. He couldn't look into her eyes, but he didn't need to. There was something she was hiding, something that was important that she wasn't telling him.  
  
"What is it?" He asked her, softly. Hermione sighed, as she turned to face him. Draco saw that her eyes were sad, dark and cloudy. His hands on her waist felt cold all of a sudden, the chilly air compressing and trying to dominate over the burning warmth she brought unto him.  
  
"Draco," she whispered, her heart feeling as if it were breaking in two, crumbling. She looked into his silver eyes, as she held his hand tightly.  
  
"I'm not coming back."  
  
Draco felt as if his throat had closed up, as the world suddenly deafened into a deadly silence that seemed to be strangling him. What did she mean? His thoughts and intense emotions suddenly swarmed, frantic and buzzing. His hands felt cold, clammy. Dead. What was she saying? He swallowed hard, trying to speak.  
  
"What do you mean?" He asked her, his voice hoarse. He tried to search her eyes, but she looked down, at their hands.  
  
"My parents.. They planned for me to go to a muggle college, and I've already agreed. I can't stay here, or visit, as often as you wish. They're worried, after all that happened with Harry, and they decided.. That they don't want me coming back here anymore." She looked up, and met his eyes. They were sad, dim, and glossy. She knew saying those words to him would trigger a sharp insinuation of tears, but she didn't know how heartbroken she would feel when she had told him. It was worse than she thought; it felt as if every single bone her body was being ground into powder, her blood running cold and finally turning into solid ice.  
  
"What?" He asked her, his voice almost inaudible. Hermione looked down again. She couldn't stand that look in his eyes. It was almost as if he didn't know that this was hurting her as much as it was hurting him.  
  
"They told me, that after I was done with Hogwarts, I would be back in the muggle world. Going to college, getting a degree in Philosophy, having a steady job," she said, her voice breaking. "I told them I agreed."  
  
"How could you tell them that?" His voice suddenly rising. "How could you agree?" Draco's eyes were hard, but they showed he was about to break also. How could she do this? How could she agree to such a ridiculous thing as that?  
  
How could she agree to leave everything she had here behind?  
  
How could she agree to leave him?  
  
"It was in fifth year," she said, her eyes pleading at him. "I agreed because I didn't know what I would do after Hogwarts, where I would stay, what my career was going to be. I didn't know all this was going to happen," she said. Draco rose, and Hermione stumbled, but got back on her feet.  
  
"So you're just planning to leave everything behind, just like that?" He asked her, angry. "Everything you've done here, you're going to throw it away like it was never anything in the first place?"  
  
"No!" She said, tears stinging her eyes. "Hogwarts will always be a part of me, and magic, you know that!"  
  
"How about us, Hermione?" He yelled. "What about us?"  
  
He watched her, as she said nothing, tears sliding down her cheeks.  
  
"Were you planning to leave it behind too? Were you planning to end it, try to make it fade from your memory?"  
  
"No! I wasn't," she cried. She walked closer to Draco, as his eyes followed her, fuming.  
  
"Draco, listen to me," she said, "I love you. I would never leave it behind, I would never leave you."  
  
"Then what are you doing now?" He yelled, and Hermione winced, as her whole body trembled.  
  
"What do you prefer to call it, Hermione? Because in both our eyes I can tell you for a fact that it is leaving."  
  
"We can still be together, Draco! There's letters-"  
  
"Letters?" He said, both incredulously and angry. "Letters? Bloody letters? You expect us to stay together be LETTERS?" He stared at Hermione, as she covered her face with her hands, sobbing. He felt his hands clench into fists, his nails digging into skin. He was shaking with anger, so overwhelmed by her sudden news. His heart felt as if it was shattering and splitting apart at such an alarming rate, the blood in his veins running cold. His eyes were cold, hard, hateful and angry.  
  
"When were you planning to tell me, Hermione?" He asked, seething. His voice was strained, angry. She just felt like someone had literally stabbed a stinging dagger into the cracks of her already broken heart. That someone was her.  
  
"Were you planning to tell me at all? Or were you just going to leave, acting as if nothing truly happened. Was that what you planning to do?"  
  
"I was going to tell you," she said, her wet tears feeling sticky on her face. 'I was."  
  
"When?"  
  
Hermione stayed silent, as Draco ran a hand through his hair and turned away, abruptly. Draco glared up at the sky, feeling as if there was this thriving, cold fire behind them. The atmosphere had gotten colder, the frosty wind biting at his skin. He felt numb, almost. He wished he was numb. Then he wouldn't be feeling any of this.  
  
He wished she wasn't really leaving.  
  
Maybe this was just a dream.. Maybe..  
  
That she was just lying, that this was just a joke she was pulling on him.  
  
She was lying.. She was lying.. She had to be.  
  
It hurt so much that he knew she was being honest, telling the severe and harsh truth.  
  
For once, he wanted anything but the truth.  
  
He wished that things didn't have to be this way, that he didn't have to know that he would never see her again after this. But he was angry, fuming with such a hateful rage that he hadn't felt so strongly before. She was leaving. How could she?  
  
"How could you be so selfish?" He said, his fists shaking at his side.  
  
"I didn't know, Draco," she said. "I didn't know I would fall in love with you. I didn't know any of this would happen. But, my parents want me to go back so terribly. I can't refuse them." He turned around, and looked at her. His silver eyes were dark and cloudy, but they still pierced through her just as before. Although, this time, it hurt. His intense gaze penetrated right through her, breaking down everything she thought she had in control.  
  
"You can't refuse them? Why is it that you can't refuse them when you really need to? Why can't you refuse them when you know you want to stay?" Hermione swallowed hard, but her throat was still so dry, and parched.  
  
"I hope you'll forgive me," she said softly, but it rang through his mind, echoing in his ears. Could he forgive her? She was leaving him.  
  
The girl he loved more than anything else was leaving him. This was not the goodbye he was hoping for. In fact, he hadn't wanted to say goodbye at all. He had been going to ask her if she would like to come visit him over the summer, even stay for a bit.  
  
This was why he didn't think about the future. He was going to plan his future when the time was right, when he was sure of how everything was going to go. He had wanted Hermione to be in his future. And somehow, she was the whole foundation of his plan for the future. With her beside him, he knew he could do anything.  
  
But now she had her own future to fulfill. One that didn't have him anywhere in it.  
  
Never, in his life, had he felt his heart broken in two such as this moment. It felt as if the air itself was poisoning his lungs, suffocating and strangling him. The ground beneath him was no longer firm and steady, but was now sinking in, eating him. The wind pierced through all his nerves, his skin. The frosty breeze numbed his soul. Or he wished it did.  
  
He couldn't tell. His throat was dry, but felt as if it was overflowing with such emotions that he couldn't hold back. His lungs were going to burst, his nails puncturing into his flesh. His mind was blank, but at the same time, so heavy and full to exploding.  
  
'How could she do this to me.. How? How could she leave?' rang in his head, circling his neck, choking him. Even death's hands couldn't be any colder than this.  
  
He turned, and looked into her eyes, cold, angry.  
  
"I don't know if I can," and with that, he brushed past her and walked back to the school, leaving her with the anesthetized wind that pierced through her. Leaving her with his words and cold, silver gaze lingering in her mind.  
  
Second by second, breaking her down... 


	30. I Won't Say Goodbye

Wonderwall  
  
By tearsofher  
  
Disclaimer: don't own characters, just the plot.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
thank you to all of you, of course. For reading this story, for reviewing, for willing to be swept into my hopeless romantic daydreams of Draco and Hermione. I hope this has affected you in a positive way, as it did to me.. I had a great time writing it, and I hope you all had a great time reading it, also. Thank you, and please review. I want to know what you think.  
  
I'm afraid to say that this is finally the end...  
  
But the end is the beginning for some.  
  
Until next time,  
  
-tearsofher.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
I Won't Say Goodbye  
  
The exams stressed out everyone, making sure their wands were ready although there couldn't possibly anything wrong with them. Students were always in the library, with piles of books in front of them. And needless to say, students were also crammed in the common room, trying to get as much information into their heads as they possibly could.  
  
Of course, Hermione also spent a majority of her time studying, up to her neck in books. But she had a different reason, besides being able to pass their final exams for the year. Studying was her solace, a sort of corrupted and broken solace. She hadn't seen Draco over the past week, because she had been avoiding him, but she knew he was avoiding her too. In class they didn't look at each other, not even a glance.  
  
She didn't know how painful suffering of a broken heart could be, until now. Especially since she had been the one to cause it for both of them.  
  
She felt so alone, so angry with herself, so sad and guilty. She knew she should have told him sooner.. But what good would have that done? It couldn't possibly lessen the pain, could it? She would still have to leave.  
  
Leave this extraordinary place.  
  
She sighed, as she raised her gaze to above the book. She looked around her room. Thick, red curtains shielding the sunlight from pouring in, lavish and comfortable furniture. She put down her book, as she observed her surroundings, for the first time since she had come in here in the beginning of the year. She realized how badly she would miss staring up at her ceiling, taking baths in their Prefect bathrooms. She was going to miss Hogwarts dearly. She had practically grown up here; she knew she couldn't guess the feeling of wanting to be back here, once she was out in the muggle world again. Someday she knew that she would long to come back here terribly, no matter how successful she would turn out to be. It wasn't going to be the same. Nothing could. Hogwarts had been such a major part of her life, and now.. She was leaving. She was done. She was gone.  
  
She remembered when she had told Harry and Ron, about her plan for the future. How she wouldn't be able to come back. She remembered the look of sadness in Ron's deep blue eyes, as she wrapped her arms around him, and told him that she would miss him, no matter how many arguments they had had through the years. And she remembered, as she untangled herself from her red haired friend, she turned to Harry. He was smiling at her, solemnly. She looked at him, and smiled as she gave him a big hug, closing her eyes as she felt his strong, lean arms around her. She knew she would always remember the feeling Harry gave her; safety, security. And as she pulled back, she thought she had seen something flicker in Harry's eyes, although it was too fast to read, or recognize. He smiled at her, his emerald eyes dark and still cloudy, as he held her hand tightly.  
  
"You'll be back. I know it," was what he had said to her, grinning. She smiled back at him, although unsure of what he meant. Did he really know she was going to come back? How was he so sure? She didn't ask, as she just tried to treasure this moment. She knew these might be her last days to ever see her two best friends.  
  
She knew she would have trouble leaving, far more than anyone else. They would be living in the wizarding world, occasionally running into old classmates and having coffee or lunch. Who could she run into in the muggle world? Harry had told them his plan of staying here, in Sirius's house. He had asked her if she wanted to stay there with him, since he said it was going to be quiet lonely, even with Ron agreeing to live with him for a while. She was saddened by his decision to stay here, but happy for him. She knew he felt as if he belonged in the wizarding world, and all the people he loved were here. He didn't have a good reason to go back. Hermione wished she didn't have a good reason to go back either, and envied Harry, one way or another. But she did have reasons; her parents. She couldn't bear to break their hearts. That would be too cruel. After all, they had agreed for her to come to Hogwarts, hadn't they? She held disappointment deep down for her parents, and felt as if she had been let down, although she would never admit it to anyone's face. Not even her own. But she had thought that when they had let her come to Hogwarts, they were already prepared to let her go. It was perfectly reasonable. To her, at least.  
  
She wanted them to let her go. She was old enough. Old enough to make her own decisions, do whatever she had or wanted to do. Didn't they trust her? Maybe once upon a time they did, or maybe they did, still. But from her view of all of this, it seemed it wasn't enough.  
  
Maybe she should've owled them that night, when Draco had stormed off. She should've written to them and told them she regretted saying yes, and that she was so happy here. That she had found someone to love, someone to spend the rest of her life with. Maybe they would've understood, maybe they would've let her stay and be with Draco. Maybe then things wouldn't be this way. Maybe things wouldn't have to end this way.  
  
Maybe then Draco and her would still be together, enjoying their last days at Hogwarts.  
  
Maybe.  
  
But seeing those pictures, and her parent's happy letters, so excited and glad to have her coming back.. She couldn't. She didn't want to imagine the look on their faces if she told them she wanted to stay. She didn't want to imagine hearing the deafly silence that seemed to suffocate everything around her, when she sent the letter off. She didn't want to imagine their reply. If they would ever speak to her again.  
  
She didn't want to break their hearts. It had already been so hard for them to send her to Hogwarts, as happy as they were. She told herself to try and put herself in their shoes for a bit, whenever that overwhelming guilt took over, when she thought of Draco. Thinking that she would never see him again after this. It worked, or rather, it tried to dominate, but it never could.  
  
She knew it never would.  
  
She remembered staying up one night, staring outside through her window. She remembered thinking, wondering where she would be, five years from now. Maybe even a year from now. She wondered if she was going to be happy, have a steady boyfriend, have a wonderful job. She wondered if she was ever going to be happy as she was when she was here, with Harry, Ron, and Draco, in Hogwarts. She tried to see herself years from now, if she would still be staying up at night, looking up at the moon and wondering.  
  
Wondering how things would be so different if she had stayed. How happy she would be, if she was still with Draco. They might've been married already, even. If she would consider agreeing to her parents as the worst mistake in her life. Because she was, right at this moment. She didn't know if she was just thinking of herself when she had agreed, and that breaking her parents hearts was just a lame excuse to try and shift the heavy weight on her heart. Maybe she was, just being selfish. But wouldn't she also be selfish if she had told them she was going to stay?  
  
Her mind was so confused, so frustrated at every crushing thought she had about leaving, about staying. She suddenly realized she was crying, tears pouring down her cheeks, her vision so blurry and blotched with blotted colors. It felt as if her heart was breaking down under the immense amount of pressure, her lungs almost bursting. She realized she was so angry with herself, for waiting this long, therefore not being able to tell her parents. For hurting Draco, as much as herself. She had done this. Done all of it. It wasn't her parents' fault, it wasn't Draco's. It wasn't anybody else's but hers. She covered her face with her hands, sobbing, her body trembling and wavering. She could taste the salty, bittersweet tears in her mouth, just reminding her of how much it hurt inside. She hadn't felt anything like this before. Heartbreak. Never as much as this. Her sobs shattered the stillness and quietness of her room, her gasps for air so deep and penetrating. She could feel her heart ripping, hearing the splintering sound of it shattering and crumbling, vanishing to the endless pit of her stomach that seemed to be cutting in deeper. The pain was unbearable, slicing through her like a fierce, bitter, icy wind that numbed all her senses and nerves so painfully. Her hands were sticky with her hot tears, her eyes puffy and red from the outpour. It was so hard to tell herself that everything was going to be alright when she knew better, when she knew it was a lie. Trying to convince herself would surely kill her, just the attempt alone.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
She smiled, as she saw her fellow classmates happily smiling and laughing, diploma in hand. She knew only those who could see right through her mask could tell she wasn't happy about leaving at all. But the honest truth was, she didn't know who could see right through her anymore. Her parents had come, so happy and so glad that it made her cringe. She felt sick to her stomach, from all the smiling and acting as if she was glad to be leaving, but at the same time, sorry to be departing from such a place that held so many memories, happy and sad. She wanted to stay, needed to stay.  
  
But didn't have the heart to say it.  
  
Hogwarts held a special ceremony for them, the headmaster also allowing the younger years to come, if they wanted to. She remembered, trying to smile, but was breaking deep inside, as she headed up to receive her diploma. The headmaster's blue eyes twinkled with such pride, as he shook her hand firmly but meaningfully. And as she looked around at the people who clapped and whistled, particularly Harry, Ron, George and Fred- who were invited to come, feeling that her smile was true for one mere second, looking around at her peers who were smiling with such determination, and happiness. She walked down to return to her seat, feeling the once again the crushing reality crash down on her, as their loud applause, shouts and whistling faded, but still echoed in her mind.  
  
She remembered seeing Draco up there, his face seemed blank, and expressionless, shaking the headmaster's hand and being handed his diploma. She remembered the loud cheers, whistling and applause, especially coming from the Slytherins, but was surprised to see that his eyes were dark and cloudy, no sign of a smile or even a smirk spreading through his features. In fact, she saw that his eyes were hard and cold, just like before. She remembered hearing her heart break even more, as she knew that he only looked that way before, back to the days of calling her a filthy mudblood who didn't deserve to walk in the halls of Hogwarts. And, for one second, she saw him look at her, her heart's rhythmic beating halting for a split second. His eyes were steely, dark, but he didn't look at her with such hatred. In fact, she could've recalled that he looked at her with sadness and longing.. Regret. But then the applause rushed back to her ears, and he quickly looked away, walking down from the stage. He didn't look at her for the rest of the ceremony.  
  
She stared, the gentle breeze kissing her skin. She recognized how everyone's eyes seemed to be sparkling with such delight, the corners of their mouths curved into such a wide smile. She heard their laughter, as she saw them embrace and exchange addresses and such. She hadn't realized Harry had walked up beside her, and was observing the scene also, and her reaction.  
  
Harry looked at her, his green eyes trying to search her expression. Her eyes were dark, and he saw no sign of relief or happiness. He was worried, as he hadn't seen her this quiet or solemn, especially at such an event that required celebrating and fun. He looked out into the crowds of joyful people, and pressed his lips into a thin line. He suddenly knew why she was acting the way she was, why her smile seemed so strained all throughout the day. She didn't want to leave. But he knew, as she had told them about her plans, he remembered she called them 'her parents' plans.' Not hers. She didn't' want to leave Hogwarts. But then again, none of them did. But of course this was harder on her, since he recalled her saying she wouldn't be coming back. He knew how sad and over whelming that was, considering they had spent most of their lives here. He knew what it was to miss something, or someone badly. His heart was still throbbing, underneath everything that had gone on. He hadn't told her that he loved her, and for now, he wasn't planning to. It wasn't the sort of thing she could hold on to, and what he needed for her to be right now, was to be honest, and at least a little bit happy.  
  
"Fantastic, isn't it?" He asked her quietly. She turned to look at him, but turned her gaze back to the sight. He continued, "being up there. On that stage. It's exhilarating. I don't think there's anything like it."  
  
"No, I guess there isn't," she answered, her voice as soft as a whisper.  
  
"Hermione.. I know you don't want to leave," he said, watching her. He saw something flicker in her deep brown eyes.  
  
"You can always come back, don't let anyone tell you otherwise."  
  
She looked at him, her eyes sad. "It's really a matter of moving on, Harry," she said. "And leaving is the first step."  
  
"That doesn't mean leaving everything."  
  
"Well then, what does it mean? Because Harry," she sighed. "I don't know what to do. I honestly don't have a clue."  
  
"Do what your heart tells you, what you really want to do."  
  
"It seems.. It's not clear, to me, Harry. I don't want to break my parents' hearts," she said, looking over at her parents who were talking to Professor Dumbledore.  
  
"But what about yours?"  
  
She smiled faintly. "It already is."  
  
"There's always a way to mend it, somehow. You just have to be brave and risk it."  
  
"I thought you already knew, Harry. I'm a coward. You were the hero. We were only there to urge you on."  
  
"That's not true. You're not a coward, Hermione. And you and Ron are just as much of a hero as I am."  
  
Hermione sighed, as she looked up at Harry and smiled faintly. "I'm going to miss you, Harry," she said softly, and Harry wrapped his arms around her.  
  
He hugged her close, tightly, and he was afraid he was never going to be able to let go. He didn't want to tell her that it hurt him more than it should, to know that she was leaving. He closed his eyes, inhaling the scent of her skin, and the scent of her hair that always seemed to make him feel light-headed. Hermione held onto him firmly, also.  
  
"I'm going to miss you too, Hermione," he said to her. He pulled back, and she smiled at him. He smiled back at her, his green eyes twinkling faintly. He looked at her, fully, trying to memorize the curves of her face, the way her brown eyes seemed to pierce into him. Although he knew she was already engraved into his mind, his heart.  
  
There, there was Hermione Granger. The first girl he ever loved.  
  
He grinned at her, chuckling lightly. "I'm going to miss you like hell."  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Hermione had packed up her bags, her suitcases and school supplies, although she knew she wouldn't have such as an important use for them anymore. She sat in the train compartment, with Harry and Ron, for they insisted she sit with them since it would be her last train ride with them. She sat quietly, looking out the window, although everything was whizzing by too fast to see. She felt at peace, almost, with the slight rip of sadness. She bottled up everything she felt, for now. It wasn't fair for her to be like that, when she should be enjoying every last bit of time she would have with her two best friends. She was, but the honest truth was that she had been thinking about a certain silver-gray eyed boy who captured her heart, not too long ago.  
  
And how he still held it in his hands, although they were so fragile and easy to break. Maybe he thought that there was no hope for them to be together, but she thought otherwise. If it was really true love, if their love was really strong enough, they would find a way.  
  
But then she remembered that whole thing was a myth. Could love really break through anything? Anything at all? So far it seemed it was just a legend.  
  
It almost brought her to tears again, thinking about him, but she held it back with struggle, as she knew better than to cry in front of her two friends. They would ask her what was wrong, and to be honest, she didn't want to explain. She didn't want to tell them she was suffering of a broken heart, that she felt like she was being mashed underneath the heavy mask she was wearing. Minute by minute, second by second, it became heavier.. She didn't know how she was going to keep it up.  
  
She didn't realize that she had lulled off to sleep, the thought of Draco's piercing eyes scarred in her mind.  
  
++++++  
  
Hermione felt someone shaking her awake, as she stirred. She opened her eyes, slowly, and saw that it was Harry who was waking her. She sat up, and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, still weary. He was grinning at her.  
  
"It's time. We're here."  
  
Hermione headed off to the bathroom first, trying to freshen up. She splashed icy cold water on her face, sending chills through her body. The lights seemed too bright, as she looked at herself. Dark, sad brown eyes. Solemn expression. She sighed, as she turned off the faucet and wiped her hands. She headed out.  
  
She walked through the corridor, slowly. She dragged her finger along the side of the wall, trying to memorize the feel of the material underneath her skin. She stopped, and looked around, standing in front of the Prefect compartment. The sliding door was still shut, and she couldn't hear a single sound in the room. She stared sadly at the door, remembering their train ride at the beginning of the year. Her and Draco.  
  
Suddenly she felt those tears coming back again, but held them back. Even if she knew no one else was here anymore, she didn't want to cry. She hastily wiped them away, sighing, a ragged breath escaping from her mouth. She gave the door one last look, as she turned away to head to the station and meet her parents. It was time to go home.  
  
But It didn't feel like going home. It felt like leaving home.  
  
Suddenly, in mid step, she heard the compartment door slide open. She froze, as her eyes wandered to the door. She felt her heart stop.  
  
Draco saw her, and felt as if his lungs were being restricted again. His chest felt heavy, compressed tightly. His heart was beating so fast and hard that it hurt, the butterflies that he had become so familiar with returning. They both stared into each other's eyes, trapped. He saw the pain in her eyes, regret. He found it hard to gulp down, as he watched her turn her gaze away. He remembered this. This scene. It replayed in his mind dozens of times last summer.  
  
The light from the sunbeams outside shone around her like she was angel, her brown eyes seeming lighter, but dark at the same time. Her hair spread down her shoulders, silky and wavy. His heart yearned to touch her, to hold her, to kiss her. He still couldn't believe she was leaving. She was leaving. And never coming back.  
  
"What are you still doing here?" She asked quietly, her soft voice ringing so loudly and hauntingly in his ears.  
  
"I fell asleep," he said to her. There was silence, as neither of them could find anything to say, although millions of thoughts and demands echoed through their minds. Hermione spoke, sending the silence shattering.  
  
"I really am sorry, Draco," she said, her eyes pleading into his own. He could feel her gaze melting everything inside of him, like the sun's beams on a frosty winter day.  
  
"I hope.. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.. Someday." Draco stayed silent, lost in her eyes. He wanted to tell her to stay, that he needed her. That he loved her more than anything. That he couldn't bear losing her, letting her leave. But he couldn't, as he felt as if something was strangling his heart, his mouth getting suddenly dry and parched.  
  
Hermione sighed, mentally pleading for him to say something. Anything. But as seconds passed, and he hadn't uttered a single word, she could feel that sharp hint of tears sting her eyes again.  
  
She looked at him, and Draco felt as if she was looking into his soul.  
  
"I won't say goodbye," he whispered to her, and she felt her heart buckle, dropping bit by bit. She nodded, her vision getting blurry. She raised her gaze to his again, and whispered her reply.  
  
"Goodbye," she said, and she looked at him one last time, before heading down the corridor and out the train. Draco stared after her, even after her retreating back was gone, but left every single trace behind. He swallowed hard, as he clenched his hands, closing his eyes.  
  
He knew he couldn't let her leave. Not like this. He didn't want her to go. He loved her. He couldn't let her walk away. After a few minutes of contemplating, he opened his eyes, and bolted down the corridor. He ran out the train, and out into the masses of people in the station. He searched through the crowd, trying to find her.  
  
"Hermione!" He called out, but his calls were drowned out by the yells and laughter by his fellow Hogwarts students around him. He pushed through people, running as fast he could, calling out her name although he knew it was useless. But he couldn't give up hope. He couldn't. It was the only thing that he had left, besides his love for her. He reached platform 9 ½, and ran through it, out of breath as he searched the muggle train station. His lungs felt as if they were going to explode, as he panted, looking for a brown haired girl. He stood up, and turned, looking in every direction for any sign of her. None. He sighed, and let out a strangled and frustrated yell, as nearby people looked at him in confusion, and curiosity. He sighed, angrily. He could feel the crushing defeat deep inside him, his heart shattering. His hands felt cold, clammy, as he felt as if he couldn't breathe any longer. He tried to shallow his breaths, satisfy his lungs, but it was no use. His eyes stung, frustrated. He had let her walk away. He had let her leave.  
  
She was gone.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Hermione sighed as she sat on her bed, looking around. Her room seemed smaller to her, somehow. Her eyes wandered over to the suitcases and bags at the end of her bed. She hadn't packed them away, or even looked through them. She had tried, but it was just too painful. Maybe she would, one day when she finally found it in herself to move on. It had just been a week into the summer, and she wasn't feeling any better about leaving Hogwarts at all. Sure, she had seen all her relatives again, and seen her parents' smiles so wide and their laughter so hearty.  
  
She didn't know hearing their laugh, or seeing their smiles could be so heart breaking.  
  
She had tried to be happy, she did. With all that she had in her. But it wasn't enough. It could never be enough. Those nights she stayed awake, staring out her window. The moon would be full sometimes, the milky, glowing moonbeam spilling on her carpet floor. It brought back so many memories, but they all drove her to tears once again. They always did, nowadays. She thought it would lessen the vast load on her heart, but it never did. She didn't think it ever could.  
  
She had gone shopping, bought some new clothes.. But that didn't satisfy her. Everywhere she went, everything she saw, it just reminded her of the wizarding world, and how it was so different. She hadn't been so unhappy in her life.  
  
She collected a ragged breath, as she leaned back on her bed, the soft cushion molding against her. They felt cold, in this dark room. Her parents had gone off to work, and she was alone, in this house. It seemed so unfamiliar. The shadows in her room lurked, but not in the way she had grown accustomed to. Even the air seemed to be different.  
  
She had never felt so homesick.  
  
She missed Harry, and Ron, and Hogwarts.. Draco. So badly that she couldn't stand it. Sometimes she saw herself packing up and running away.. Just leaving a mere note to her parents saying where she had gone, and where she was staying. Which would be at Sirius's old house with Harry, of course. She gave it much thought, even counted how much money she left. She actually considered running away.  
  
It made her guilty, somehow, for that would only rip her parents' hearts apart even worse than staying. She had never thought about these things before, running away, what to write on the note that would be her goodbye.  
  
But she knew that it just wouldn't be fair. Her parents didn't know what she had to give up, what and who she had to leave. She didn't tell them. She knew she should've, and could've.. But everything just overwhelmed her so much. She just didn't know what to do anymore. She had played along with the fake happiness and charade, and she didn't know if she could keep it up. How could she? Her heart was being beaten and hammered, piece by piece crumbling down to the pit of her stomach.  
  
At least what was left of it.  
  
She heard the rain pounding on the roof, tapping on the windows. It made a rhythmic beating, as she just closed her eyes and listened, trying to imagine what it would feel like to be out in such a wet and hard storm such as this. She tried to see herself outside, the sky dark and endless, icy drops of rain pelting her skin, feeling as if they were piercing her skin. The bitter air would wrap around her, dominating against the warmth she once felt, tasting nature's tears in her mouth. The freezing drops would send a deathly chill throughout her body, and she would feel as if they numbed her soul.  
  
Just then she heard the doorbell ring, as she quietly sat up and got off the bed, her thoughts about the rain polluting her nerves, slowly fading into the background. She got out of her room, the house so dark and quiet, her footsteps light on the carpeted floor. She went down the stairs, as she walked to the door. She unlocked it with a simple wind of the lock, and twisted the knob. She opened the door, and was met with a sight that made her heart come to a sudden halt.  
  
Hermione felt as if every single nerve in her body had started bursting frantically, but at the same time, numb with absolute shock. She felt her hand drop from the knob, as it sprung back into place. The cold air struck her body, but she didn't notice. The sound of the rain became louder, the fresh air of the night invading her nose. But she couldn't hear it, or smell it.  
  
There, the boy who she longed to see but at the same time broke her heart when she saw him, was standing on her doorstep. Draco Malfoy. She didn't know if she was even breathing anymore.  
  
He was looking into her eyes, his piercing silver eyes searing into her soul, making the world around them fade. He was drenched, soaked from head to toe in the icy rain, his skin deathly pallid. He had his cloak on, but it was sodden. His hair fell across his face, drops of rain running down his features. He still managed to take her breath away.  
  
"Draco.." She whispered, in awe and shock. This was all so surreal. It had to be a dream, it just had to be. He had gone all this way here, just to see her. She couldn't believe it.  
  
He stared at her intently, and swallowed hard. He was shivering, freezing cold, but seeing her again made it all disappear. Her deep, brown eyes made him feel as if he was absolutely numb, but feeling the most intense and deepest feelings in the world. His heart pounded in his chest, his nerves buzzing and tingling.  
  
She was so beautiful. He didn't know what made him come here, but he thought about her the whole way. So this was where his hope, and determination drove him.  
  
This was where his love for her drove him.  
  
"I told you I wasn't going to say goodbye," he said to her, softly. And almost slowly, but quickly at the same time, she was in his arms again, his lips on hers. The chilly dampness of him pressed against her skin, as his hands held her again.  
  
He kissed her, passionately and intensely, as he held her close, his soaked skin and clothes dampening the thin fabric of her shirt, and chilled her skin. She raised her hands and entwined them in his hair, as he deepened the kiss, holding her even closer. Hermione felt everything swirl around her, the world and rain suddenly vanishing. The sound of the downpour around her was faint, as it faded. She could taste raindrops on his lips, as she could feel some kind of white, holy fire building up inside of her, thriving. They slowly ended the kiss, as they pulled back.  
  
Draco grinned at her, his dark silver eyes sparkling. His hands seemed to be scorching her skin, as they framed her face. Her heart was beating so loudly, pounding in her chest. He leaned in, for another kiss, their lips barely touching, the smile on his face slowly becoming faint, as he looked into her eyes.  
  
"And I don't mean to." 


End file.
